Week 10...Embassy and Adjustments

I'm not gonna lie, we are TIRED this week. So incredibly tired. I wanted to put that as the post title, but I realized I already did that for week 6 :) But for real, this week takes the cake in regards to fatigue. We are heavy into the rainy season here, and while it hasn't been terrible, it's definitely been muddy! Since we walk everywhere with the boys, we are constantly covered in mud and often just walking in the rain for long periods of time. Thankfully, the boys seem to be content, but it's definitely been an adventure! 

This week we completed our first of three visits to the Embassy, and will be going back again on Monday for our second visit. Overall things went well, but I am not getting my hopes up until my tush is sitting on that plane! We've had so many emotions running through our hearts this week; excitement to come home, nervousness at the boys' transition, sadness to leave this country and the beautiful Ugandans who have become our friends, frustration at the lack of service we will be able to provide these people from across the world, and fear of all the unknown variables to come! We've been diligently seeking God in all of these things, and trusting Him to guide us home. We feel going back home will be amazing and wonderful, but also mundane, as our hearts have been broken for this country, and I can't imagine going home to my cushy lifestyle and forgetting all the things God laid on my heart while I was here. Paul and I have both agreed that this is just the beginning of something bigger. What does bigger mean? We have no clue yet, but we know God has given us both the same desire and calling, and we are trusting God to reveal His plan to us as we continue to serve Him. 

Monday this week was a pretty normal day, however my amazing husband took the boys for breakfast so I could get a little sleep. It was SO NICE to have an extra hour in the morning, and I was so grateful for his consideration of me. When I woke up, I had gotten an e-mail from the US Embassy asking if I was able to make our document check that was scheduled for THIS morning. Umm, what?! We never received an e-mail from them after completing medicals last week, and I was a bit frustrated at the whole situation. Regardless, there was no way to make it in that day as we live so far away, so we re-scheduled it for Thursday at 9am (they only do doc checks on Mondays and Thursdays). Praise Jesus. All my boys got home around 10:00 or so, and they were SO excited to see me which seriously made me melt. We stayed in most of the morning, letting the boys run around and play, then made lunch a little after noon. After lunch we got them cleaned up and ready for nap. They both went down fairly easy, and we were so pleased at the progress we've made with them since we had them that first week! They both slept well, and Paul and I were able to get some things done while they rested. In the afternoon, we did snack, then headed into town for some errands. We stopped at the orphanage to pick up the boys' files so we could review them for the Embassy. We also chatted with the director regarding the next couple weeks, and tried to get a better understanding of their needs as well as ours. From there we went to the bank to exchange some money, then headed back downtown for an early dinner. The boys did SO well at the restaurant, and it was by far the best day we've had with J to date. Paul and I were so happy, and we were praying consistently that it was a true change and not just a fluke! :) After dinner we headed home, gave them their bath, then we watch part of a movie as a family while we munched on some popcorn. We put the boys to bed together, but it took them a little longer to fall asleep. At 9:30pm, I headed out with our landlady, Alba, and the other 2 moms to go to an Indian festival here in town. None of us really wanted to go as we were all pretty tired, but Alba insisted, so we all packed into her tiny Fiat Panda and headed to the festival. When we arrived we were definitely the only muzungus around, and us Americans felt like we were crashing a sacred event. Alba knew a few of the people there, so it was nice to see them greet her, but it was a bit of an awkward time :) After we looked around, we found some chairs in the back of the stage area and settled in. Soon music began and people began to fill the dance floor little by little as the music went on. They were walking in a circle around an alter doing a specific pattern of steps. Alba informed us that this was the way they began their prayers, and 45 minutes later they were all still going strong! We watched them finish their prayers then snuck out around 10:45. It was very interesting to see a different religion worship, but the whole time I was thanking God for how great He is. I couldn't imagine not having a personal relationship with God, and my heart was overwhelmed with thankfulness while I watched. Overall, it was such a good day and Paul and I were feeling beyond blessed at the progression we've seen in all of us. God is good.

J wearing Paul's hat at the restaurant

Water Bottle! They both LOVE water bottles!

L enjoying his...it's the little things in life :)

Indian Festival with Alba

Unfortunately on Tuesday the good behavior did not continue, in fact, it felt like we took a step back. Throughout the day we were at a bit of a loss for what to do, and we were definitely feeling the weight on our shoulders. The day started off as usual...getting the boys up, making breakfast, eating breakfast, getting the boys ready, us getting ready. However this morning was a continual battle with both of them, and it was almost as if they were consistently choosing to disobey us at every turn. It was only 9:30am and we were pretty frustrated. J spent most of that time being disciplined, but to be honest, L was also being difficult. At 10:30, we went our on usual walk/coffee/errands, and J freaked out because he wanted to go in the stroller and not be carried. We literally spent the next 30 minutes with J consistently sitting in the dirt on the side of the road, while he sulked and showed us how angry he was with us. We let him sit there until he chose to get up and listen, however after the 3rd tantrum, we simply picked him up, put him on Paul's back and let him scream/cry it out while we walked. About 10 minutes later, he FINALLY snapped out of is funk and was mostly back to his normal self. We were feeling so spent. When we got to the coffee place, it was still a consistent battle to get them to listen, and J had 2 more time-ins with me before he seemed to understand we meant business. Since he was being so fussy, Paul continues to carry him on his back so we could keep him contained a bit more. From there we split up to get some things done. Paul and J headed to the local market for fruit and eggs, and I took L with me to the copy place to make all the files we needed for the Embassy and the airport. Thankfully J did really well with Paul on their walk and seemed to be content by the time they met up with us at the copy store. It was clear these files were going to take FOREVER, so Paul took both boys to finish one more errand before heading home. Unfortunately, the boys went back into their funk as Paul walked them home, and continued to disobey Paul time and time again. Even lunch was such a debacle, and Paul was definitely getting very frustrated. He disciplined them multiple times between their lunch and nap, and finally made them just lay down and go to sleep. Thankfully they listened and both went down fairly well. Poor Paul was on the struggle bus. I on the other hand spent over 3 hours at the copy store trying to get everything done, and while the man helping me was very nice he was SLOW AS MOLASSES. OMG. I literally offered on multiple occasions to help him, but he said he couldn't let me. Additionally, doesn't your copier have a collate button? If not, I bet I could show you where to find it! It was frustrating to know that I could've done it myself in a quarter of the time, but then again, I'm learning to be patient! I got home around 2:30pm, and Paul and I made lunch and ate together. The boys slept poorly for their nap, and were up multiple times for no reason. We made them stay in bed and rest until 3:30 or so, and we were scared for what the afternoon might hold. I gave the boys snack once they were up, and then we headed outside to play as Paul had a work call at 4:30. The boys thankfully did pretty well with just me, and I was enjoying a reprieve in the bad behavior. Paul was done with his call a little before 6, and then hopped on a Boda to go get us dinner. Since the boys were so bad this morning, I was not risking going out, so Paul got food and brought it home for us to have at our place. The boys ate ok, but took forever to finish their food, and it was still a lot of redirection to stop playing and start eating! We struggled through bath, took them out early for disobeying, got them ready for bed and put them down at 7:45. At 9:00 they were still awake, but were finally out by 9:20. Good grief, Charlie Brown. Once they were in bed, Paul worked and I spent over an hour sorting through all the copies I had made that morning, then began putting the files together for the Embassy and the airport. It was so tedious trying to sort through over 350 pages, but I finally finished and was happy with how things looked. At 9:30 Paul and I got some ice cream from Alba and it was much needed. I also could've used a martini or two, but I guess I'll have to wait until I get home! After that I had gotten a call from one of the other moms who just needed to talk, so Paul continued to work and I headed over to her place to see what was up. I let her talk and vent for the next hour or so, then headed back to my place around 10:45, before I showered, journaled and crashed. Thank God Tuesday was OVER.

L wearing his "glasses"

Of course J follows suit!

Wednesday started off rough, but got better as the day went on. The boys slept until about 7am (A BIG RECORD!), and Paul and I were PUMPED. Yay for sleep! We were able to keep the boys quietly playing in bed until 8am, and we were both beyond happy to have a little extra time. Once the boys were up, we made breakfast, then got them ready for the day. J was still having a rough time this morning though, so most of it was spent in a time-in with Paul. Once he finally settled down, we got our things together and headed downtown. We carried both boys today to minimize the meltdowns, and they were both fairly content on our walk. The boys did great at the coffee shop while they ate their snack, and Paul and I were actually able to talk/plan out our day. After coffee, we took the boys to get their passport photos taken (we need them for the airport security file), and also had pictures printed of the boys to give to their biological families. At that point it was almost noon, so we walked back home to make lunch. The boys ate well and were behaving, until J decided to drop a glass plate on the floor (on purpose), and it shattered everywhere. Needless to say, Paul and I were SO FRUSTRATED, and J didn't get to finish his lunch as he spent the next 25 minutes crying. While Paul held J, I cleaned up all the glass, while L finished his lunch. Paul and I switched boys for nap, and he took L, who fell asleep right away. J on the other hand was fighting me tooth and nail and after he started to get more aggressive, I left the room because I could feel my blood starting to boil. Paul finally got J to sleep 20+ minutes later, and I spent that time sitting on the bathroom floor crying it out. I was just beyond spent with the last couple days, and as a human, you can only be so patient for so long before you need a break. Well that was today. Once Paul came out, I needed 15 more minutes to compose myself, then came out to make lunch for us. Paul and I took this time to share how we were doing and talked through our frustrations, which definitely helped a lot. These conversations are happening less and less due to Paul's work schedule and the needs of the boys, but we are trying to make more of an effort to do this daily, as it is much needed for our sanity! It was pouring rain toward the end of their nap, so once they were up, we did snack and stayed inside until the rain subsided. At 4:30, I started getting the boys ready for photo shoot round 2, as we had gotten rained out the week before. I was a bit nervous that would happen again, but thankfully the sun came back out, and we met up with the photographer around 5:30. The boys looked so "smart" in their little outfits, and overall did well with listening while we took pictures. At 6:15 we headed back home, changed, and met up with a bunch of local missionaries at our guest house for dinner. I had met all of them last week when I did the Sole Hope jigger clinic, and when I told them how well Alba cooked, they wanted to come to dinner. So I arranged the dinner and 18 of us all ate together on Alba's patio. A couple of the women there had been through adoptions, so it was comforting to hear their stories and get their advice. It was definitely a wonderful time of conversation and sharing, and it was even better that we didn't have to walk anywhere! At 8:15, Paul took the boys inside and got them ready for bed. I came in, said prayers, kissed them goodnight, then headed back out to the dinner while Paul stayed in to work. Everyone left around 9:15, and it was really a wonderful evening unlike any I've had here to date. A bit of refreshing with people is always so nice. Once I came in, I spent the next 30 minutes going over all of our paperwork for the Embassy, and triple checked that I had everything on the list. Things seemed to be in order, so I showered, journaled and headed to bed, while Paul worked. Big day tomorrow!

J listening to music 

Sleeping in totally opposite positions then when they started...How does that happen?

Camera fun with L while J was still asleep

Thursday morning came WAY TOO EARLY. We were both a bit nervous about the Embassy appointment the night before, so we didn't end up falling sleep until about midnight. Not to mention L fell out of bed twice, which as a parent sleeping in the same room, definitely jolts you into complete alertness. We probably slept for a total for 2-3 hours, and when my alarm went off at 4am, I was on the strug. I got up and got myself ready, got snacks together and then got the boys clothes out. At 5:00, I woke them up, much to their dismay, and we got them dressed and ready. At 5:15 it was a complete downpour outside, and of course the power went out soon after it started. So we are trying to finish getting everything packed and ready in the pitch black, and the rain is so loud we can hardly talk without yelling. Additionally, we had our window open from the night before so as I walk into the bedroom to grab my purse, I step in a HUGE pile of water that is flooding in from across the room due to the rain. AHHHHH! So we give the boys a flashlight and tell them to wait by the door...I grab a towel and start blocking the water while Paul closes the window...we pat dry the floor to get most of the water up...we put our backpacks on with our rain coats over top...we each pick up a boy...I lock the door and we quickly walk/run to the car that's waiting outside the gate. By the time we get in the car, we are soaked, but I was just grateful to be in the car! The initial drive was really bad, and I was just praying in the back seat for safety. I don't know how our driver was seeing anything, but thankfully the rain started to calm down about 20 minutes in and then finally stopped. The drive to Kampala was pretty uneventful as the boys were still a bit tired from the early morning. We arrived at the Embassy around 8:30 (for our 9:00 appointment! Yay for being early!), went through security, and headed up to the consular section. We checked in and then waited for about 15 minutes before our names were called. I assumed we would be meeting in a conference room or small office to go through the 20 lbs. of paperwork I had with me (no joke. it was literally 20 lbs), but unfortunately we walked into a room that was about 5x5 with a high counter and a bullet proof glass window. Is this really necessary? We then had to talk through a speaker to the lady on the other side and passed our paperwork through a slot at the bottom of the window. It was so impersonal and off-putting to me, especially with the amount of sensitive information and discussion that needed to be addressed, but just like everything else with this process, you just press on. Once I got my bearings, we got the boys settled under the high counter, and I began to get the paperwork out and organized. We spent the next HOUR going through their files, a brief history of their pasts, how they ended up in the orphanage, reviewing the endless forms I had filled out and signed, going through original documents, going through their orphanage files, going through court records and giving them an understanding of our timeline and when we came into the picture. I was pretty nervous the whole time, but overall kept my cool, and felt I was able to give her all the answers she needed. The worst part was the 2 toddlers "swimming" all around my feet and constantly yelling, "Mommy you see!!" as loud as they could while I'm trying to talk through a speaker and bullet-proof glass :) Once we finished the paperwork, she asked me to sit and wait until they reviewed everything and she would call me back in. I heard it normally doesn't take very long, but we waited over an hour before our name was called again. This made me VERY nervous, and I was constantly praying the entire wait. Thankfully, there was a courtyard outside the consular section, so Paul took the boys out there and let them run around a bit. There were a handful of other children there as well, so they were all enjoying each other's company. Once I was called back in, she asked me to correct a couple things on one of the forms, but said otherwise they didn't see any concerns. THANK YOU JESUS! She then let me know that our Visa interview was scheduled for Monday, October 26th at 2pm, and asked for our payment for their visas and one of the other forms. $1,400 later (gulp.) we were out of there and feeling SO much relief. We headed back down to our driver's car only to find him MIA again. Seriously though. You would think he learned his lesson, but no. So we are literally sitting in a large gutter on the side of a super busy highway, below the level of the road waiting for him. Paul called him after a couple minutes, and he informed us he was just around the corner and would be back soon. 30 minutes later he rolls up letting us know that he was getting his hair cut, and he had just sat down right when we called him. We had been in the Embassy for 3 hours...he couldn't have gone right when we left?! I just don't understand sometimes. When he got back, I tried to be gracious, but we were planning to meet a Ugandan friend, Steven, for lunch in Kampala and Steven had been waiting for us for 45 minutes! Anyway, we finally get in the car and start driving and after going to the wrong mall first, we finally arrive at the correct mall at 12:45. We met up with Steven for lunch at Cafe Java and despite the boys being exhausted, we had a great time. He was very kind and has been extremely helpful to us throughout our time here, so it was a pleasure to meet him and treat him to a nicer meal. At 2:00, we loaded back into the car and began the drive home to Jinja. The boys were spent, and once we started actually moving out of traffic, we got them to rest. L slept for an hour, but J only lasted 20 minutes for his nap. He was mostly content the rest of the ride, but I was still frustrated at his stubbornness to sleep. We got home around 4:30, unloaded all of our stuff, and almost immediately went back out for coffee :) Paul and I were dragging, but we wanted to get some fresh air as we'd been in the car most of the day. Unfortunately my back had been hurting me quite a bit this week, and carrying the paperwork around the Embassy all day didn't help. So Paul carried J downtown, and I had L walk next to me as I was in too much pain to carry him on my back. It was nice to sit outside while we got some caffeine, but the boys were definitely getting antsy, so we headed back home. Once we were cleaned up a bit, I heated up left-overs for the boys for dinner and Paul and I ate some chipati for dinner. At 7:00 we gave the boys their bath, got them ready for bed and laid them down around 7:45. They were exhausted and thankfully were sound asleep by 8:00. Once they were down, Paul went to work and I caught up on some e-mails and re-organized the paperwork from our Embassy visit. I couldn't wait to get in bed, and thankfully I fell asleep very quickly. Paul and I felt like we hardly had any time to celebrate our successful Embassy visit, but are hoping we'll find some time in the next week to enjoy a little treat :)

Thursday night I again slept pretty terribly and when I woke up on Friday morning I was a GRUMP. This was the first time I wanted to be totally selfish, and I was feeling so emotionally and physically spent. Once I was awake, I made us all breakfast and we sat down and ate together. The boys were a bit wired, but overall doing well. Friday is our guest house cleaning day, so once the boys were dressed and ready we let them play while we did our weekly sheet/towel change-out and took out the garbage. A little after 10, we headed out for the morning, and since my back was still bothering me, I had the boys walk next to me as we started out. Paul had taken a Boda to go drop off our bajillion loads of laundry to get done, so I had both boys with me alone. This normally isn't a big deal, but the roads are and have been SUPER muddy from all the rain, and as soon as I saw all the puddles I knew I was in trouble. For me it wasn't as much about the mud, but more about the fact that it is very slippery and there are constantly cars and bodas zooming down the road. So we start walking down the dirt road, and the boys are not listening to me. They are running around and not paying attention, and the fear in me took over. Soon after I'm telling them to get to the side of the road, L jumps in a  puddle just as J kneels in a mud pile and let's just say, I lost my cool. I picked them both up by the arms and took them to the side of the road. After a long period of yelling, I think they got the picture, and I made them sit there until Paul met up with us again. Not only were they covered in mud, but I was covered in mud, and it took all my energy to not go ballistic on them. When Paul came back he could tell I was angry. I made him carry J on his back, and I took L by the hand as we walked into town. We started the morning at the coffee shop (go figure, right?) and I was still fuming. I really had to choose to let myself calm down, and by the time we were paying, I was more myself. Once we left, we headed again to the stores on main street and bought some gifts for people at home. It was a bit longer than we anticipated, but I was glad to check a few more things off the list. Once we got home we did our usual, lunch and nap, and thankfully the boys fell asleep pretty easily. Paul and I then ate a quick lunch together before I headed off to Ekisa Ministries to check our their facility. Ekisa is an organization that has full-time residential treatment for children with physical and intellectual disabilities (most of the children have both), and they also have community outreach programs to help families learn how to care for their children, as well as get on their feet financially. It is a pretty incredible program, and I was inspired by their vision. I had intended to volunteer with Ekisa during my time here, but it just never seemed to work out as the volunteer coordinator was very slow in getting back me. Regardless, I still wanted to see what they were all about so I hopped on a Boda and headed out. I spent the next hour or so talking with the staff and meeting the children. Their house is very well equipped overall, but they are definitely tight on space which makes it difficult. Additionally, they only have 2 physical therapists working with SO MANY children, and I could tell they were a bit overwhelmed. There is currently a PT from the states volunteering at Ekisa, so it was really nice to chat with her and hear her thoughts on their rehab needs. It was very helpful for me to see how I could tangibly assist them in the future, and I hope to be able to use my resources as a PT to help them get what they need. I got back home around 4:15, and gave the boys their snack while Paul hopped on a call for work. He was done around 5:30, but it was still raining so we had to stay inside most of the afternoon. Thankfully I had thought to blow up a beach ball I had brought with us for the pool, and I let the boys kick/throw it around the room, knowing it wouldn't break anything. They had a blast and I was thankful they were entertained for a while without me needing to be the center of attention! At 5:45 we headed back downtown for dinner, and walked mostly in the rain the entire way. The best part though was seeing the beautiful rainbow spanning the city of Jinja, and I really felt like it was God's way of telling me He was there. On a day where I was feeling ornery, tired, overwhelmed and frustrated, God reminded me of His promise to me and my family, and I once again felt empowered to press on. Dinner was good overall, but it continued to rain, and after waiting it out a bit, we knew we had to bite the bullet and just walk home. I was nervous to let L walk, so I carried him on my back which wasn't such a great idea. I was definitely feeling the pain with each step, but it was pitch black outside, raining and muddy everywhere, and I wanted to keep us all safe. We finally made it home, and I got the boys immediately into the bath, while Paul hopped on a Boda and headed back to the orphanage to get our laundry. We did a quick bath since it was so late, and poor little J hit his head on the side of the tub pretty hard, so he didn't want to stay in much longer anyway. We dried them off, got them ready for bed, read, prayed and tucked them in around 8:30. They were a bit restless since we didn't really have a ton of time for them to play after our walk home, but they were asleep a bit after 9, and I was happy to be at the end of the day :) I knew I had to go to bed early, so I spent a little time catching up on adoption correspondence, then showered and hopped in bed around 11. Showering here is such an ordeal, so I'm excited to take my first real, hot shower once I'm home. It will be glorious. I was so thankful for Paul today as he continued to be positive and helpful despite my grumpy attitude. When I am upset he always rallies for me, and I couldn't be more blessed to have him by my side. 

Ekisa Residential House and Offices

Physical Therapy Room

Rainbow on our walk into town

Rainbow over our guest house 

PJs inside because of all the rain!

Beach Ball Fun...He's had shorts on his head a lot this week...I got nothin'

On Saturday, the boys were up at 6:15 and Paul eventually got up with them around 7. He took them outside to play for a bit (unbeknownst to me as I was PASSED OUT), and when I woke up at 8 the room was silent and I was beyond thankful. I'm serious though. He's the best. I got up around 8:15 and laid with the boys in their bed for a few before we all got up. We made breakfast then all sat down to eat together. The boys gobbled up their eggs and then we all got dressed and ready for the day. I borrowed a single stroller from one of the other moms for the morning as my back was pretty sore, and we headed downtown for coffee and snack. I also wanted to check out Heal Ministries again to say hello to a few of their interns I've come to know and take a peak at their jewelry. On our walk there it OF COURSE started to rain, and we OF COURSE were unequipped with rain jackets or an umbrella. It was our own fault, but we were so far from home anyway so we just powered through. When we got there most of the kids were inside, but I was able to go upstairs and take a look at the goods and chat with a couple of the interns. At 12:35 we started the walk back home and it rained the whole way! We were pretty drenched by the time we arrived home, but worse than that was how muddy we were! We were covered all over our clothes and our feet were caked! We left our shoes outside to let the rain clean then, washed up then made lunch for the boys. Thankfully they LOVE peanut butter (I mean for real though, who doesn't?), and I've been sneaking their parasite cleanse into their sandwiches every day at lunch. WINNING. They still ask for PB every day for lunch, so it's been a bit of a no brainer. After lunch we got them ready for nap, and they both went down really quickly. Paul was feeling pretty tired, so he laid down and took a nap and I of course worked on the blog :) The boys slept until 3:30 and once they were up we played a little bit before having snack. It was continuing to rain so unfortunately we were stuck inside all afternoon. At 5:45 Paul and I were going a bit stir crazy, so we loaded up the boys and headed downtown to grab some pasta to make for dinner. The walk there was fine, but my back was really bothering me, and on the walk back I couldn't carry J anymore. I was in a good amount of pain, so while I tried to just get home, Paul carried both boys LIKE A BOSS. We got home around 6:30, I made some pasta and we all ate together. We then got the boys in the bath and since they were being so good, we let them watch a movie and eat some popcorn. They were so content for the first time and it reminded me of how much progress they've made in just a few short weeks. The boys were asleep by 8:30, and Paul and I shared a gelato while we chatted about the day. In the evening, Paul worked and I got things cleaned up and then showered and headed to bed. It was so nice to finally feel clean at the end of the day, although I know tomorrow the mud starts all over again!

Carrying my little Yankee fan down our dirt road

Paul carrying both boys. Superdad!

Movie time!

Sunday we were up and at 'em, but the boys thankfully played quietly until 7:45. Paul and I got up together and made ourselves some tea while the boys played. We then made some oatmeal for breakfast (which the boys initially hated, but now love!), and we ate together as a family. After breakfast I cleaned up and got ready for the day, then got the boys dressed and ready. We needed to get some things for the week, but my back was still bothering me, so we decided to split up. I stayed home with J and let him play, while Paul took L to the market. Since it's been raining so much, we blew up a bunch of pool toys and floaties to let the boys play with. Well this morning they were a HIT and both boys were running around the house with floaties on their arms and legs and tubes around their waist! Soon after they started using the tube as a "machine" (i.e. a weed whacker) and J could've played "machine" all day long :) Around 11:00, J and I headed outside to play with the other kids (since it wasn't raining!), although he really just wanted to stay with me. So while he sat in between my legs playing with his "motorcar", I chatted with the other moms. Around noon, J and I came in and I made us lunch. Paul and L returned soon after and we sat and ate together while we caught up on our mornings. At 1:00, I headed out to the Kakira Sugar Factory with Alba and Lindsey for lunch and a tour of the area (Alba's treat). So Paul stayed with the boys and got them down for nap, while I went out "galavanting" (as my grandma Seby would say) with the girls. Alba is 75 and shorter than me, Lindsey is 6 feet tall and super skinny, and then there was me, so it was a pretty funny sight to behold. We headed outside Jinja to the town of Kakira and entered the factory gates. It is really more like a little city inside, and Alba was able to tell us the ins and outs of the whole place! We finally ended up at this little white guest house deep inside the gates, and we headed inside to eat. We sat outside on the patio, which was a little oasis, and it was a beautiful sunny day, which made it all the more better. The down side was that the only food they had was an Indian buffet, and if you know me well, you know that I don't like Indian food and I HATE buffets. Sooo, seeing as this was Alba's treat, I filled most of my plate up, scarfed down what I could and smiled the whole way through! I'm not gonna lie, it was rough, but I was SO happy when the waitress took away my plate. On top of it, the only cake they had was a coconut tart, and once again, I really dislike coconut dessert, BUT I persevered and ate what I could before we finally paid and headed out. Once we left, Alba took us to the Jinja Nile Resort which is a beautiful little place tucked away in the jungle over-looking the river. It was absolutely beautiful and I wish I could've bottled the view because it was exquisite. At 4:00 I got back home, and L was already up with Paul. J was still sound asleep, so I went in there and woke him up, mainly so I could get the post-nap snuggles! From there we did snack, then got our shoes on and walked downtown to the orphanage. Paul and I had been wanting to take some pictures of the whole place and the kiddos, so we brought our nice camera and stayed for about 45 minutes until we got what we needed. Both J and L did NOT want to be there, and J almost refused to get out of the carrier as we walked through the gate. We finally convinced him to get down, but as Paul took pictures with L, J clung to my shirt the entire time, never letting go. It was hard to be there and see all the kids waiting for families...all the kids who just want a moment of your attention....and all the kids who have no one to love them...all the while my boys not wanting me to share a moment of my time or affection with anyone else. Overall, I feel it was a good lesson for J and L to see that we are theirs, despite all the other children who want our attention, and I was constantly reassuring J that we were not leaving him. Talk about tough. At 5:45 we headed out and I could see the visible change in J's posture and demeanor as we walked through the gate to leave. Just a couple minutes into our walk home, they both perked right back up and it was once again such an affirmation to all we've been doing. We got home around 6:15 and I made pasta again for dinner. The boys were being a bit testy tonight, but they are understanding more and more that their actions have consequences, and after we reminded them of this, they did much better. After dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen, then bath and bed. While today was a good day, I felt like I didn't get a chance to breathe as I was out with Alba during my normal mid-day "break". When I finally sat down around 9pm, I was relieved, although I still have to review their files for the Embassy before I can get ready for bed. All I can say is another week in the books, and maybe our last one! AHH!!

Alone time with J means super strong kisses!

Trying to share their pool toys :)

Kakira Sugar Factory

The view from Jinja Nile Resort...No filter

Walking to the orphanage

This upcoming week is exciting for so many reasons, and I'm trying not to get my hopes up until it's all said and done. On Monday, we are headed to the Embassy for the boys' Visa interviews, which includes some of their biological family. I am pretty nervous for this, mainly because I don't know what to expect, but I'm praying God will give me the right words to say. After we are interviewed, their biological family will be interviewed, to ensure they understand the permanence of adoption and what it all means. So if you're up at 7am EST, please say a prayer for us as we will be just starting our interviews! If all goes well, we **SHOULD** be able to pick up their Visas on Wednesday. Please Jesus! We are believing for everything to fall into place with no unexpected surprises...we are also praying that the boys will be peaceful during this time, as I know Paul and I will be nervous and it won't help to have the boys going crazy as well! This has been such a long-time coming, and I know I will feel a HUGE sigh of relief when we finally get in the car to come back to Jinja. Please be praying!

Additionally this week, Jon and Becca are coming, our best friends in the whole wide world!!!! I CAN'T wait to give Becca a great, big hug and just enjoy some familiarity of home. If all goes well, Jon and Becca will be flying home with us on Tuesday, November 3 to arrive back in Dulles on November 4. Eeek! We seriously couldn't ask for anyone better to fly home with us, and it will be such a relief to have some help during a situation that could be super stressful. We are beyond grateful to have them as friends, and we are SO excited to finally share our boys with them as well as the beautiful town of Jinja!

Once we get home, there is still a lot to get done to finalize their adoption and, unfortunately, comes at a bad time with the holidays right around the corner. Paul and I are trying to figure out how everything will fall into place, but we are trusting God to provide financially, emotionally and spiritually, in so many ways, and all we can do is have faith that He WILL provide what we need. This has been such a whirlwind for us, and we know coming home will be no different. We are, however, SO excited to finally come home and settle in as a family of four. Please continue to pray for the transition for all four of us, for safety in traveling home, for no issues with immigration, for Paul and I to be compassionate and patient during this emotionally charged time for all of us, and for God to provide all we need to be able to fully pay the expenses we will be incurring over the next year. 

Our hearts are forever grateful to you all, and we can't wait to see you on American soil soon!

Week 9...Almost there

Hi Friends,

We are definitely missing you all and the comforts of home, but we are learning to live simply and humbly, a lesson I think we should all have at some point in our lives. We are getting into the rainy season here which complicates things a little bit, but otherwise we're plugging along and making the best of each day. The boys are falling into our routine a little better every day, but we still have daily struggles. Some days Paul and I are filled with energy and patience and the difficulties don't seem so hard, but other days, when we are tired and weary, it's hard to remember how far we've come. We often have to remind ourselves that every day is a milestone and a new beginning, and regardless of how yesterday was, tomorrow will be better. Every morning we get up and say "today is a good day for a good day", and off we go. Many days I feel like I'm running on empty and that I will never quite feel rested or healthy or prepared, but then I take a breath and remember that God is on my side and despite the mental and physical fatigue, He will sustain me.

I can't believe we are on week 9. Some days it feels like we've been here for a year and other days it seems like it went really fast. There are still many things on our to do list before we head home, and we are excited to let the boys experience a bit more of their culture before they are in a world filled with muzungus (white people)!

Monday this week was a Kampala day and IOM (medical) day 1. We got up at 3:45am and got dressed and ready...we got the boys up at 4:40am and got them dressed and ready...then headed outside to wait for our driver. We were told he would be there by 5am, however he didn't roll up until 5:40. Grrrrr. I mean who doesn't want to wait outside in the pitch black with 2 toddlers for 40 minutes with nowhere to sit but on the concrete ground? Regardless, we put aside our frustrations, greeted him good morning and hopped in. The ride there was fairly uneventful since it was so early, however traffic was worse in the city so we were a few minutes late arriving (it doesn't really matter though because Ugandans are always late!). We got there at 8:10 for our 8:00 appointment, checked in, then sat down to wait. At 8:45 they took us back and did our intake. She asked us some questions about the boys, we asked her some questions, we signed consent forms and we were done. We then went back into the waiting room and waited for about 30 more minutes, before they were called back for their shots. The waiting room was outside and the boys went in 1 at a time for their Tb test and HIV blood draw. The worst part was being able to hear other children screaming before our boys went in; it definitely didn't help with their peace if mind! I went in first with L and he sat in a big chair and I held down his legs and other arm while he got his Tb shot. He cried and cried, but otherwise did great. For the blood draw, I had him sit on my lap and had to restrain him again. He did great though overall, and I gave him a dum-dum immediately after which heals all wounds! Paul went in with J, as I knew I wouldn't be able to restrain him by myself, and it was good he did. It took Paul and another male nurse to hold him down, and he screamed bloody murder at the top of his lungs! It was horrible to hear and horrible to watch, but as soon as it was over and he had his "sweetie" all was right in the world. Phew! We were done by 9:45am and headed into town to meet a friend for lunch. At 11, me, Paul and the boys had lunch with a Bishop who does discipleship training and workshops for people in the Entebbe/Kampala region. He has met my parents and their friends many years ago, and really wanted to see us while we were here. It was nice to talk with him and hear his take on the boys, and besides the chaos of having 2 really tired children out at a restaurant, we were blessed that he took the time to meet with us. At 12:15 we were back on the road to Jinja. The boys slept on us for about an hour in the car, but did really well overall. It has made a HUGE difference for just our family to be in the car. My anxiety levels have dropped significantly, and even though it's still a lot of work, it's been doable, which is all I ask for! We got home about 3pm and let the boys run around inside and out. They were pretty tired, but enjoyed being out of the car. At 5:30 we headed to dinner at a restaurant and it was a bit of a mess. The boys were so over-tired, but thankfully there was no one else there, so it wasn't a big deal. Once the food came they were happy as clams and gobbled up all the goods quickly. At 7:00 we headed home, but we couldn't do a bath as we were not allowed to get their Tb tests wet. So we did a quick wipe down, brushed teeth, book, prayers, bed. They were out by 7:45 and it was a good thing because they needed it! IOM day 1 success.

Sneak peak at a car trip. #allIwantisacarseat!

Lunch with Dr. Benjamin!

L sleeping on Paul

Home and learning how to do airplane! 

Playing their new game where they are "driving their boat" to Kampala 

Tuesday we were all tired from the day before, but we enjoyed having nothing to do in the morning. We all got up and hung out in our PJs, before making some oatmeal for breakfast. The boys were in a bit of a funk this morning and they were refusing to eat their oatmeal and spilled juice their all over the floor...twice. My patience was running thin and it was only 8:30am. I needed God to give me peace and quick! After breakfast we got them cleaned up and dressed for the day. They played inside for a bit while Paul and I got ready, then we headed downtown for coffee and snack. For whatever reason the boys love "going for coffee" (even though they only eat the snack we bring for them), but it's nice to get out of the house for us and we're grateful they get excited for small outings like this. After their snack and a bit of caffeine for us, Paul and I did some gift shopping at the local vendors. We have loved being able to support these beautiful people in a tangible way and the things they sell are really one of a kind. We weren't able to get through everyone on our list, but we got a handful of things, and at 12:30 headed back home. We gave the boys lunch before book and nap-time and thankfully they both went down fairly easy. They woke up around 3:30, but were both still groggy overall. We just lounged in bed with them for a bit before getting up for snack. In the afternoon we went outside to play with one of the other mom's biological son, who is 5. He just came the day before but was too tired and jet-lagged to meet the boys when he arrived. So now that he was rested, we went over to meet him, then went outside to play. J was LOVING kicking the soccer ball back and forth, which was such a delight for Paul. He was enjoying playing soccer with him, and this is one of the first activities J has done for an extended period of time. L was enjoying having a new friend to play with, but still often prefers to play with us :) At 5:45 we headed to town for dinner and the other couple, Mitch and Lindsey, came with us. The boys were better behaved tonight, but were still antsy overall. They ate all their food without difficulty, and Paul and I enjoyed some adult conversation during this time! At 7:15 we headed home, but since we still couldn't do a bath, we had a repeat of the night before. We had bought the boys little stuffed elephants from one of the street vendors earlier in the day, and decided to save them for bedtime, as they often get restless without us laying with them. Once we gave them to them they were SO excited and thankfully both went to sleep fairly quickly. We were SO grateful because we had to get up early again to go to Kampala and we knew they would need their sleep. That evening I worked on paperwork for the Embassy while Paul made some work calls. It's been hard for Paul and I to have any kind of quality time together as he has to work when the boys are sleeping (nap and bedtime) and I often go to sleep while he's still working away. Even though we spend all day together, the boys take up so much of our capacity, and it's been hard to have any time together. We are praying that once we're home and settled we will be able to plan in some time for us.

J playing soccer!

Coffee date! We let them play with some ice cubes (which they've never seen before).
Thank God we were the only ones in that room! :)

Wednesday was another Kampala morning for IOM day 2. We were up early and on the road by 6:30am. The drive there was fairly quick in comparison to other days, but L was SO fidgety and he was pushing the limits quite a bit. This is very different than usual, as L is normally a people pleaser. He LOVES getting things right, knowing information and showing us how well he can do things, and he HATES getting in trouble. Even when he thinks he MIGHT get in trouble, he immediately begins crying HUGE tears as his feelings are SO hurt. So for him to be consistently pushing our buttons, we knew he was way past his point of fatigue. We arrived at IOM at 8:45, but our appointment wasn't until 9:15 so we hunkered down to wait. Thankfully they took us back at 9:05 and the nurse took the boys height, weight, vitals, arm circumference and measurements. They both came back as moderately underweight, but we know that will change once they're home with us. Once the nurse was done, we headed around to the outside waiting room for their Tb tests to be checked. J went first and they cleared him right away. L however, gave them some concern, so they made some markings, measured with a ruler and sent him in to get a second opinion. Thankfully the second technician said he was fine and this momma breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. If they suspect anything from the Tb test, they make the kids get a chest x-ray and perform 3 days of sputum testing to rule it out. This would've put us back at least 2 weeks, and I was praying under my breath the whole time they were checking him out. Thank you Jesus all was well! Once their tests were cleared, we went back outside to wait to see the doctor. At 10:20 the doctor called us back and we went into a back room to see Dr. Jacob. He was super friendly and kind to the kids and he instantly made them feel at ease. He did a complete physical on both of them and then told me, "your children are healthy." It was a relief to hear he was pleased with their current state and he also put my mind at ease about a couple markings on them that concerned me initially. Overall, it was a good visit and the boys enjoyed all the attention :) We were done by 11:00 and we were excited to be heading home. We went out to the car to get in, however our driver was no where in sight. We were puzzled. We looked around but didn't see him, so we gave him a call and he said he was nearby and would be there soon. So we sat in the hot sun on the grass and began to wait for what we thought would be a few minutes. Well an hour and a half later he shows up. What the heck. We were SO frustrated and beyond upset as we were sitting in the grass, on a busy road, with no food, no water and nothing for the boys to do. It was such a disaster and I couldn't believe a few minutes to him was over an hour. When he arrived, we immediately got in the car and tried to be kind despite the want for dragon Bettina to come out. He was on the phone when he started to pull away which was probably a God send because it allowed me to calm down a bit. The ride home was difficult as we were all hungry, tired and SO hot from sitting outside in the sun for so long. It began to pour soon after we started driving, so we had to roll up the windows most of the way to keep from getting soaked. L napped on Paul for 45 minutes, but J was fighting sleep the whole ride home. I finally got him to sleep around 1:30, but 15 minutes later he was wide awake. Come on, kid! Momma wants a nap too! Paul and I both had such a headache from not eating and we couldn't wait to get home. At 2:45 we pulled into our guest house and got the boys quickly inside for lunch. They scarfed down all their food and I felt bad they were so hungry! Paul and I were seriously on the struggle bus so we put on a movie and made the boys have some quiet time. They did well for about 45 minutes, but then lost interest and it was like pulling teeth to get them to "rest." So Paul and I peeled ourselves out of bed and headed outside to play. The boys were SO tired and ornery, but there was not much to do, so we let them run it out. At 5:30 we headed to the orphanage to chat with the directors regarding some of the paperwork we need for the Embassy. We ended up being there over 45 minutes, but it was a good conversation and I was pleased with their answers. To be honest, Paul and I were a little concerned, as this was the first time we brought the boys back to orphanage for more than just dropping off our laundry. We didn't know how they would respond or what they would think, so we made sure to sit them down and explain that they were not staying there, and they would be coming back with us as soon as we were done talking to "Uncle William." Thankfully, our hard work was confirmed as they wanted nothing to do with that place. They refused to play with their old friends, they refused to go see their caretakers, and they refused to leave our side. It was SO confirming for us, and Paul and I realized that all the tears and hardship and difficulty IS paying off, as we have 2 beautiful SONS who love us and want to be with us. My heart was full. At 6:30 we headed back to our guest house, as our landlady was making us dinner. The boys ate so well (and so did we!), and I was glad to not have to walk anywhere. We headed back inside around 7:15 and did a bath before their bedtime routine. They were so tired and were both out by 8:00. We were so grateful they went to bed easy because we were both still fighting headaches, and to be honest I was just plain grumpy. It was all I could do to shower, journal and get in bed. Paul worked until after midnight, and I felt so bad there wasn't more I could do to help him. I'm so thankful for his sacrifice and provision for our family. I'm a blessed lady. 

Beautiful view on our drive to Kampala

L getting his Tb test checked. Very official as you can see!

L "taking pictures" while waiting to see the doctor.

J sitting on me while waiting to see the doctor :)

Their physicals! They're so cute in their little undies!

Waiting outside IOM for our driver. So frustrating.  

Movie time!

On Thursday Paul got up at 6:45 with the boys and I joined them at 7:15. I still had a bit of a headache, but took some ibuprofen which seemed to help. Once we were mostly awake, Paul made eggs for breakfast, then I got the boys dressed and ready. At 9:15 we headed out the door as I was volunteering with an organization called Sole Hope, and Paul and the boys were going to walk with me to their location. The boys were so sweet that morning, and as I hugged and kissed them goodbye, I knew I would miss their little faces throughout the day. Paul braved the boys alone for most of the day...running some errands, going for coffee, playing outside, running on our dirt road, making them lunch and putting them down for a nap. Superdad. For real though. He's a keeper. I on the other hand headed out to a remote village about an hour from Jinja and helped Sole Hope with their weekly jigger clinic. Jiggers are small bugs that burrow into your feet like ticks and then lay eggs which hatch and continue to spread throughout your body. They live under the superficial layer of dirt here in Uganda, so children and elderly who don't wear shoes and have poor hygiene, end up highly infested with them. They are terribly painful and literally eat away at the flesh of your feet. If you're brave, google image jiggers and take a peak. It's pretty disgusting so look at your own risk! We arrived at the village school around 11am and a handful of us volunteers sang songs with the kids, while the jigger team set up shop. The school was huge, I would say 500+ children, and there was no way to see them all. The Sole Hope team had asked the school to choose 100 of the most severe children and we would see them for the day. It's hard to imagine teasing out kids to help when there are so many who need it, but realistically there was no way to see them all in one day. (The team plans to go back to help more children at a later date!). The rotation in place was that the children got their feet and lower legs washed really well, then they were carried to a jigger removal station (so their feet didn't get dirty), then the jiggers would be removed with...umm, wait for it...safety pins and razor blades. After they were removed, the feet were washed again, then bandaged up with neosporin before heading to the shoe station to get fit for a pair of shoes. 97% of the children in the village don't have/wear shoes so this is HUGE for them. The whole program is so genius, and if you're so inclined, donate! They are doing amazing things for these people, and are really working hard to help the marginalized. In Uganda, jiggers are a stigma and people believe you are cursed if you have them. Therefore, children who get them are often not allowed back home because the family feels they are cursed. It's terrible. Sole Hope works hard to erase that stigma, to show it is not a curse, but a bug that is CURABLE. I mean talk about being the hands and feet of Jesus. I felt put to shame. Anyway, I started out by washing the children's feet. I sat on the ground and one after the other I scrubbed their little feet with soap and a scrub brush to get all the layers of dirt removed. After about an hour of washing, we rotated jobs as it's pretty hard on your back. Once I was done washing I went to the documentation station. For this, I sat behind one of the jigger removers, and documented on a piece of paper where they found jiggers. At the end of the removal, you tally the jiggers then send them over to get fit for shoes. While documenting was easy, watching the jiggers being removed was hard. These children were SO BRAVE and I literally did not see a single one cry. Did you read that? These children were getting their feet poked and prodded with safety pins and razor blades and not a single one cried. It was crazy. It was such an awesome experience for me and I plan to do it at least 1 more time before we head home. Once the 100 children were done, we packed everything up and drove back to Jinja. When we got back to Sole Hope's location, I got a tour of their grounds, saw where/how they make the shoes and met the team behind the project. It was an amazing day and I felt so humbled to serve those beautiful children in a tangible way. As a plug, I plan to do a shoe cutting party when I get home this Fall, so if you want to be involved, let me know! It's a great way to help these children get shoes and all it takes is $10 and some scissors. More details to follow! :) When I got home around 3, the boys were still sleeping and Paul was working. I hadn't eaten all day, so I ate a quick bite and then snuggled the boys when they got up. I sat with them while they ate their snack, as Paul had to finish some work calls. In the afternoon, we went outside again to play with the other children and both boys had fun running around, playing with cones, playing soccer, swinging the jump rope and just being kids. At 5:45 we packed up the boys and headed downtown for dinner. It was a more difficult dinner for us as the boys were a bit wired, and our service was very slow which made it all the more difficult. At 7:40 (eek!) we finally left, and decided to forgo the bath as we were running so late. We got the boys cleaned up and into bed by 8:15. L fell asleep fairly quickly and by 8:30 he was asleep. J on the other hand was so wired, and didn't end up falling asleep until 9:30...after Paul laid with him to get him to settle down. I've said this before, but it's such an emotional process for us, and ending the night this way is always more difficult. Paul had to work pretty late so I showered, journaled and hopped into bed while he was up well past midnight. As I said last week, buy him a burger or something. He deserves it.

Coffee date with daddy! This is such a typical picture! hahaha

The view from Paul's walk with the boys

Arriving at the village school!

Friday was a fairly good day, but I had a very challenging night with J, probably one of the worst yet, and I definitely hit an all time low emotionally. In the morning we got up and ate breakfast together then got ready for the day. Fridays are house-keeping days for our guest house, so we always have to change out our sheets, change out our towels, sweep and take out the garbage. So once we were dressed, we let the boys play in the room/listen to music while we got the cleaning done. At 9:30 we packed up the boys and our laundry and walked to the orphanage to drop it off. We then headed downtown for some coffee and let the boys have their snack. It was a REALLY hot day, so Paul and I were definitely feeling the fatigue of walking with the boys on our backs. However, we had a lot of errands to run, so we geared up for the day. After coffee, we walked down to the local market to get some fruit. Once we had everything we wanted, we headed to the grocery store to get a few things for the boys' snack. By that time it was 12:00, so we walked the 30 minutes back to our guest house, unloaded the groceries, then made lunch. They were hungry and thirsty from the heat, and they scarfed down all their food without a problem. We got them ready for nap and laid them down around 1:10. J actually went down fairly quickly once I laid with/on him, but L was more restless and didn't go to sleep until 1:40, after I laid with him as well. They only slept until 3:00 (there was a man cutting steel on the property and it was SO LOUD), but we made them stay in bed and have quiet time until 3:30. Once they were up, we did snack then headed outside to play with the other kiddos. The other families have been receiving not great news, so they were all in a bad mood and not in a great mental state. Because the mojo was so bad, Paul and I loaded up the boys at 4:50 and headed out for a walk. We stopped by the orphanage on our way to pick up some paperwork and make sure everything was in line for next week, then headed downtown for dinner. Paul had a 5:30 work call, so I hunkered in with the boys at the restaurant while he went outside to talk. It started out alright with the boys excited but contained, but then got bad quickly. J was just being extra defiant and so I brought him on my lap for discipline. He then proceeded to freak out (per the usual) and while he's screaming on my lap, everyone is looking at me and staring. I gave L my phone to watch some videos since I was alone, and he very contently watched while I spent the next 30 minutes disciplining J. It was one thing after the next with his aggression, and if Paul wasn't outside on the phone, I would've packed up J and left. I was just so frustrated and angry and it took all my energy to muster up some compassion and remember that he is just a hurting little boy who is going through a lot of change. It was all I could do to not burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant. When our food came, J had finally calmed down enough to sit by himself, but continued to be defiant overall. Over an hour later, Paul re-joined us and by that time I was ready to go. Paul scarfed down some food while I took the boys to the bathroom, then we loaded them up and walked home. I fought tears most of the way, and all I wanted to do was curl up on my couch at home in my favorite sweatpants and have a good cry. But seeing as we had a 20 minute walk home in the dark with a 38lb. toddler on my back that wasn't going to happen. Plus all we have here to sit on are plastic lawn chairs, so it wouldn't be quite the same :) Once we got home, we brushed our teeth, while I got the boys' bath ready. Paul was watching them in the tub while I put the laundry away and got their bed ready. Unfortunately J was continuing to not listen, so we pulled him out of the tub and made him sit with me on his bed until L was done. I was trying to keep him calm and contained, while he was getting more upset, and the whole time just praying over him. Once again he started to get a bit aggressive, and I hit rock bottom. Instead of being compassionate and patient, I simply burst into tears and couldn't stop. I spoke to J through my tears, not knowing if he's understanding anything I'm saying, and reiterated how much I loved him, but how much it hurts when he does what he does. I was literally pleading with a 4 year old to stop doing what he was doing. Mom of the year I know. It was clear he didn't know what to do, and when Paul and L came in to see the scene, L also froze in his tracks. After I was done talking to J, I just went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet seat lid and sobbed. Big, heaping, huge sobs. A minute later, J opened the bathroom door, just staring wide-eyed at me. While I was crying little J rubbed my head (that's how they say sorry here) and said, "Sorry, mommy. Don't hurt mommy." My heart melted. I had never felt so raw. At that point, I just hugged him to me and sobbed into his little body. I literally didn't know what else to do. Once I let him go and composed myself a bit, we both headed back into the bedroom and finished getting ready for bed. I hugged L too, because he was clearly worried, and I assured him I was okay. Together Paul and I finished getting them ready for bed, but I continued to fight tears the rest of the night. We did their book, prayers and tucked them in with their little elephants, and off to sleep they went. Once we finished cleaning up, I just cried while Paul held me, and together we debriefed and then prayed over our children. It's been such an emotionally charged journey, but I believe we will see a breakthrough with J before we come home. We are on the brink of something HUGE and while I can't always tangibly see the pieces coming together, I know God is moving on our behalf. While I felt weak and awful for sobbing in front of my children, I know it was something that needed to happen for both of our sakes. For the pain I feel and the pain they feel. For them to see that I am just a human and even mommies need to cry sometimes. I know God hears my cries, and as I continue to trust in Him, he WILL redeem their lives. On a ridiculous note, the night ended with a bang as we had no hot water, even after having our switched turned on for over 45 minutes (we have to turn on an outlet that heats a water tank outside our room. It takes about 30-40 minutes for it to warm up so you have to be proactive in remembering!). So after such an emotional night, I took an ice cold shower (which was miserable), then journaled and hopped into bed. All I could do was laugh at that point. Onward and upward!

Not sure what's going on here, but this happens all the time :)

They were "taking pictures" together. Be still my heart.

Jman "driving to Kampala" for food :)

Saturday morning I woke up exhausted from the night before and the boys were up and at 'em at 6:30. Paul helped them go to the bathroom, then gave them some books to read while we laid in bed a little bit longer. At 7:15 they were raring to go, so we all got up and started getting ready for the day. We made eggs for breakfast and after 2 huge water spills, we finished eating our eggs. The boys played inside for a bit while Paul and I got ready. They were pushing chairs around like a "strailer" (really a stroller, but now they mesh trailer and stroller and call it a "strailer"), and going "beep, beep, beep, beep." Their imaginations are great and I hope that stays with them forever. At 10:00 Paul took them for a walk so I could have some quiet time, as we had another episode this morning with J, and I was feeling spent. Paul went to get us some coffee and gave the boys their snack before heading back to the house around 12:15. I again took this time to read my Bible, pray, worship and just rest. While I still felt emotionally and mentally tired when they returned home, my heart and head were in a better place which is exactly what I needed. God has a way of refreshing you when you spend time in His word, and that's what gives me the ability to continue this crazy, amazing journey we're on. Once the boys got back, Paul and I made them lunch before getting them ready for their nap. It had been raining all night, and the skies were still gray and overcast which helped with the ambiance of the room, and the heat! The boys were extra snuggly when we laid down and it was nice to have some calm time with both of them. They went down by 1:30 (which is GREAT!) and slept until 3:30. Yay! Once they woke up we gave them snack, then got them changed and ready as we were headed off to a photo shoot! There is a another adoptive mom here who came for the adoption of a very sick little boy, but has now also taken on a 6 year old girl with Type-1 diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is VERY rare in Uganda and it's a shock she was even diagnosed! Their family's story is incredible, and if you have a minute you should check out their blog at Grace and Salt. Anyway, the adoptive mom, Keary, is a professional photographer and is offering photo sessions here in Jinja to help raise money for the adoption of their little girl. I have been following her for quite some time, and we have been in contact since being here, and Paul and I have really felt led to support them. So in the afternoon we met them at their guest house, then headed down to the road to start our photo shoot. When we arrived it was sunny and beautiful, with the sun starting to go down; perfect for pictures! Then all of a sudden we started getting HUGE gusts of wind, then it almost immediately started pouring! It came so fast and so strong! We picked up the boys and starting running back to the guest house in the pouring rain. Once we got under shelter we dried off a bit then took some pictures in the rain. Who knows how they turned out, but we were already soaked so it didn't matter :) We went inside soon after and just waited for the rain to subside. Unfortunately the power also went out, so we hunkered in for a little while. Around 6:15 the rain finally started easing up, so we packed up the boys and started walking home before it got too dark. The roads were a muddy mess and filled with debris, so it was quite the walk home in our sandals! We skipped a bath since the power was out at our place too and with the sun setting at 6:30ish it was already pitch black when we arrived. We decided to skip going out tonight, and I made a simple meal of pasta with meat sauce, while Paul got the boys cleaned up. We all sat down and ate together, and it was nice to be in our own place without the worry of disturbing people or making a scene. After dinner we played a little with flashlights, because what kid doesn't love a flashlight, then got the boys ready for bed. They finally went down around 8:30, and I was happy they were asleep, because it was a crazy afternoon! Thankfully the power came back on before we went to bed, so we weren't without the fan! Thank you Jesus. All in all it was a good day and I look forward to seeing some of the pics of our family!

Getting in some much needed Jesus time

Sunday was Paul's 30th birthday!! I really had nothing for him, so I tried to do as much as I could to give him a much needed break for himself. I woke up early with the boys so he could sleep in, and let him lounge as long as he could. The boys don't really understand birthdays as they've never celebrated one, so it was a hard concept to explain :) Regardless, L sang Happy Birthday to Paul with me, and you could tell his heart was happy. Once Paul was up, we made breakfast together then got the boys dressed and ready for the day. They played inside while Paul and I got ready, and at 9:45 we headed out for a walk. It was a REALLY hot day, so we were thankful to have the stroller in the morning. We walked downtown to get some coffee and let the boys eat their snack. The restaurant was PACKED, for whatever reason, so we let the boys eat, but Paul and I got our drinks to go. We walked around downtown a bit, then took the long way home to just enjoy being outside. J was being very difficult on the walk home, so Paul ended up hanging back with him quite a bit while I kept walking with L. We were both trying not to get frustrated and I felt bad that Paul was having to work through all of this on his birthday. Toward the end of our walk it started to rain again, so we skedaddled, and got home just before it started to pour. By that time it was noon, so I made the boys lunch and sat with them while they ate. After lunch we got them ready for nap and I laid with them, while I sent Paul out to get a massage. I recently heard of a small place in town that's clean and good, so I thought it would be the perfect middle of the day treat :) The boys were up a little before 3, and I got them their snack before we FaceTimed with my oldest brother and his family. The boys were still kind of tired, but they did well and they enjoy seeing everyone's face on the computer :) In the afternoon, we went to Arise Talents which is a local organization, founded by a Ugandan artist named Dickson. His mission is to teach children to paint, sing, dance, craft, etc in order to get them off the streets and help pay for their education. He is an incredibly talented man, and it was such a pleasure to see his work in action. We drove out to Arise at 4pm and after a tour and brief talk with Dickson, the children sang and danced for us! It was such a wonderful "show" and we were SO blessed by them! You could see the joy all over their faces, and it is such a privilege for them to have someone like Dickson in their lives. We were taken <3 After their performance we got to look at their artwork, which was impressive for such young children! Paul and I bought a few paintings, and you could tell how proud the children were of their skill. We stayed and talked with the children until after 6, and the girls were so sweet. I was smitten with them, and they literally didn't stop hugging me until we were walking out the gate. I plan to go back one more time to see them, but also to give them most of the clothes I brought with me. They need it much more than I do, and I know it will go to good use. We got back to the guest house around 6:30, and it was again starting to pour, so we stayed in and I heated up left-overs from the night before. The boys were pretty tired, so dinner was a bit drawn-out, but they ate all their food and were PUMPED for a bath :) Every night bath time is SO exciting for them, and while Paul and I hate the clean-up after, it's fun for us to see their smiling little faces while they splash away. Boys will be boys. They went down quick tonight from all the days festivities...even with a ridiculously loud music festival blaring through town. It literally sounded as if it was in our room. They seemed to be un-phased though, and I was grateful because they needed some sleep! Paul and I had planned to go to a nicer restaurant in town to celebrate his birthday, but with the weather and the time we decided to hold off. I felt bad we didn't get to do anything special for him, but the kids at Arise Talents did serenade him with their happy birthday rendition for about 10 minutes! Mission accomplished, I guess :) 

My girl pack for the afternoon!

Paul and I with Dickson!

This journey continues to stretch us and mold us in new ways every week, and even when I find myself questioning if I can even do this, God ALWAYS gives me a glimpse of hope that allows me to keep moving forward. I can't imagine going through something like this without God. This has been, by far, the most challenging thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding. Watching these boys slowly transform from sad, isolated, and fearful to joyous, rambunctious, and imaginative has been the most beautiful unveiling of God's faithfulness. I know as we continue to love them and provide for them, their wounds will continue to decrease and their hearts will be full. Paul and I couldn't be more blessed to be their parents; even when the road is bumpy and there is no reprieve in sight. God has called us to adoption. To these boys. To this country. His plan to make J&L our sons has been so evident and we know without a doubt that they were hand-picked for us. We are definitely feeling weary and tested, but as I wrote in my journal last night, we serve a mighty, gracious, faithful, compassionate, and loving God, and He will get us through.

At this point we don't have any new idea on timeline. We have submitted everything we need to at this point, and are now just waiting for the Embassy to receive the boys medical paperwork, to which they will then contact us for our first of 3 embassy visits. We are praying to get in this Thursday for the first one, but if not, it should definitely be the following Monday. To be honest, we are in no rush. We are trusting in God's timing, and making the best of our time here in this beautiful country. I know I sound like a broken record, but thank you again for all of your kindness and support through this process. Without the friends and family we have, this would be almost unbearable! We are so grateful for each and every one of you. Here's to week 10!

xoxo,