Week 7...Frustrated

Hi All,

A big thank you to all of you who continue to read my posts each week. I can't tell you how much we value your words of encouragement, and we hope to hear from more of you soon (wink wink)! This week was frustrating in so many regards and even our best efforts seemed to go unnoticed. We were pretty disheartened early in the week, but we've been trying to put our best foot forward and realize that we really have no control over the situation. We are trusting God with EVERYTHING and believing that He will intervene on our behalf. I was battling sickness most of the week, and I was in tears many times at the frustration I was feeling; trying to parent in Africa with no comforts from home, feeling miserable, having to walk miles and miles in the heat while carrying one of my boys on my back. It was just so hard and I think I shed more tears this week than I have the whole time we've been here. J&L were also not feeling well this week with runny noses, cough and diarrhea, so we were quite the sight to see. It was extremely trying for our temperaments and emotions, but thankfully we made it through and we are believing for better next week!! Now for the play by play...

On Monday we were told to be ready to go to Kampala by 7:45 with the boys to pick up our passports!! We were PUMPED. It was 2 weeks from our interview to pick-up, which is great! Some of the families before us waited 4+ weeks, so we were thrilled! However, our excitement turned to misery quickly and it is safe to say that Monday was the worst day we've had to date. We arrived at the orphanage at 7:45 and 1) the boys weren't ready yet, 2) they hadn't eaten breakfast, and 3) I was told at 8am that they had "misplaced" L's original birth certificate. I'm sorry, did you just say the birth certificate we need for EVERYTHING is no where to be found?! Deeeeeep breath. It literally took all my energy to not just freak out. So while the boys were getting ready, I helped look for L's birth certificate through files, bins, boxes, etc. No luck. Sooo they gave me a copy and let me know that they will keep looking. Additionally, Lindsey was *maybe* coming with us to get her son's passport as well, however that morning the director was adamant she go too. Sooooo I call Lindsey, she shows up at 8:45, and the van goes from just the 4 of us to 7. At 9:30 we FINALLY hit the road and drive the 2+ hours to Kampala. The boys were generally ok in the car, but once again, I HATE the drive, I HATE that the boys are not safe, I HATE that you have to be on constant watch that no one is slamming fingers in the window or being thrown into the seat when we slam on the breaks (this happens all the time as there are really no traffic laws!), or dropping someone else's toy out the window, and the list goes on. I literally dread it. Halfway through our trip Lindsey gets a call from the director telling her we need to stop by the lawyer's office first so we can pick-up some paperwork. So after that stop, we arrive to the passport office by noon and gear up. Once we arrived we call A, who's been our contact, and she tells me to wait under the white tent. Now when I say we arrive at the passport "office", it's really not an office at all. It's a series of tents all facing different directions that all have a different purpose. You are outside the entire time with hundreds of other Ugandans, and just waiting in a "cue" of people to be called. So now that you have a better picture, we were told to wait behind the white tent. About 20 minutes later she calls me to come to her office and I meet her (in a building!) to hand her our forms. We then go back outside under the white tent and wait again. About 15 minutes later, she calls me over to another tent and lets me know we can come and wait under the green tent. So we gather up the boys and head to the green tent, where we sit down and wait. This tent is where the passports get handed out, so we thought we were almost done. We wait while they call everyone's names but ours, until finally they get to the last 3 and I hear L and J's names get called. So we walk up to the a man with a GIANT book...I'm talking HUGE...and he shows us the passports and then asks us to sign them out with our contact info. So I do exactly as he says, and then he tells me, actually, you need to talk to another man who does adoption passports. So again we sit and wait for 20 minutes, with the boys starting to get antsy and no man coming to see us. Then all of a sudden they cover up the tables with a cloth, and tell us we need to go wait back under the white tent because they are going to lunch. WHAT?! Soooooo again we gather up the boys, walk back over to the white tent, and feeling completely disheveled, we sit on a large pile of dirt behind the tent, as there were no seats to be found. At this point the boys are tired, hungry grumps, and we're doing everything we can to try to get them to calm down. Finally, about 30 minutes later, they signal for us to come back to the green tent to chat with the adoption guy. So we gather up the boys and walk back over to the green tent where Paul gets them settled and I go to chat with adoption guy. Right off the bat he is rude and quick tempered with me, and asks me to hand over my paperwork. I, trying to be kind, ask him what paperwork he's referring to. He begins to yell at me a list of documents that we have ALREADY SUBMITTED with our initial application. So I begin to explain to him that we have already given all of those documents when we applied, and we did not have them with us today. Well he basically told me he didn't care and to figure it out, then walks away. At this point it's been over 2 hours and we are all exhausted. So we walk back over to our pile of dirt behind the white tent and set up shop while I call our lawyer and orphanage director for guidance. They both tell me that they will have our driver go pick up the needed documents, deliver them to us, and then we can re-submit them to adoption guy. So again we wait and wait and wait, until finally I see our driver and he hands me the envelope we need. Praise Jesus. We walk back over to the green tent to see adoption guy and he refuses to make eye contact with us. I mean seriously, come on. He knows we're there waiting. We are the only white people around. Yet he refuses to acknowledge us. So at this point I am furious and I stomp my little 5'1" self back over to A's office and ask her to PLEASE walk my paperwork over to adoption guy. So thankfully she agrees, and we walk back over together to the green tent, where she leads me into adoption guy's building and hands him our paperwork. Adoption guy, still refusing to acknowledge us, continues to do whatever he's doing, before he finally looks up at us. He immediately begins to yell at me saying that what we gave him was insufficient as he needs the written ruling...the whole time talking to us as if we are the stupidest people on the planet, and continuing to not make any eye contact. Once he pauses, I kindly explain to him that we were told by people IN HIS OFFICE that we only needed the court order and not our written ruling, and that again everything here is what we submitted initially and they did not tell us of a problem. He again yells at me that "this is not his problem", takes our paperwork and leaves. I immediately begin to shed silent tears as I try to figure out what to do. Our passports were visible. I saw them with my own eyes. I gave them everything they asked for. But still no passports. So I again call our lawyer and the orphanage director, who both say that our written rulings are not done yet and we should just come home. So after 4.5 hours outside on our dirt pile, with 3 adults trying to keep it together and 4 toddlers not keeping it together, we gather our things and walk back to the van. We were all exhausted, angry, sad, and frustrated but there was nothing to do but head back to Jinja. The van ride home was terrible once again, and poor little J was sick which made his temperament even worse. He was so over-tired and irritable and the entire 2 hour ride home was a constant battle. Thankfully L fell asleep on Paul for most of the ride home, but J was screaming and wailing and flailing and kicking and hitting and anything else you can think of. I was already exhausted and while trying to console my 4 year old, I cried silently the whole ride home because the day could not have been any worse. We got back to Jinja close to the boys' bedtime so we said our goodbyes and then headed home. We ate a small dinner, then came home and had a good cry. As frustrating as everything was, we were more frustrated that we went through it all for nothing. We made no progress. No steps forward. No passports. Needless to say I pounded a good amount of chocolate before heading to bed a little early and trying to sleep it off. Woof.

The only picture I took all day...L sleeping on Paul

Tuesday we woke up exhausted, almost as if we had taken sedatives. It was all we could do to get up and get ready, and we prayed for energy as we walked to the orphanage. We picked up the boys at 9:30, and it was clear that J was feeling worse than the day before. Our original plan was to go have them play at Heal Ministries, but instead we went and got coffees before heading back to our apartment. We played inside and out, letting J rest when he needed to, but kept everything pretty low key. We did our usual mid-day routine and headed in for nap around 1. They both fell asleep pretty quickly and slept for over 2 hours. It was clear they needed it, and we were happy to have them back on a normal schedule. In the afternoon we decided to stay close to home and just went outside to play. J watched a weed whacker next door for most of the afternoon, as he was still in a bit of a daze, and L enjoyed having all the toys to himself :) We dropped the boys off at 6:15, headed to dinner and then back home for the night. 

J watching the weed whacker ("Machine") next door

J watching the video of the machine on my phone while he rested :)

Wednesday we were supposed to receive our written rulings from the Judge, but it unfortunately was a no go. All I can say is that it's in God's hands. On a different note, we had some friends from Charlottesville, Scott and Megan, arrive early in the morning (5am), and it was SO nice to see some familiar faces! After they arrived, we got them settled in, tried to sleep for another hour or so, then got up for the day. We picked up the boys at 9, headed downtown for coffee and errands, then came back to our apartment around 11. The boys played outside for an hour or so until Scott and Megan were up, then we came in to meet them and all ate lunch together. We got the boys down for their nap around 1:05 and L slept until 2:45 and J until 3:20. Poor little guy was still getting over being sick. During their nap we sat outside and just enjoyed catching up with Scott and Megan. In the afternoon, we carried the boys on our backs and headed downtown to show Scott and Megan the lay of the land. The boys loved having other people here and L was hamming it up! At 5:15 we headed back to the orphanage and we all played with the kids for about 45 minutes. All the kiddos LOVED having 2 new faces to jump on and love on, and it was apparent Scott and Megan felt the same way :) We were all hot and tired and sweaty by the time we left, but it was well worth it. Those faces make your heart melt! We all headed to dinner downtown at one of our favorite places, and enjoyed a leisurely meal with good conversation. On our walk back home, we heard some traditional worship music coming from the middle of a field near-by and all of us decided to go check it out. After a bit of walking, simply following the music, we found the church and decided to sit in on the service. The church was called Christ Commission Ministries and despite being the only muzungus (white people) there, we settled in to a middle row. We enjoyed the music for a while, even though a lot of it was in Luganda, and were able to worship despite the language barrier. When the worship was over they brought up a guest speaker from Kampala who was going to be speaking for the evening. His English was great, and we all felt led to stay, so we hunkered in for the possibility of a long haul :) The sermon was SO good and so applicable to our lives, and the speaker himself was so dynamic and eloquent in his words. Toward the end he began to speak over people, and he called all 5 of us muzungus up to the front. He spoke awesome words over all of us, especially Scott and Megan, and it was so clear that we were supposed to be at that service. God is cool like that :) We didn't get home until after 10, and we were all pretty tired from the day, so we parted ways and headed to bed. It was a good day. 

Scott and Megan!!

Our shadows :) The boys love seeing them!

Walking downtown with J on my back

Paul, Scott and Megan Helping push a broken down van

Letting J&L walk down our dirt road

Thursday we ate breakfast with Scott and Megan, then headed to the orphanage to get the boys by 9:15. The stroller at the orphanage has been broken so Paul and I have been carrying the boys on our backs EVERYWHERE. They LOVE it and it's nice to have some free arms, but it's exhausting to walk all day with the addition of 35 lbs. Somehow we're making it through :) After we got the boys ready and on our backs, we walked downtown to grab some coffees then headed to the local market to let Scott and Megan see the sites. The walk is pretty far, but we enjoyed chatting with them, and they also did some shopping along the way! Afterwards we took a leisurely walk back home, popping into different shops for them to peruse the goods. The boys did very well overall, but were definitely starting to get a bit antsy at the end, so we parted ways and headed home. We gave the boys lunch then did our usual afternoon routine before nap. L went down quick at 1:05, but Jman was on the fritz and didn't fall asleep until 1:45. No good. Also, our break was interrupted a few times by a poopsplosion from L (still half asleep!) and J up and about multiple times. I know J was SO tired that day, but he was fighting sleep and I knew it would be a tough afternoon. We finally got J out of bed at 3 (to not wake up L) and had him come sit with us. He was still being so irritable, and it was taking all of our patience to keep him calm. L slept until 4, which was crazy, but this momma was SO happy he got some good sleep! In the afternoon we walked over to Heal Ministries by the lake to let the boys play. It was later in the day than usual, so there weren't as many of their children around, and our boys enjoyed having so many new choices of toys! Most of our time there was spent by L "driving the car to Kampala" and J getting food and drink for us to have. Paul would steer them around the lot, and then they would return and say, "Mommy this is Chapati for you! Auntie Megan, juice for you!" and so on. It was SO sweet and I loved how much they were using their imaginations :) We left Heal at 5:45 and walked slowly back to the orphanage. Both boys were more sad than usual to leave us today, but we gave them lots of love and they seemed to do okay as we walked out of the gate. It's so hard to drop them off, but I know God has them, and at this point that's all I can count on. For dinner we headed to a local restaurant called Park Villa that cooks all Ugandan staples. We were a little nervous to try it, but we had heard good things, so off we went! The food we had was delicious, and for $2-3 each ,we got more food than any of us could eat in one sitting! Between all of us we had chicken, goat, posho, beans, matoke, sweet potatoes, greens, rice and pumpkins. Say what?! Next time we will share plates :) We walked off our dinner on the way home and then got some homemade ice cream from our Italian landlady :) She makes 4 different flavors that she has on hand and they are all delicious! After we finished our ice cream we sat outside with Scott and Megan and talked until after 11 when the rain came. It was so nice to have friends on African soil, and we enjoyed having some adult time as compared to the normal routine :)

Walking to Heal Ministries 

J flying to America! He loves wearing sunglasses!

Driving to Kampala ;)

Daddy helping them out :)

Friday morning I woke up not feeling very well, and I had a sore throat, swollen glands, a stiff neck and a headache. Unfortunately you can't really stop for sickness around here, so I took some meds, said a lot of prayers and geared up for the day. We ate breakfast at 8:30 then headed to get the boys. It was a beautiful morning, so we walked over to the Jinja sailing club to watch the boats. We were the only people there, which was so nice, and the boys enjoyed having 2 more people to add to the mix! We spent the morning just enjoying the cool breeze from the water, feeding some ducks, and counting boats. It's the simple things in life. We left the sailing club at noon and walked back to our apartment for lunch. On our way back we saw 2 monkeys very close to us in a nearby tree and the boys LOVED it...so did Scott :) We watched them run up and down the tree for a while, before finally heading home. Scott and Megan headed downtown for lunch and we headed home for lunch and nap. The boys ate well and were so much happier today and I was grateful because I was feeling so poorly. Once they woke up we did snack and then headed outside to play. I was feeling too sick to go anywhere so we sat on the grass and played with their toys for a couple hours. Lindsey joined us with her 2 boys, which made it a bit more chaotic (as all of the boys typically want the toys that aren't theirs,) but all in all it was a good afternoon. We headed back to the orphanage at 5:45 and said our goodbyes. We also checked in with the orphanage director, as he was expecting our written rulings, however he updated us that the rulings were written, but not signed, so they are still not valid. Sigh... He told us he hoped by tomorrow or Monday to have the signatures completed. And with that another week bites the dust. With a bit of disappointment, we headed downtown for dinner, and by this point I was really feeling bad. I ate very little for dinner and mainly just rested on the table while everyone else ate. Toward the end of our meal, a storm was brewin', so we all hopped on Boda-Bodas to get home before the rain came. It was a nice change of pace from all the walking, and I was glad to not get stuck in the down-pour. In the evening, I began to have a slight fever and chills, so after my shower I curled into bed and just tried to relax. After taking everything in my medicine cabinet (natural and not!), my headache started to feel better, but I was still racked with chills and so uncomfortable. I finally fell asleep around 10:30 and was able to sleep mostly through the night. My fever broke, thank God, but it was just an all around hard day. 

Walking down to the Sailing Club

J watching the boats!

L deep in thought

 

Feeding the ducks!

Looking at Megan's pictures

On Saturday, I woke up feeling mildly better than the day before, but still extremely tired, congested, sore throat and cough. I didn't want to miss seeing the boys, so I decided to borrow a stroller from one of the other moms to make our walking more bearable. We ate breakfast with Scott and Megan then we all walked to orphanage to get the boys. We had made plans to go to the pool, and the boys were pumped! Thankfully Megan was a collegiate swimmer, and has taught years of swim lessons, so she was a huge help to us the whole morning. The boys were hesitant initially, but we were able to get them both in the adult pool and the did great kicking, blowing bubbles and jumping off the sides. They did leaps and bounds better than the last time we went, and it was so encouraging to see their fear subside in such a short time. Go J&L! At noon we walked home and got the boys ready for lunch and nap. J was being especially difficult this afternoon (I think because he was SO excited from the morning and over-tired from the week), but it took a lot of patience and consistent discipline for him to finally calm down. He was definitely testing our limits!! Unfortunately, it still took J over 25 minutes to fall asleep, but L was out fairly quickly. They slept until 3ish, but I was hoping they would rest a bit longer as this momma was still on the struggle bus. We gave them snack and then headed outside for a bit before FaceTiming with my oldest brother and his wife. The boys were a little shy, but are definitely warming up to the idea of technology, and it was fun to see them interact with my 3-year-old niece Gia :) After chatting with our family, we went back outside and the boys played in the grass for a little over an hour. Scott and Megan joined us, which the boys loved, and it was nice to have a quiet afternoon. We dropped the boys off at 6:15, and the kids were already going inside to eat. So we said some quick goodbyes, and hustled out while they were distracted with food. I always hate leaving them at night, but I know it's only temporary, and prayerfully this week they will be ours for good! We went back to our apartment for dinner and our landlady, Alba, cooked us a wonderful Italian meal. The 4 of us ate and enjoyed the cooler weather that comes with the evening. Alba even joined us for a bit and regaled us with stories of her husband and how she came to Uganda. It was so sweet to hear her share about her Ugandan husband and you could see her face light up as she spoke. We are hoping for more times like this because in the end, life is really just about people, and it's been our privilege to share in their lives. After dinner we sat outside and talked until after 10, and Paul and I have enjoyed having some comforts from home in Scott and Megan :)

J "reading" to Scott and Megan

Walking down our road

A huge Marabou Stork right next to our apartment. Yes that is a pile of trash it's standing in

Sunday was tough. I was still feeling very lethargic with minimal energy, hardly any voice and a persistent cough and it was SO HOT. And when I say hot, I mean just sitting in the shade you are still sweating. We ate breakfast with Scott and Megan than headed to the orphanage to pick up the boys. They were dressed a little nicer today, and they both looked so "smart." We decided to go back to Christ Commission Ministries, where we went Wednesday night, for their 10:00 service. However, once we arrived it was apparent they were still in the middle of the first service which started at 7:30am! Yes, you read that correctly. So we sat down thinking it would be over somewhat soon, however at 11:30, they finally wrapped up the first service and began the second. So since we caught most of the sermon from the first service, we stayed for the second service worship then headed out around 12:15. By the time we got home I was feeling fairly poor, but I rallied to get the boys lunch and then get them down for a nap. Well at 2:10 a full hour after we started trying to put them down, they finally went to sleep. We've been having a lot of difficulty with J when he gets upset and after 20-30 minutes of wailing and screaming and aggression, he finally fell asleep on Paul in the kitchen. Poor little love has been so off this week and we have been continually praying that he will be peaceful and simply let us love him. He fights tooth and nail on so many things, but when he finally gives in, it's beautiful. Paul and I just want to cry because we love him so much, but it's been hard to be consistently patient and compassionate when you just want to cry. So with the boys down at 2 we let them sleep until 4 and then gave them a quick snack before heading to the sailing club. We had been wanting to take a boat ride to see the source of the Nile river, so Scott and Megan came with us, and the boys were definitely excited for their first boat ride. We were on the water for about 45 minutes and it was so beautiful and relaxing. We saw so many different species of birds as well as otters! It was a really fun experience, and we were thankful we got to have this "first" with the boys! At 5:45 we started the walk back to the orphanage and arrived around 6:15. I had almost no voice at this point, so I hugged and kissed the boys to the max before we headed out. Most restaurants are closed on Sundays, so we decided just to get some street Chapati and chicken and make our own wraps. It was good choice and we were enjoying having a low key evening with great food. We got home around 7:30 and just sat outside and talked (I mostly squeaked) until late in the evening. Overall it was a good day, but I'm believing I will continue to feel better and better this upcoming week. 

Street Meat!

This week we are believing that we will get our written rulings on Monday, pick up our passports on Tuesday and go to medicals the same day. Most of the time they will not do the Tb test on the same day you make your appointment, but we're believing we will have favor with their office so we can make some progress this week. If we can't go to medicals on Tuesday, we will have to wait until Monday of next week which will delay us another week. Please pray things continue to move along and that everything will come into alignment. It's been so hard to be dealing with all of this while being so sick and I've definitely been feeling the weariness with the added stress. Please also pray for the boys to have peace and no fear or anxiety. They are truly adjusting SO well to us, but when they don't know how to express their emotions it seems like all hell can break loose. We ask that you continue to partner with us and pray for their little lives and hearts (and if you have time, ours too!). We know God will continue to knit our family together, and it's been beautiful to see his handiwork already. Here's to week 8!

Love to you,

Week 6...Tired

Well this week was big in a lot of ways, but Paul and I are feeling whooped! We've had some great moments and then some really bad ones, all the while trying to keep our composure when we really feel like breaking down. I was fighting sickness most of the week and it made for long days in the heat. I had 3 migraines in addition to a sore throat and cold symptoms, but am thankfully starting to feel better. I've been a little more homesick over the last week and have definitely been missing friends, family and Fall! It's hard to have so many emotions day to day without your friends to gab to at the end of a hard day. I've been journaling my thoughts a lot and reading by Bible every morning to keep my mind peaceful, but it's just not the same as sitting on your best friends couch and having a good cry. I look forward to making up for all this time once I'm home ;) 

This week was also our first week with the boys more "full-time" and overall they did well, but it was a challenging transition for all of us. We have been used to having some down time in the middle of the day to re-group and re-charge, but we lost that time with the boys napping at our house. Don't get me wrong, we are THRILLED to be at this stage and LOVE having them here, but since we are currently living in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, we have to be pretty silent the whole time they're napping because everything creaks and echoes SO LOUDLY! Additionally, I used to try to nap when they did so I would feel refreshed for the afternoon, but with them in the bedroom, I don't want to wake them up trying to get under the mosquito net and into my rickety bed, and it's just too hot to get comfortable without the fan directly on you. I tried to nap at the table the other day (I was seriously that tired), but my arms fell asleep completely and I found myself more frustrated when I woke up...so with that, no more afternoon naps for me :( Typically Paul and I are just hot and sticky while we sit at our tiny kitchen table for 2 hours trying not to make a sound. Paul is normally working which takes up most of the table, and I sit there trying to figure out something productive to do that doesn't make a lot of noise. It's actually quite comical. I wish you could see the full picture of what I mean...because I seriously can't make this stuff up. Ok...my rant is over :) 

On a positive note, I will say that we are trying to enjoy every day, trying to love on the people of Uganda as much and as often as we can and trying to take in all the nuances of our boys and this place. We know these feelings of frustration are temporary and we know they will pass, but this week when we've been feeling extra tired and a bit defeated, it's hard to keep that in perspective. We know God is with us and as we continue to follow His plan, we know our lives will only get better. With each passing day we are so blessed by our boys, and despite the hard times, we are realizing how valuable each life is and how God has truly called us to this season.

Here's a glimpse at Week 6...

On Monday we picked up the boys at 9am and then took a long walk before heading to the Sailing Club. We were the only people there which was really nice and we sat and watched the boats sail by while sitting in our Gazebo. L LOVES that word and finds it hysterical to say :) He's very proud of himself for not only knowing what a gazebo is, but knowing how to say it! At 11:30 we walked back to our guest house and gave the boys lunch. They normally eat Ugandan favorites for lunch, and I was a little nervous with how they would do with my peanut butter sandwich idea, but they LOVED it and were literally licking their plates when they were done :) We paired that with a banana (which they could eat about 10 of in one sitting if we let them!) and we were golden. At 12:30 we got them ready for their nap and after a book and prayers we laid them down to sleep. They were SO excited to be sleeping in a big bed and with all the newness of the day I thought they would never go to sleep. I laid with them for 15 minutes or so, but after seeing their persistent alertness I knew this wasn't going to work. Soooooo, I may or may not have bribed them with a "sweet" if they went to sleep ;) Judge me all you want moms! It worked like a charm and thankfully they were asleep by 1:50. They normally sleep until 3 at the orphanage, but I let them sleep until 3:30 and then Paul and I woke them up as not to totally mess up their routine. They were groggy and droopy eyed, but enjoyed still being at Mommy and Daddy's house :) After they woke up a bit we did snack and then FaceTimed with my parents so they could "meet" the boys. They both did so well (to our surprise) and were hamming it up for my parents. J was definitely shy to begin with, but once he warmed up, he was good to go. It was so sweet to see. When we were done we went outside to play and the boys enjoyed some bubbles, squirt guns (another mom brought them and our boys LOVE them even though they need 2 hands to figure out how to shoot it!), tag and jump rope (really just swinging it around, because let's face it, trying to teach a kid to jump rope is REALLY hard!). At 5:45 we loaded them into the "trailer" (stroller) and headed back to the orphanage. Neither of them wanted to leave, but they both seemed to understand we would be with them again tomorrow. It was comforting to not see them freak out as had been the previous norm. Nap Day 1: Mostly Successful

Marabou Storks near the lake on our walk...Ugandans call them Kaloli which means "ugly" :) They are SO big, almost as tall as me!

Nap time :) It's so cute that they're in the same position :) We put their legs on the bed after the pic, don't worry :)

Tuesday they were both fairly irritable when we went to pick them up, and the whole morning was a roller coaster of emotions from both of them. We decided not to do an activity and instead we ran some errands around town. We needed more data for our hot spot (life saver!), Paul needed a haircut, and we needed some bread and bananas for lunches. So off we went! Getting the data for our hotspot was quick and straightforward, although it's a fairly long walk, so we let the boys be grumps in the stroller while we walked :) Finding a place for Paul to get a haircut, now that was interesting. We ended up at this little hole in the wall place off a side street downtown, and it was exactly what we wanted. I gave the boys their snack while Paul got his hair cut...and by haircut I mean cut, brushed with 3 different types of brushes, then precisely trimmed, followed by a hot towel wrap, and a neck and head massage. I'm sorry, are we at a spa? It was SO comical, but awesome, and I had to stifle my laughter multiple times at Paul's clear discomfort. In the end though, his hair looks great and it was worth the entertainment! From there we grabbed our groceries and headed to a local coffee shop to get some energy. The boys colored and did some puzzles (not quietly I might add!) and Paul and I enjoyed a quick iced coffee for ourselves. It was heaven until I felt puzzle pieces being hurled at my head and I quickly came back to reality :) Once we settled the boys down, they did better and we stayed until 11:45 before heading back home. Nap routine was about the same, but a little smoother today and the boys were asleep by 1:05... Praise Jesus! They slept until 3:15 and I was so thankful because they definitely need it! Nap Day 2: Success! In the afternoon we again just went outside to play. They seem to really enjoy this time, and it's nice to see them get more comfortable each day. This is the first time they actually have things to call theirs that don't need to be shared with 50 other children at the same time. You can tell how much they treasure the things we brought, and I can't imagine their reaction when we get home! After a good afternoon, we dropped them off at the orphanage at 6:10, said our goodbyes and headed off to dinner. It's been hard to take them back each evening (for all of us!), but we have to continue to be patient until we get the written ruling from the judge. However, my patience doesn't mean my heart isn't breaking for the confusion that must be going through their minds...All I can do is give them to God. 

Paul's haircut :) Don't mind me creeping...I couldn't hide, there were mirrors everywhere!

Wednesday was challenging from start to finish, and if I were home I would've made myself a good cocktail (or 2!) and settled in with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. The day could literally not end fast enough and Paul and I were both so frustrated throughout the day. It started off with a bang as I woke up with a migraine. We had made plans to take the boys to the pool, so we loaded up everything (towels, floaties, swim diapers, regular diapers, shoes, snacks, water, the whole 9 yards!), and prepared for the day. Since we were so preoccupied trying to make sure we didn't forget anything, it wasn't until halfway through our walk to the orphanage that we realized we didn't eat breakfast and we brought no snacks for us. Grrr. Oh well, we continued onward and upward and persevered. Paul and I were carrying everything we brought (because it's not like we just hop in a car and go), in addition to a standing fan we bought when we first got here, that has since broke into 3 pieces and the motor fried. Greeeaaaatttt. Well on our walk the fan broke a 4th time to which we just added more pieces into our pockets and kept walking. When we got to the orphanage Paul dropped off the pool stuff, and I stayed to get the boys ready while he went to try to "return" the fan. Long story short the people at the store were so rude and Paul left without a new fan and even more frustrated than when he arrived. Additionally, the weather began to get pretty chilly and it was very overcast and threatening rain. Soooo after carrying all our pool stuff with us, we abandoned that plan and after much deliberation, decided to try "Creationz Kidz Park" (I kid you not that's the real name). We had never been there, but it's basically a large patch of grass that has kids play equipment, so we thought we'd give it a go. There was no one there and it was clear we were intruding, but the owner was nice and let us stay for a while anyway. J is infatuated with "machines" (weed whackers, generators, motors, you name it) and there was a man trimming the grass while we were there (and by trimming I mean they literally cut huge areas of grass with a weed whacker. There is no lawn mower involved. It's crazy.) Well even though we paid for the kids to be there, J sat in the stroller and watched the weed whacker for over 25 minutes before finally getting out to play. We could've gone anywhere for that! :) L was enjoying having free reign of the playground and it was sweet to see his excitement. Toward the end of our time, the owner let the boys get on a "real" bike and Paul helped them ride around the grass while they pedaled. It was definitely new for them, but they LOVED it, and it melted by heart to see their joy. I know now what to get them for Christmas! :) When we got home they were much more defiant with their nap and it took a little while to get them down. They finally fell asleep at 1:20 only to be woken up at 2 by the neighbor doing work in his yard with the LOUDEST "machine" I've ever heard. Both boys wouldn't go back to sleep and I knew it would be a challenging afternoon. Nap Day 3: Fail. Both J & L were so irritable once they woke up and were behaving so poorly that most of the afternoon was spent disciplining them. I know they were both overtired and that was most of it, but J definitely acts out of impulse with aggression, and we've been diligently working through it every day since we arrived. He is getting better, but this afternoon was particularly terrible, and I could've just cried the whole time. Additionally, Paul had a call for work in the middle of our afternoon, and I was struggling to give attention to L while trying to keep J calm. It was just an all around bad time. At 5:45 we loaded them up in the stroller and walked back to the orphanage. By this point I was SO spent and I could've gone to bed right then. We said our goodbyes to the boys and it was clear they didn't want us to go. So we scooped them up and stayed a bit longer before heading out to dinner. Praise Jesus Wednesday was over!

Creationz Kidz Park :)

"AERO-PLANE!!"

Giant Swing!

Deciding where they want to fly! They chose Kampala :) Mommy was pushing for Hawaii!

Riding his bike!

"Merry-go-round"

Thursday morning Paul and I resolved to make the best of the day even though we were still feeling exhausted from the day before. We took some time for ourselves in the morning, talking and praying together, before heading out to get the boys. We got to the orphanage at 9:15 and they were SO excited to see us. We got them changed and ready, and since the weather was back to normal, we decided to try the pool. We walked a ways to Hotel Paradise and paid for the pool pass for the day. The boys were so excited to go swimming (even though neither of them have ever been!), and the whole walk there they were telling anyone who would listen, "we are going to swimming!" It was too cute. When we got there they were hesitant to get in, but clearly curious. Thankfully the hotel has a kiddie pool, so Paul and I got in first and then carried the boys in with us. Initially they refused to let go of our hands, but little by little they got more comfortable and by the end they had each dunked their heads (but only once...that was enough adventure for 1 day!). At 11:45 we packed up and headed home for lunch and nap. After a peanut butter explosion, a juice explosion, and 1 banana on the floor, we cleaned them up for the 3rd time and headed in for nap. L went right down and was asleep in 5 minutes or less. J on the other hand was clearly over-tired and it took 30+ minutes before he went to sleep. This momma was ready for a nap of her own! Thankfully it was quieter in the middle of the day and they slept until after 3. Nap Day 4: Success. Thursday afternoon we stayed inside for a bit since we had been in the sun all morning. The boys typically do well for a period of time, but then definitely need to head outside to run it out. They were much more well behaved this afternoon, and I was so relieved because I couldn't have done another afternoon like the day before. I'm finding their attention span for activities is slowly increasing, but they still require a lot of redirection to keep a calm demeanor when they get flustered. It's been hard to get them to settle in to sitting activities, especially in this new environment, but they seem to do better when we're outside. We played for a long while before heading in to FaceTime with Paul's parents, and then heading back to the orphanage by 6:15. In the evening, all of us met up for dinner with another adoptive mom here in Jinja (who we met at the Embassy last week). We chatted about the process and our time in Uganda and it was nice to share our hearts with a kindred spirit. She is adopting an 8 year old boy, and will hopefully be heading home soon! We're believing the same thing for us! :) All in all, it was a good day.

Friday we thought we might be headed to Kampala to pick up our passports (enter squeal of delight!), so we got everything packed and walked to the orphanage by 9:15. We waited for the director to arrive to let us know, but unfortunately it was a no go as the passport officer who we were to meet was out sick :( We are prayerfully going on Monday to get them, so please keep that in your prayers!!! With a bit of disappointment, we made a new plan and decided to spend some 1 on 1 time with the boys. We were carrying them on our backs, so Paul took L and I took J and we headed in different directions. We each went to one of the little restaurants in town and let the boys talk and play and eat with us while we gave them our undivided attention. L thoroughly enjoyed his time with Paul and you could tell he definitely felt like a big boy. J was more quiet, but was excited to be in a new place and did well playing with his cars and play-doh while counting ceiling fans, lights and tables :) We met back up around 11:45 and walked home together for lunch. The boys were much more mischievous today and Paul and I were getting a bit frustrated at their lack of obedience. Not only did they break a glass cup and some eggs, but they hardly slept and were getting into everything they know they shouldn't. They lost many privileges throughout the course of the afternoon, and it was hard for us to remain calm with them continuing to push the limits. Nap Day 5: Fail. In the afternoon, we again went outside to play and thankfully they did well. After a while all of the moms and kids came out to play (5 adults and 6 kids!), which normally is a free for all, but all of them did SO much better today and we were thankful to see the progress. We are believing this will be a turn in the right direction for playtime with other kiddos! Currently the boys are SO protective of us and often get very clingy and defensive when other kids try to spend time with us. With that said, I think they are starting to understand a little more that we are their people, and they've been better at sharing us :) Here's hoping to ch ch changes! 

Play time outside!

Saturday was a really nice family day for us and we took time away from the rest of the families to just spend time with the boys. We headed to the orphanage by 9, picked up the boys and put them on our backs to be carried. We headed downtown to do some grocery shopping, but made a stop at the coffee shop for their snack and our caffeine fix :) They LOVE going there and always feel so privileged to sit in a big boy chair and eat with us. We've been enjoying all these new experiences with them and it's a fun way to show them we care :) After snack, they hopped back in their carriers and we finished our grocery shopping. From there we walked home and played outside just the 4 of us for a long time. It was nice to have them more calm and collected, without all the other kids around, and we enjoyed spending the morning outside in their company. At noon we headed inside for lunch and we all sat and ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches as a family. The boys think it's so funny that we sit and eat with them since at the orphanage it is always just a room full of kids. They were very chatty today too and we had fun singing songs and talking while we ate. We could tell they were both very tired and throughout lunch were rubbing their eyes. So after we cleaned up, we read a book and said our prayers before Paul and I laid with them to go to sleep. By 1:00 they were both sound asleep and thankfully both slept until 3:00! There was definitely less commotion outside today and it was helpful to not have so many distractions to potentially wake them up. Nap Day 6: Success! In the afternoon it was raining, so our plans for a walk were a no go. Once the boys were awake we did snack and played inside. 

L snuggling after his nap :)

Sunday was the first time we took the boys to church with us and it was a bit of a hot mess :) The boys did pretty good during worship, but they were too nervous to go to kids church without us, so we ended up just sitting in the grass behind the "sanctuary" and let them play while we tried to listen to the sermon. J was definitely over-tired and was very over-stimulated, so Paul and I were switching on and off with him to make sure he wasn't getting too crazy. Overall, it went well, but I know it will take a few more times going before they feel comfortable. It was definitely a change for us as we felt like we didn't really get to worship or enjoy the service, but we know that will change once they adjust a bit more. We left church at 12:30 and headed right home for lunch and snack. The boys ate well, but I could tell they were getting into exhausted territory, so we cleaned up, read our book, said our prayers and they were both asleep in 5 minutes or less. We were again so thankful. They slept for 2 hours and it was much needed. Paul stayed with them in the afternoon and I headed to the orphanage to paint a few of the older girls' nails. It was something I had promised them long ago, and they were SO excited to have this done. It was really a sweet time for me to spend with them, and I love these opportunities to love on these children and these people without anything in return. My heart is full <3

This week was definitely a big step forward for our family, and we are continually trusting God to help us navigate our boys needs, their hearts, their hurts and their future. It's often been difficult for us to separate the behavior from the tender nature of the boys, but God is definitely working on us too, and we are becoming more calm, more nurturing and more compassionate to their needs, even when their behavior looks mean and nasty. We are finding new ways to love on them and to get through their shell, but it hasn't been easy. We often find ourselves having to take a breath and remember they are just tiny humans who want someone to love them and comfort them, and then we remember that we can actually do that very well. Our lives have truly been turned upside down by these 2 little boys, and as they continue to open up to us, we see how valuable this time with them really is. Paul and I find ourselves rehashing parts of the day that made us laugh, phrases they've said in their sweet Ugandan accents, and fun/silly reactions to things that we Americans could care less about. There are so many things I could list that have totally stolen our hearts, and as we continue to plow our path as their mom and dad, we couldn't be more proud of our darling sons. 

Missing you all and praying you are well,

Week 5...Encouraged

Hi All!

Greetings from beautiful Uganda! This week has been good in many ways, but exhausting in others. We are feeling so blessed to be able to have this time with our boys (that is truly unlike any other time we will have with them!), but there are definitely days when we feel frustrated and weary. We are trusting God like we never have before and trying to enjoy every day to the absolute fullest.

On Monday, the 14th, we were able to go to Kampala for the boys' passport interviews! We didn't know for sure until Monday morning at 8:35am and we left at 9:15am to make the drive. That is Uganda for you :) Our time at the passport office was fairly quick and easy, which we were thrilled about! We've heard horror stories from other families regarding their wait at the passport office, but God definitely went before us and we were able to get everything submitted with only a short wait. Praise Jesus! On the other hand, the drive to and from Kampala was terrible. We drove with another family who was taking their 1 son for his interview as well, but despite having a good amount of space, it was the worst drive we've had yet. J was having a REALLY hard time being confined in the car and he was so difficult. On our first trip to Kampala for court he did so well, but this time around was night and day difference. Paul and I were constantly rotating the boys for our own sake, but J had many instances of pure tantrums, and we were feeling so spent. L did pretty good overall, but still needed consistent prompting to maintain his safety. In Uganda there are no carseats, seatbelt wearing, etc in the car, so the boys are free to roam, stand, sit, crawl, whatever. It's AWFUL! It makes 10x the work for Paul and I to make sure they don't hurt themselves, and with the traffic, they are always getting thrown around the car. Often we adjust the seats to help "barricade" them in a bit, but it never seems to work. I will be SO HAPPY when we have to put them in car seats. All in all it was a 7 hour day, mostly in the car, and by the end of it I had a splitting headache and was just feeling like a terrible mom. We got back to the orphanage near dinner time and Paul and I played with them for a few before saying our goodbyes and heading out for dinner. We were all thrilled to be out of the car, and I'm praying that our next few trips will be much better than this one. Phew.

On Tuesday, Paul stayed with the boys all day and I headed to Kampala again (with 2 of the other moms) for the U.S. Embassy adoption information meeting. It was again a full day mostly in the car, but the session was very helpful, and it was good to meet all the people who will be interviewing us for our Visa approval. They were able to answer a lot of our questions regarding paperwork and investigation questions, and I felt much more at ease upon leaving. Additionally, it was nice to spend the day with the other moms and have some time to decompress a bit. We are all going through challenges of our own, but going through it together makes it that much better. Most people have no idea how difficult this process is, and it's such a blessing to have beautiful women who know your heart and thoughts and will just let you cry or complain with no judgment. We will forever we bonded together. I definitely missed seeing the boys today, but I was happy they enjoyed some quality time with their daddy :)

Paul lent them his raincoat as the rain started...this is what they did with it :)

Time with daddy :)

Wednesday was a normal day for us and we spent the morning with J at a local coffee shop. We have been working a lot on his social skills, ability to make eye contact, emotional response to stressors, colors, shapes, numbers and so much more. Overall he is responding well, but he gets overstimulated quickly, so we have to be able to give him some space to process before moving on to something else. He actually did really well while we were working with him, and I was feeling so encouraged by his progress. He still needs quite a bit of discipline to help calm his tantrums, but they are getting fewer and farther between which is HUGE. Wednesday afternoon we picked up both boys and brought them to our guest house. We played inside most of the time because there was heavy rain earlier in the day, but the boys loved it. They get so excited over the littlest things, like rolls of duct tape and flashlights, and we have so many videos of them giggling and rolling on the floor laughing over silly little things. It melts my heart! We also took them through pictures of our family, and they are getting good at knowing who people are. The cutest one is when J tries to say "Nana." Paul's mom goes by Nana and we have been trying to get the boys to just point out who people are without our prompting. Well, without fail, every time, he calls her "Banana." Even after our correction, he says Banana. Paul and I have to hold in our laughter, but I think this one may stick. Sorry Carol, you may always be Banana to him :)

L learning how to do a wheelbarrow race :)

Wearing our shoes around our apartment complex :)

Thursday was a more difficult day and J had more meltdowns than normal. I'm not sure what set him off in the morning, but it took a lot of patience and loving discipline before he finally calmed down. We took him back to the orphanage a little earlier than normal so he could ride bikes and jump on the trampoline a bit. We stayed and played with him there for a while, and we could tell he was enjoying the comfort of knowing his surroundings. J is bonding to us really well, but he is more sensitive to new surroundings than L. As we played with him we could see him returning more to his normal self, and by the time we left, he was content. This process is so hard on all of us and Paul and I are learning so much about our boys and ourselves with every passing day. When you're in the thick of this, it often feels like things will never be normal, but then we see progress in the littlest of things, and we again feel encouraged. God is definitely shaping our hearts during this journey; all we have to do is listen.

J riding his favorite bike at the orphanage

Friday was an overall good day and we had a wonderful time with J in the morning. He did so well with us, despite a couple things, and we were feeling much more at ease than the day before. Not only was he listening and responding to us more, but he started initiating communicating his needs to us, instead of us always having to ask. He has also been engaging with L much more and it's been so sweet to see them holding hands or calling for each other to come play. We are seeing how God is knitting all of our hearts together, and we are falling in love with our boys a little more each day. Even though we feel like crazy people sometimes, we have no doubt that this is what we were called to do.

We love when they love on each other 

Saturday was a HOT day, but we had a great time with the boys. We picked them up early in the morning and went for a long walk by the lake. We then went to Heal Ministries and played there for a little over an hour. They house many children from the community there as well, and I could tell both of our boys were being protective of us. Nevertheless, we had a great time swinging, "driving", playing in the sandbox and tree house and just being together. In the afternoon we brought the boys back to our place and just enjoyed some time together. They LOVE coming to our house and they are feeling more comfortable integrating themselves into our space. We gave them their new shoes that we brought with us, and you would've thought we bought them new bikes! They squealed with delight and did NOT want to take them off. The shoes that the orphanage gave them continue to fall apart and in the last couple weeks some of the other children have chewed them (when I say chewed, I mean literally taken HUGE bites out of their shoes) because of jealousy and availability. We were going to wait to give them their shoes until they were with us full time, but since their old shoes now fall off every 2 minutes, we gave them to them early :) They are so precious to us and it's been so fun to witness all these new firsts. We can't wait to come home and see more!

Paul and J looking down at us from the tree house!

Tire Swing fun!

Their new shoes :) As you can see they are RIGHT NEXT to their backpacks :)

Sunday we went to church, per the usual, and will plan to spend the afternoon with the boys until they head back for dinner and bed. They both really enjoy going to church and are often singing songs the rest of the day :) We're believing they'll enjoy it as much in America as they do here!

While we were hoping to be able to take the boys out full-time next week, we were unfortunately told we had to wait until we received our written rulings from the judge. This week will be 4 weeks from their court dates and we are praying we will get them soon. Until then our plan is to take L out of school, so we can spend more time with both of them, and begin to integrate them more into our routine. We will begin picking them up at 8:30 or 9am and keeping them with us all day until bedtime. This will mean they will begin to eat meals with us and nap with us, which will be a huge change for them. Please pray for us this week as we transition them into this and navigate their needs as well as ours. Even though we were disappointed to not take them full-time right away, I think this will be a good start to their adjustment of living with us. L is definitely ready, but we're asking God to be with J as I know he will have a harder time. This will definitely be a huge change for all of us, but we're excited for them to finally be Stevens :) 

Here's a video of L explaining the process :) "Paper on the judge we are going to sleep 'ere! Paper on the Embassy and we are going to America!" Enjoy :)

We don't anticipate any trips to Kampala this week, but please pray that our document process continues to go smoothly and that God will give us favor with everyone who will touch our paperwork. Paul and I are content with the timing as long as everything gets approved. In the end, all we care about is being able to come home with BOTH boys at the SAME TIME...and if that means a little longer here, we're OK with that.

We pray you are all well and are enjoying the beginnings of Fall. Please keep your e-mails and communication coming! We are definitely missing our friends and family and it's so wonderful to hear from all of you! A big thank you to all of you who have given financially. We appreciate it more than we can say and we can't wait to thank you all in person! Here's to week 6!

Love, love, love,

Week 4...Progress

So this week was good and hard in many regards. As I've said before, everyday is a learning process and even when we see huge strides in one day, the next day could have large areas of regression. We try very hard to take it day by day and not let one difficult day affect the rest, but often that's much easier said than done.

This week was a milestone as we started bringing the boys to our guest house in the afternoons. This was very exciting for them, but they definitely needed the first couple days to figure things out. L seemed to jump right in, and has told us everyday this week, "Mummy, I want to sleep 'ere!" He understands so well that this will be his new "home" and is ready to begin that chapter! L takes everything in and once we tell him something, he's sold :) We keep informing him that he won't be able to sleep at our house until we get the paper from the Judge... so everyday when we're leaving to go back to the orphanage he tells everyone, "Paper on the Judge...we are going sleep 'ere!" It's precious. For as tough as he is, L is definitely a tender heart and enjoys all the attention he's getting from us :)

J still has a lot of wary moments, and even when he starts feeling comfortable, the next moment he could be backing away from something showing pure fear on his face. Although J is 4, he has the developmental/emotional capacity more of a 2-2.5 year old, and it's been hard to figure out what he needs in those moments of anxiety, especially since he doesn't speak English very well. We have definitely made huge strides in the trust department and he has made fair progress on all other fronts, but he has many coping mechanisms that we are still trying to work through, and Paul and I often feel at a loss when we don't know exactly how to help him. This was the first week I had many emotional moments...wanting to cry for no reason and feeling like a terrible mom that I can't soothe my own son. I know the communication will get better and better once they're with us full time (and L helps translate for us occasionally!), but it's been much more difficult to decipher when J gets into his "fight or flight" mode. From all our education, we've learned that there's no point to try to correct behavior or discipline when these little tikes are in that state because they won't respond...all they can focus on is how to get through the fear or anxiety they are currently feeling. Paul and I have often had to take turns to help maintain a calm demeanor, and J seems to be responding well to our intentional care of him.  

We have been able to spend more 1 on 1 time with J this week, as L has been going to "school" in the mornings. We thought initially we would pull L out to spend more time with us, but since we've been having a much harder time with J, we decided to leave L in school and take the time to work with J in a less stimulating/calmer environment. Activity wise, this week has been pretty monotonous as we've been trying to do predictable things that J is more comfortable with, but it's been a good bonding experience for the 3 of us. Every morning we've been taking J for a walk then going to a "park" (really a big field with trees and lots of cow poop everywhere!) or to a coffee shop where we can sit in a quiet room with him. We've been working on colors, shapes, numbers, matching, etc, which he seems to be enjoying overall. He has a very short attention span and when he gets frustrated he can get aggressive. We've been working very hard on this all week, and we're hoping as he gains more trust and understanding he will continue to have more feelings of safety and less need for reaction. Overall, he is doing very well with our mornings together, but there is still a lot of work to be done and we praying fervently on his behalf. We are continually asking God for wisdom on how best to get through to him, and despite our feelings of frustration or lack, we know we are making steady progress... it's just hard to see when you're in it everyday.

Snuggling J before we drop him off for lunch

J housing some water and a banana. Our kids can eat SO MANY BANANAS!

"Shading" with J at the park

In the afternoons, we've been picking up both boys and taking them to our guest house. We've been trying to acclimate them slowly to the new environment and pointing out essentials like their bed, the bathroom, food, etc, so they will have more of a felt comfort when we take them full time. Typically we play inside for a bit before heading outside to do bubbles, play soccer or read books. Each day has been a little better for them, and we hope next week they will continue to adjust. We did get to see some monkeys nearby this week and the boys LOVED it! They could've watched the monkeys all day with no interruption! They were so excited to see them leap from tree to tree and we hope we are able to have more times like this before we head home.

Tickle torture! (J in brown, L in orange) 
The boys have just been introduced to the art of tickling, and it has been so funny to see them use it against Paul! Some of the other kids have joined in as well!

Monkeys!

Backpack love AND REPRESENT YANKEE BASEBALL <3 We brought little backpacks for the boys (Thank you Mike and Rachelle!) and they pretty mush refuse to take them off. We only give them to them at our apartment, but it's fun to see them love having something of their own!

Just because we thought this was HILARIOUS. Enjoy :)

We had a good amount of rain this week, so we carried them frequently to avoid the excess mud and puddles that come with the rain. J&L both LOVE to be carried, and it's been fun to see their little personalities come out as they feel more comfortable. L is pretty much always singing on our walks...normally songs we are not familiar with...but we love hearing him sing nonetheless. On our walk the other day he started singing, "Peeaaaannuuuttt, Peanut butter, and Jelly" and Paul and I both cracked up! How does he know that song?! Below is a short clip of him singing on Paul's back...So cute!

We are supposed to be waiting for our written ruling before taking the boys full time, but we are considering trying to get them with us next week if we don't have the ruling yet. It's been confusing for them to go between us and the orphanage daily, and while they feel safe at the orphanage, it's hard to have any consistency of behavior or routine this way. While we are nervous at the prospect of taking them out, we are excited to see the growth that will come, and even more excited to get them into our own family routine. Please keep us in your prayers as we navigate the next couple weeks. We are definitely feeling emotionally drained, but there are so many high points in the day that we are able to keep our eye on the prize :)

On an exciting note, we were told we may be able to apply for our passports with just the court order and not the written ruling!! If this is the case, we would potentially be headed to Kampala (the capital) on Monday to go for our passport interviews!! This is a HUGE bump up in our timeline and we are believing things will go smoothly...although we are trying not to get our hopes up. As of Thursday, we submitted our applications to the passport office and are just waiting for confirmation of appointment time. We were told to still expect 2-3 weeks until we would be able to pick up the passports after our interview, but we didn't anticipate even applying for at least another 1-1.5 weeks, so we are pumped! Please pray we have favor with the passport office and whoever we get as our official will be kind, quick and efficient!

The next couple weeks are definitely going to be BIG turning points with the boys and we are continuing to trust God with every hurdle, every emotion and every change. We love them SO SO much and it's been amazing to feel the intensity of our love toward them, even when they have no concept of how much we care. We still have yet to get an unsolicited "I love you", but we know that when we finally do, it will be the best feeling in the world.

As we continue to progress through the process we are still believing for all the funds to come through for our airfare home and our finalization of their adoption in Virginia. Unfortunately in the adoption world, the fees don't stop once we're home, and we need to be able to have lump sums to cover all the costs to complete the adoption in the states (flights home, social work visits, court reports, lawyer fees, etc). If you would be so kind as to share our Go Fund Me link (http://www.gofundme.com/6x9s6sf45d) or consider donating a small amount, we would be forever grateful!! If everyone donated $10, we would easily meet our goal of $5,000!

You guys have SO GRACIOUSLY AND SACRIFICIALLY given towards our adoption time and time again, and we are so incredibly overwhelmed at the way you have loved and supported our family this last year. Thank you does not do justice to how our hearts feel for your generosity towards us. We are SO blessed to have friends and family like you!

Love from Uganda,