Updates and Confessions

Hi All,

We can't thank you enough for all your prayers and support. We've had so many sweet gestures of gifts for the boys, financial support and words of encouragement, and I want you all to know that IT DOES NOT GO UNNOTICED! 

A couple weeks ago, Paul and I went home for a "toddler shower" thrown by our family. It was wonderful to celebrate the lives of our boys as well as get some wonderful goodies I know they will love :) It was a beautiful party filled with friends, family and great food! It was nice to just take time to enjoy this time in our lives without feeling the overwhelming stress of it all. A huge thank you to Rachelle Sebastian, Lucy Sebastian, Tiffany Sebastian, Carol Stevens and Dawn Dell for taking the time to shower us!! Below are a few pics for your viewing pleasure :)

Excitingly, we recently received a CD of 280 pictures of our boys! Needless to say we have looked through them countless times, and it has been such a joy to see them grow over the years. We were able to share these pictures with our families while we were home, and it was such an amazing experience to see their excitement :) We are still unable to share their pictures publicly at this time, but we can't wait for all of you to see their sweet faces! They're SO CUTE!

As for an update, we are {supposed} to travel before July 15. In Uganda the courts close every year from July 15-August 15. Our orphanage director has said our lawyer in Uganda is pushing to get all of the open cases completed before they close in July. THAT'S US! If we don't travel before then, we will have to wait until August before we can go before the judge. With all of that said, please continue to pray for us. We NEED them! Pray that our paperwork will be processed quickly by the courts and we will get our court date SOON! Pray we get placed with a good judge who will hear our case soon and we will get our written ruling BEFORE July 15. Pray for this HUGE transition we are about to go through and that God will continue to give us peace. Additionally, we're still anticipating another $12,000 to complete the process, so keep an eye out for our fundraisers coming up! ;) We still have a long road ahead of us, but we are excited for the journey!

On a more serious note, I've been having a really hard time with the wait. I'm sure every adoptive mom has gone through this phase, however I feel like it just continues to intensify. Over the last month I've been trying to keep my anxiousness at bay with preparing the boys room, getting our house ready, making packing lists, making lists for my packing lists, shopping for items we need to take to Uganda, working, making furniture and the list goes on. All the while my heart is longing to be halfway around the world loving on my babies. I've been folding their laundry, organizing their toys, painting their room, building their beds and imagining all the memories we will make once they're home. My heart already loves them unconditionally, and it's been such a privilege to get a small glimpse of God's heart toward us. Mother's day was hard for me. To be honest, I've never thought about what it would be like to be a mom on Mother's day, but this year was so bittersweet. I already feel like a mom in my heart, but to the world I'm not quite there yet. It was difficult to know they are there waiting for us, and we can't (yet) be with them. Every day I wake up with a new excitement and a new hope, believing that we will soon know when we will get to meet them, but we continue to wait. Everyday we pray for them. Everyday we love them more. Everyday is one day closer. But it's still just so hard. I've realized that we can't do this without God. I've had to learn to relinquish my rights, my control, my thoughts and my emotions to Him everyday. I've had to learn to trust Him completely and know that His timing is perfect. But it's still just so hard. I know God is loving, protecting and providing for our babies, and at this time I have to trust that that's enough.

We will keep you posted as we know what are plans are, but please continue to keep us in your prayers!

We Love You,

The Wait

Hi Friends,

So many of you continue to ask for updates of when our boys will be home, and unfortunately we continue to not be able to answer your questions. TRUST ME when I say that we are also eagerly anticipating their arrival, but all we can do is trust God and wait. 

Through this process, I am continually challenged by the amount of patience it takes. I have some days where I feel calm and am able to full rely on God to take care of the details...and then there are days when I feel like I'm going crazy and the day to meet them will never come. I wish I had more details to give, I wish I could tell you all exactly what date we will be leaving, I wish I could tell you their favorite color or food or toy...but I can't...and that's the reality of adoption. We love children we've never met and they've already become an integral part of our family despite living halfway across the world. Every night I look into their room and picture our boys in their beds fast asleep. I dream about all the memories we'll make, the fun we'll have and the craziness that will ensue. I can't wait to hear the pitter patter of their feet in the hallway and the sound of their laugh from their bedroom. 

People continue to tell me how much our lives will change once they're here, and how we should cherish all the time we have just the two of us. I agree and understand where they're coming from, but I honestly can't wait for our lives to change in this way. We've been told countless times how lucky the boys are to have us as parents, but in reality I think Paul and I are the lucky ones. These boys have seen worse things in their 3 years of existence than I have in my whole life. They have struggled and cried with no one to hear them and have never known the love of a mom and dad. When people tell me how much our lives will change, I think about how much our lives will be BLESSED by the addition of these two amazing little boys. I think about how even though our lives will be turned upside down, the thought of being able to take in these two, precious lives and let them love us as much as we love them will be priceless. All of the crying and worry and anxiety and waiting will be completely worth it, because it means these boys will have a family and we will get to be their mom and dad.

So while we continue to wait, we pray for their lives and well-being from across the world. We pray that God will love them, care for them and provide for them even when we can't be there. We pray that their hearts will be ready for a family, and that we will be knit together by love and the sheer grace of God. Adoption is crazy and messy and hard but worth every minute.

Thank you all for your continued love and support. We couldn't do this without you and we can't wait to share all the details as soon as we know them :) We covet your prayers and we look forward to watching God's plan unfold.

With Love,

THANK YOU!

Dear Friends and Family,

We want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to all of you who donated to our March Madness fundraiser! 

We raised $7,200!! Yes, I did just write $7,200!! 

I feel like we've said this a million times before, but words cannot express our true gratitude for the outpouring of love and support that we continue to receive! The financial side of adoption continues to be daunting and overwhelming, but every day we learn how to trust God a little more, and He continues to be so faithful in His provision. 

As of right now we are $500 away from meeting our next deadline, which will be due in the next month. After that we are still estimating another $12,000-$15,000 to complete the process. These later fees include airfare (to and from for us and the boys), Visas (for us and the boys), paperwork fees required by the US Embassy, medical exams, vaccinations, medications (for us and the boys), passports for the boys, lodging, food, and drivers while in Uganda, post-placement reports once we return to the US (done by our social worker who did our home study), and finalizing the adoption of the boys in the US (when they will officially become Stevens!!). So with all of that said, your contributions are not in vain - when we say every dollar counts - we mean it!! We thank God every day that He will multiply these gifts, not only on our behalf, but on YOUR behalf as well. We can't tell you how much your support - whether financial or emotional - means to us. Knowing that so many people are on our side - praying, loving, and giving to us - helps us to keep moving forward and follow this call on our lives.

This journey is challenging us and growing us in new ways every day and all we can do is continue to trust God and know that somehow He will help us accomplish the task of bringing our sweet boys home!

Thank you to all of you who continue to partner with us in this process! We couldn't do it without you!

Love,

Dossier Complete!

Hi Friends!

Quick Update...

We have been waiting (and waiting and waiting!) for our approval from USCIS for one of our forms, despite the fact that our Dossier (i.e. 8.5 lbs of paper!) has been complete for over a month. We were supposed to send it all together once we received our approval from USCIS, but after many calls and delays we decided to send it without it. We are happy to announce that we mailed our dossier without the approval on March 18 and 3 days later (8 weeks in total waiting!) we received the approval from USCIS (phew!). 

That same week we received a call from our orphanage director letting us know that she will be leaving for Uganda on March 27 and will personally carry our dossier over to Uganda (this will save us hundreds! praise the Lord!). Additionally, she let us know that she will get us updated pictures and measurements for the boys! We can't wait to see new pictures of their little faces! 

Despite the wait, we are trusting God to give us His peace and allow us to use this time to draw closer to Him and each other. We pray for our little ones every day and we know God has them covered :) Giving over control is easier said than done! ;)

Please continue to pray that the next phase of paperwork (court documents, boys' investigations, etc) continues to go smoothly with no delays. We have already begun reviewing/signing documents for court, but we know there are many more to come. We continue to ask God for His favor and we trust He will bring us wisdom throughout this process.

On another note, our March Madness Fundraiser is going well and we have raised 40% of our $10,000 goal! We are continuing to believe for God's divine provision as our $11,000 deadline is quickly approaching. After this submission is complete we anticipate another $12,000-$15,000 to complete the rest of our adoption (flights, lodging, food, drivers, passports, visas, post-adoption placement reports, finalization of adoption in the U.S. etc). These numbers are always so daunting and overwhelming and scary, but we know God is bigger than all of this and nothing is impossible with Him on our side. 

We can't thank you all enough for your continued love, prayer and support. Please continue to partner with us in this last leg. We can't wait to complete our family and be able to share our little ones with you!

We love you,

My Heart

Hi friends, Bettina here...

All of our blog posts up to date have been news, progress and excitement, and while all of that is true and genuine, there are more times of anxiousness, unrest and disappointment. Over the last few weeks these feelings have intensified and I thought I'd share a little glimpse into our process...

Most of you have children and know the unconditional love that goes along with that. Parenthood is hard and challenging and awesome all at the same time, but the love you have for your children outweighs all the rest. Well adoption is the same, except that it's long and hard and messy and awesome before you even bring your children home. I think in our case people don't understand how we can love these children we've never met; how our lives can be turned upside down when they are not even here in the United States with us. I understand where they're coming from, and to be honest, I may have thought the same thing before we started this process...but now I know. Now I understand the ache and sadness and anxiousness that accompanies this unconditional love I have for my boys whom I've never met. There are times when (for example just last night), my heart is so full that I can't help but cry at the thought of not having them here in our arms. Not being able to protect them or feed them or love them like they should be loved. I know God can do this WAY better than me, but the wait and anticipation of this process is a killer. Adoption is not pregnancy. So many people have equated the wait time for our adoption to the gestation time of a baby. I understand the connection, and while I've never been pregnant, it doesn't quite feel the same. During pregnancy you are constantly reminded of this little one growing inside you; they are moving and changing...and you are growing and changing. With adoption there is excitement, enthusiasm and strength, but all throughout a constant fight to defend who you are as a person, why this is important to you, why we wouldn't just have "children of our own", do we make enough money, is our house "approved" to bring them home, are WE approved to bring them home, and the list goes on. I've never in my whole life had to defend who I am and why I want to help these children than I have in the last 9 months. The truth is I already love these children and I'm believing and trusting God everyday to bring them home to us. We're believing for things to go smoothly with no delays or hold-ups. I ask God everyday to give me peace and calm this ache inside me to have control over the whole situation. I've realized in all of this that I have no control. That our adoption is in God's hands and our boys are in God's hands. That every time I read an update or a change in the country that brings me instant fear, I turn it over to God AGAIN because without Him I'd be an absolute mess (and by that I mean worse than I already am!). 

Every week is a roller coaster of emotion and I try my hardest to keep it all together. On top of the emotion of loving my boys who are halfway around the world, there are 100 e-mails to answer, paperwork to sign, logistics to work out, and fundraising to do. I've spent countless hours trying to figure out how this adoption is going to get funded, and the thought is SO daunting. While people have been beyond kind, supportive and generous, there is always this underlying concern of, "where will the next $10,000 come from?", "how are we going to afford the plane tickets?", "how are we going to pay our mortgage and live in Uganda with 2 children for 2-3 months?", and the questions go on and on. 

Just when I think one phase is over and things will get easier there is something else that gets added to the pile. For example, now that our paperwork is done, I have moved on to applications for adoption grants which seem to be just as long and tedious as the paperwork itself. It's again challenging who we are as people, who we are in God, and basing a grant award on how we answer these questions. It's infuriating. Why does it all have to be so hard? Why does it all have to be questioned as if we're doing this with a malicious intent? Just when I feel my emotions can't get any more out of whack...BAM...we get another request for more information...NOT an approval and the waterworks start. I don't say all of this as a complaint or that I'm ungrateful, because I'm not. This process has strengthened my relationship with God, my relationship with Paul, my faith and my strength and for that I am forever grateful. Additionally, this would not be doable without God and the constant support of our friends and family, who have been invaluable in our process. I say this because this is the reality of my day to day. This is what I feel in between all the excitement and progress and what makes it all so hard. I say this to allow people to understand that without God this wouldn't be possible.

My heart is SO full of love for these children and for Uganda and I'm constantly trying to figure out a way to help be a part of the change and not add to the burden. I've realized God put this on our hearts for a reason, and while these children are the main event, I know God has something bigger in store in all of this. Our lives have been turned upside down and inside out, and I am learning to trust God in EVERYTHING and wait on Him and His timing.

Thank you to all of you who are praying for us, supporting us and loving on us. Your support is invaluable and I can't tell you how much good it does to hear kind words of love and encouragement. Every day is a challenge, but it's also one step closer to bringing our boys home. God is faithful and we will rest in that until they are home.

Love to you all,

March Madness!

Hi friends!

We want to thank so many of you for your kind words and support after the announcement of our referral! We are overjoyed and overwhelmed at the thought of these two little boys, but we can't wait for them to FINALLY be home with us.

Since our last post we have gotten all of the paperwork and biometrics complete from USCIS and are now waiting for paper approval from the Department of Homeland Security. Once that is received we will be sending our dossier to our agency for one last review before it is sent to our lawyer in Uganda. Once that is complete we will be in a holding pattern until they submit it to the Ugandan courts for us to receive our first court date. 

Needless to say, we are both a little anxious, but are trusting that we have God's favor and blessing on this entire process. Our adoption mantra has been Hebrews 10:23 which states, "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." We speak this out every day and trust that God will take care of the rest. Each week is an emotional roller coaster and it is definitely not easy, but we know God has called us to this place and we find peace in that knowledge. 

We will be sure to continue to keep you posted on any updates, but please continue to partner with us in prayer as we dive into the next phase of this process.

With all of that said, we are again in need of your help!! 

In honor of the NCAA tournament, Paul and I have decided to do a little March Madness of our own! We are aiming to raise $10,000 in the month of March for our adoption. We have a large financial deadline coming up, and we know with your help we can meet that need! If everyone who read this donated $20, and then shared it to allow a friend or family member to donate $20, we would be well on our way to meeting our goal! We need 500 donations to meet the $10,000 goal and therefore we will only achieve this if you share it with as many people as you know! As an incentive, anyone who gets 5 people to donate will get a Stevens Party of Four T-shirt (see pictures below - while supplies last)! 

Ways to donate: 

1) Paypal (use link on the right side of the blog)

2) Project Hopeful (tax deductible)

3) Mail cash or a check to:

Bettina Stevens

2092 Avinity Loop

Charlottesville, VA 22902

If you refer a friend, please make sure they include your name for referral in the memo so we can count it toward your free shirt, or if you prefer, you can collect all the donations and make one large donation!

We couldn't do this without the support of our friends, family and community and we thank you for all of the love and support we've already received! 

Please continue to help us fill these shoes!

 With Love,

Updates and News!

Our Dear Friends and Family,

Happy New Year! We pray you had a wonderful holiday season filled with family, friends, food and laughter! 

We apologize for the delay in posts! Our fall leading up to the holidays was very busy, but we have been diligently working on our paperwork! With that said, we are happy to announce that almost all of our paperwork is complete! Here's the low down:

1) Home Study - At this time we are in the final review of our home study. It has already been reviewed by 3 people at our home study agency and was just sent to our referring agency for their review and comments. When that is complete it will be finalized by our home study agency and then sent to our state department for authentication. 

2) Dossier - The dossier paperwork on our end is complete and has been reviewed for errors. We are still waiting on a few items from our home study agency to submit to our referring agency, but we are almost there. Once our home study is authenticated it will be sent to our referring agency to add to our dossier.

3) USCIS Clearance - Once our home study is complete we will send a copy to USCIS with our immigration form (which is essentially our petition for adoption). At this stage we will also need to be fingerprinted one more time before final approval. After the home study and form is reviewed, and we are cleared by our fingerprints, it will be sent back to us with a notification of approval. 

4) Once all of these steps are complete, our dossier (which includes an authenticated original of our home study) will be sent to our lawyer in Uganda. His office will then review the paperwork and submit it to the Ugandan courts. At which point we will be waiting to get assigned a court date to go get our kiddos!

In other news, it is with great joy that we let you know that we received our referral!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

In adoption talk, that means we got matched with our children!!!!! 

At this time we are unable to share a lot of details, and we ask that all information shared on this blog remain confidential. We also ask that no information be shared through social media (Facebook) for the protection of our adoption. 

Now that the boring stuff has been said, on to the exciting news! 

We have been matched with 2 boys!! They are "bonded siblings" which means they have grown up together since they were very little and know of each other only as brothers. Because they are so close, our orphanage has agreed to only adopt them together, which makes us very happy! They are both 3 years old (5 months apart!), which gave us initial hesitation, as we did not expect twins! 

When we first received word of our referral, we were concerned with the closeness of their age due to the education we had received from other families who have adopted. We asked our orphanage director if we could take a few days and pray about the boys before we made a final decision. She agreed and asked that we give her a decision in 3-5 days time. 

For the next 3 days, Paul and I fasted and prayed and asked God specifically for a "no" if these were not to be our children. Well after our 3 days were up, neither of us had heard anything. Well if you know me (Bettina) at all, I am not one to move forward without being 100% certain. With that said, that evening I went to bed and asked God to give me a dream, a vision, a word, or anything to show me these were our boys! Let's just say God kept His end of the deal! That evening I went to bed and I dreamed of the boys in our house, then I dreamed of them as teenagers and then I dreamed of them as adults. It was incredible :) So needless to say, the next morning I told Paul my answer and we immediately notified our orphanage that we wanted to officially accept our referral!!

Since that time, life has flown by! We have been planning and dreaming and preparing for these 2 little ones to join our family this year! At this point we still don't have a firm timeline for travel, but we are expecting to head to Uganda this summer. Once our paperwork is submitted to Uganda, we should have a better time frame, but it is still very up in the air. We will be sure to keep you all posted!

While this is a very exciting time for both of us, we still have a lot of preparation and prayer ahead of us. Even though the paperwork and social worker visits were stressful and invasive and time consuming, it will not compare to what we will be up against while in country. At this time they are estimating we will be in Uganda for 6-12 weeks in order to get all of the documentation completed in order to bring the boys home to the United States. Let me break it down for you (roughly):

Step 1: Arrive and meet our children!

Step 2: Attend court for child 1 - wait for written approval from the judge

Step 3: Attend court for child 2 - wait for written approval from the judge

Step 4: Go to the passport office to apply for the boys' passports - wait for their passports to be completed (I've heard a range of 4 days to 7 weeks! yikes!)

Step 5: Once we receive their passports we can take them to get medical exams

Step 6: Go back to the medical office 3 days later for their Tb test to get read - wait for them to send the results to the US Embassy

Step 7: Make a "document check" appointment at the US Embassy - attend and fill out/revise any paperwork needed

Step 8: Make a VISA appointment for the boys at the Embassy to be approved for their US Visas (Still unsure if this will have to be done in 2 appointments)

Step 9: Come home!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see there is a lot that needs to be done, and unfortunately there is no rhyme or reason to time frame. We are believing for a quick process, with no set backs, delays or additional requests needed. Please join with us in praying for a good judge, a quick retrieval of our written court ruling, and a quick passport process. If these things are completed in a reasonable time frame, it will cut down our time in country significantly. Thank you in advance for your prayers and support!

Until that time, we are planning to get their room ready and try to learn how to parent two 3 year olds! :) We got some outfits from our family over the holidays and it's been exciting to start shopping for them little by little! 

On the financial side of things, we are continuing to thank God for His provision. We needed another $7,500 dollars by the end of the January and we are blessed to say we have that in our account ready to submit! Up to this point, all of our needs have been met at every deadline, but we still have about $20,000 left to raise. Our next large submission will be a month before we travel to Uganda, and the rest will be needed while we are in country. We are praying that Paul will be able to stay for the whole time we are there (it would only be for financial reasons he would need to come home). We are concerned with the thought of paying our mortgage, paying rent and food in Uganda and adding 2 little ones, but we KNOW God will provide. He has been SO faithful to us every step of the way and this will be no exception. 

If you're interested in donating we still have a tax deductible option through Project Hopeful. You can access our link here: http://www.projecthopeful.org/matched-families/stevens-family

We also still have our paypal account that can be accessed on the home page of our blog. 

We are planning to do a few more fundraisers this Spring, but are still trying to determine what they will be. We will keep you posted!

Wow, that was a lot!! 

We can't thank all of you enough for your continued prayers, support and financial contributions. We could not do this without the love and support of our friends, family, co-workers and community, and we are beyond blessed at the outpouring of love we've received.

We hope you continue to follow along on our journey and we will be sure to keep you apprised of updates!

Here's to a great 2015! We love yous!