Week 9...Almost there

Hi Friends,

We are definitely missing you all and the comforts of home, but we are learning to live simply and humbly, a lesson I think we should all have at some point in our lives. We are getting into the rainy season here which complicates things a little bit, but otherwise we're plugging along and making the best of each day. The boys are falling into our routine a little better every day, but we still have daily struggles. Some days Paul and I are filled with energy and patience and the difficulties don't seem so hard, but other days, when we are tired and weary, it's hard to remember how far we've come. We often have to remind ourselves that every day is a milestone and a new beginning, and regardless of how yesterday was, tomorrow will be better. Every morning we get up and say "today is a good day for a good day", and off we go. Many days I feel like I'm running on empty and that I will never quite feel rested or healthy or prepared, but then I take a breath and remember that God is on my side and despite the mental and physical fatigue, He will sustain me.

I can't believe we are on week 9. Some days it feels like we've been here for a year and other days it seems like it went really fast. There are still many things on our to do list before we head home, and we are excited to let the boys experience a bit more of their culture before they are in a world filled with muzungus (white people)!

Monday this week was a Kampala day and IOM (medical) day 1. We got up at 3:45am and got dressed and ready...we got the boys up at 4:40am and got them dressed and ready...then headed outside to wait for our driver. We were told he would be there by 5am, however he didn't roll up until 5:40. Grrrrr. I mean who doesn't want to wait outside in the pitch black with 2 toddlers for 40 minutes with nowhere to sit but on the concrete ground? Regardless, we put aside our frustrations, greeted him good morning and hopped in. The ride there was fairly uneventful since it was so early, however traffic was worse in the city so we were a few minutes late arriving (it doesn't really matter though because Ugandans are always late!). We got there at 8:10 for our 8:00 appointment, checked in, then sat down to wait. At 8:45 they took us back and did our intake. She asked us some questions about the boys, we asked her some questions, we signed consent forms and we were done. We then went back into the waiting room and waited for about 30 more minutes, before they were called back for their shots. The waiting room was outside and the boys went in 1 at a time for their Tb test and HIV blood draw. The worst part was being able to hear other children screaming before our boys went in; it definitely didn't help with their peace if mind! I went in first with L and he sat in a big chair and I held down his legs and other arm while he got his Tb shot. He cried and cried, but otherwise did great. For the blood draw, I had him sit on my lap and had to restrain him again. He did great though overall, and I gave him a dum-dum immediately after which heals all wounds! Paul went in with J, as I knew I wouldn't be able to restrain him by myself, and it was good he did. It took Paul and another male nurse to hold him down, and he screamed bloody murder at the top of his lungs! It was horrible to hear and horrible to watch, but as soon as it was over and he had his "sweetie" all was right in the world. Phew! We were done by 9:45am and headed into town to meet a friend for lunch. At 11, me, Paul and the boys had lunch with a Bishop who does discipleship training and workshops for people in the Entebbe/Kampala region. He has met my parents and their friends many years ago, and really wanted to see us while we were here. It was nice to talk with him and hear his take on the boys, and besides the chaos of having 2 really tired children out at a restaurant, we were blessed that he took the time to meet with us. At 12:15 we were back on the road to Jinja. The boys slept on us for about an hour in the car, but did really well overall. It has made a HUGE difference for just our family to be in the car. My anxiety levels have dropped significantly, and even though it's still a lot of work, it's been doable, which is all I ask for! We got home about 3pm and let the boys run around inside and out. They were pretty tired, but enjoyed being out of the car. At 5:30 we headed to dinner at a restaurant and it was a bit of a mess. The boys were so over-tired, but thankfully there was no one else there, so it wasn't a big deal. Once the food came they were happy as clams and gobbled up all the goods quickly. At 7:00 we headed home, but we couldn't do a bath as we were not allowed to get their Tb tests wet. So we did a quick wipe down, brushed teeth, book, prayers, bed. They were out by 7:45 and it was a good thing because they needed it! IOM day 1 success.

Sneak peak at a car trip. #allIwantisacarseat!

Lunch with Dr. Benjamin!

L sleeping on Paul

Home and learning how to do airplane! 

Playing their new game where they are "driving their boat" to Kampala 

Tuesday we were all tired from the day before, but we enjoyed having nothing to do in the morning. We all got up and hung out in our PJs, before making some oatmeal for breakfast. The boys were in a bit of a funk this morning and they were refusing to eat their oatmeal and spilled juice their all over the floor...twice. My patience was running thin and it was only 8:30am. I needed God to give me peace and quick! After breakfast we got them cleaned up and dressed for the day. They played inside for a bit while Paul and I got ready, then we headed downtown for coffee and snack. For whatever reason the boys love "going for coffee" (even though they only eat the snack we bring for them), but it's nice to get out of the house for us and we're grateful they get excited for small outings like this. After their snack and a bit of caffeine for us, Paul and I did some gift shopping at the local vendors. We have loved being able to support these beautiful people in a tangible way and the things they sell are really one of a kind. We weren't able to get through everyone on our list, but we got a handful of things, and at 12:30 headed back home. We gave the boys lunch before book and nap-time and thankfully they both went down fairly easy. They woke up around 3:30, but were both still groggy overall. We just lounged in bed with them for a bit before getting up for snack. In the afternoon we went outside to play with one of the other mom's biological son, who is 5. He just came the day before but was too tired and jet-lagged to meet the boys when he arrived. So now that he was rested, we went over to meet him, then went outside to play. J was LOVING kicking the soccer ball back and forth, which was such a delight for Paul. He was enjoying playing soccer with him, and this is one of the first activities J has done for an extended period of time. L was enjoying having a new friend to play with, but still often prefers to play with us :) At 5:45 we headed to town for dinner and the other couple, Mitch and Lindsey, came with us. The boys were better behaved tonight, but were still antsy overall. They ate all their food without difficulty, and Paul and I enjoyed some adult conversation during this time! At 7:15 we headed home, but since we still couldn't do a bath, we had a repeat of the night before. We had bought the boys little stuffed elephants from one of the street vendors earlier in the day, and decided to save them for bedtime, as they often get restless without us laying with them. Once we gave them to them they were SO excited and thankfully both went to sleep fairly quickly. We were SO grateful because we had to get up early again to go to Kampala and we knew they would need their sleep. That evening I worked on paperwork for the Embassy while Paul made some work calls. It's been hard for Paul and I to have any kind of quality time together as he has to work when the boys are sleeping (nap and bedtime) and I often go to sleep while he's still working away. Even though we spend all day together, the boys take up so much of our capacity, and it's been hard to have any time together. We are praying that once we're home and settled we will be able to plan in some time for us.

J playing soccer!

Coffee date! We let them play with some ice cubes (which they've never seen before).
Thank God we were the only ones in that room! :)

Wednesday was another Kampala morning for IOM day 2. We were up early and on the road by 6:30am. The drive there was fairly quick in comparison to other days, but L was SO fidgety and he was pushing the limits quite a bit. This is very different than usual, as L is normally a people pleaser. He LOVES getting things right, knowing information and showing us how well he can do things, and he HATES getting in trouble. Even when he thinks he MIGHT get in trouble, he immediately begins crying HUGE tears as his feelings are SO hurt. So for him to be consistently pushing our buttons, we knew he was way past his point of fatigue. We arrived at IOM at 8:45, but our appointment wasn't until 9:15 so we hunkered down to wait. Thankfully they took us back at 9:05 and the nurse took the boys height, weight, vitals, arm circumference and measurements. They both came back as moderately underweight, but we know that will change once they're home with us. Once the nurse was done, we headed around to the outside waiting room for their Tb tests to be checked. J went first and they cleared him right away. L however, gave them some concern, so they made some markings, measured with a ruler and sent him in to get a second opinion. Thankfully the second technician said he was fine and this momma breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. If they suspect anything from the Tb test, they make the kids get a chest x-ray and perform 3 days of sputum testing to rule it out. This would've put us back at least 2 weeks, and I was praying under my breath the whole time they were checking him out. Thank you Jesus all was well! Once their tests were cleared, we went back outside to wait to see the doctor. At 10:20 the doctor called us back and we went into a back room to see Dr. Jacob. He was super friendly and kind to the kids and he instantly made them feel at ease. He did a complete physical on both of them and then told me, "your children are healthy." It was a relief to hear he was pleased with their current state and he also put my mind at ease about a couple markings on them that concerned me initially. Overall, it was a good visit and the boys enjoyed all the attention :) We were done by 11:00 and we were excited to be heading home. We went out to the car to get in, however our driver was no where in sight. We were puzzled. We looked around but didn't see him, so we gave him a call and he said he was nearby and would be there soon. So we sat in the hot sun on the grass and began to wait for what we thought would be a few minutes. Well an hour and a half later he shows up. What the heck. We were SO frustrated and beyond upset as we were sitting in the grass, on a busy road, with no food, no water and nothing for the boys to do. It was such a disaster and I couldn't believe a few minutes to him was over an hour. When he arrived, we immediately got in the car and tried to be kind despite the want for dragon Bettina to come out. He was on the phone when he started to pull away which was probably a God send because it allowed me to calm down a bit. The ride home was difficult as we were all hungry, tired and SO hot from sitting outside in the sun for so long. It began to pour soon after we started driving, so we had to roll up the windows most of the way to keep from getting soaked. L napped on Paul for 45 minutes, but J was fighting sleep the whole ride home. I finally got him to sleep around 1:30, but 15 minutes later he was wide awake. Come on, kid! Momma wants a nap too! Paul and I both had such a headache from not eating and we couldn't wait to get home. At 2:45 we pulled into our guest house and got the boys quickly inside for lunch. They scarfed down all their food and I felt bad they were so hungry! Paul and I were seriously on the struggle bus so we put on a movie and made the boys have some quiet time. They did well for about 45 minutes, but then lost interest and it was like pulling teeth to get them to "rest." So Paul and I peeled ourselves out of bed and headed outside to play. The boys were SO tired and ornery, but there was not much to do, so we let them run it out. At 5:30 we headed to the orphanage to chat with the directors regarding some of the paperwork we need for the Embassy. We ended up being there over 45 minutes, but it was a good conversation and I was pleased with their answers. To be honest, Paul and I were a little concerned, as this was the first time we brought the boys back to orphanage for more than just dropping off our laundry. We didn't know how they would respond or what they would think, so we made sure to sit them down and explain that they were not staying there, and they would be coming back with us as soon as we were done talking to "Uncle William." Thankfully, our hard work was confirmed as they wanted nothing to do with that place. They refused to play with their old friends, they refused to go see their caretakers, and they refused to leave our side. It was SO confirming for us, and Paul and I realized that all the tears and hardship and difficulty IS paying off, as we have 2 beautiful SONS who love us and want to be with us. My heart was full. At 6:30 we headed back to our guest house, as our landlady was making us dinner. The boys ate so well (and so did we!), and I was glad to not have to walk anywhere. We headed back inside around 7:15 and did a bath before their bedtime routine. They were so tired and were both out by 8:00. We were so grateful they went to bed easy because we were both still fighting headaches, and to be honest I was just plain grumpy. It was all I could do to shower, journal and get in bed. Paul worked until after midnight, and I felt so bad there wasn't more I could do to help him. I'm so thankful for his sacrifice and provision for our family. I'm a blessed lady. 

Beautiful view on our drive to Kampala

L getting his Tb test checked. Very official as you can see!

L "taking pictures" while waiting to see the doctor.

J sitting on me while waiting to see the doctor :)

Their physicals! They're so cute in their little undies!

Waiting outside IOM for our driver. So frustrating.  

Movie time!

On Thursday Paul got up at 6:45 with the boys and I joined them at 7:15. I still had a bit of a headache, but took some ibuprofen which seemed to help. Once we were mostly awake, Paul made eggs for breakfast, then I got the boys dressed and ready. At 9:15 we headed out the door as I was volunteering with an organization called Sole Hope, and Paul and the boys were going to walk with me to their location. The boys were so sweet that morning, and as I hugged and kissed them goodbye, I knew I would miss their little faces throughout the day. Paul braved the boys alone for most of the day...running some errands, going for coffee, playing outside, running on our dirt road, making them lunch and putting them down for a nap. Superdad. For real though. He's a keeper. I on the other hand headed out to a remote village about an hour from Jinja and helped Sole Hope with their weekly jigger clinic. Jiggers are small bugs that burrow into your feet like ticks and then lay eggs which hatch and continue to spread throughout your body. They live under the superficial layer of dirt here in Uganda, so children and elderly who don't wear shoes and have poor hygiene, end up highly infested with them. They are terribly painful and literally eat away at the flesh of your feet. If you're brave, google image jiggers and take a peak. It's pretty disgusting so look at your own risk! We arrived at the village school around 11am and a handful of us volunteers sang songs with the kids, while the jigger team set up shop. The school was huge, I would say 500+ children, and there was no way to see them all. The Sole Hope team had asked the school to choose 100 of the most severe children and we would see them for the day. It's hard to imagine teasing out kids to help when there are so many who need it, but realistically there was no way to see them all in one day. (The team plans to go back to help more children at a later date!). The rotation in place was that the children got their feet and lower legs washed really well, then they were carried to a jigger removal station (so their feet didn't get dirty), then the jiggers would be removed with...umm, wait for it...safety pins and razor blades. After they were removed, the feet were washed again, then bandaged up with neosporin before heading to the shoe station to get fit for a pair of shoes. 97% of the children in the village don't have/wear shoes so this is HUGE for them. The whole program is so genius, and if you're so inclined, donate! They are doing amazing things for these people, and are really working hard to help the marginalized. In Uganda, jiggers are a stigma and people believe you are cursed if you have them. Therefore, children who get them are often not allowed back home because the family feels they are cursed. It's terrible. Sole Hope works hard to erase that stigma, to show it is not a curse, but a bug that is CURABLE. I mean talk about being the hands and feet of Jesus. I felt put to shame. Anyway, I started out by washing the children's feet. I sat on the ground and one after the other I scrubbed their little feet with soap and a scrub brush to get all the layers of dirt removed. After about an hour of washing, we rotated jobs as it's pretty hard on your back. Once I was done washing I went to the documentation station. For this, I sat behind one of the jigger removers, and documented on a piece of paper where they found jiggers. At the end of the removal, you tally the jiggers then send them over to get fit for shoes. While documenting was easy, watching the jiggers being removed was hard. These children were SO BRAVE and I literally did not see a single one cry. Did you read that? These children were getting their feet poked and prodded with safety pins and razor blades and not a single one cried. It was crazy. It was such an awesome experience for me and I plan to do it at least 1 more time before we head home. Once the 100 children were done, we packed everything up and drove back to Jinja. When we got back to Sole Hope's location, I got a tour of their grounds, saw where/how they make the shoes and met the team behind the project. It was an amazing day and I felt so humbled to serve those beautiful children in a tangible way. As a plug, I plan to do a shoe cutting party when I get home this Fall, so if you want to be involved, let me know! It's a great way to help these children get shoes and all it takes is $10 and some scissors. More details to follow! :) When I got home around 3, the boys were still sleeping and Paul was working. I hadn't eaten all day, so I ate a quick bite and then snuggled the boys when they got up. I sat with them while they ate their snack, as Paul had to finish some work calls. In the afternoon, we went outside again to play with the other children and both boys had fun running around, playing with cones, playing soccer, swinging the jump rope and just being kids. At 5:45 we packed up the boys and headed downtown for dinner. It was a more difficult dinner for us as the boys were a bit wired, and our service was very slow which made it all the more difficult. At 7:40 (eek!) we finally left, and decided to forgo the bath as we were running so late. We got the boys cleaned up and into bed by 8:15. L fell asleep fairly quickly and by 8:30 he was asleep. J on the other hand was so wired, and didn't end up falling asleep until 9:30...after Paul laid with him to get him to settle down. I've said this before, but it's such an emotional process for us, and ending the night this way is always more difficult. Paul had to work pretty late so I showered, journaled and hopped into bed while he was up well past midnight. As I said last week, buy him a burger or something. He deserves it.

Coffee date with daddy! This is such a typical picture! hahaha

The view from Paul's walk with the boys

Arriving at the village school!

Friday was a fairly good day, but I had a very challenging night with J, probably one of the worst yet, and I definitely hit an all time low emotionally. In the morning we got up and ate breakfast together then got ready for the day. Fridays are house-keeping days for our guest house, so we always have to change out our sheets, change out our towels, sweep and take out the garbage. So once we were dressed, we let the boys play in the room/listen to music while we got the cleaning done. At 9:30 we packed up the boys and our laundry and walked to the orphanage to drop it off. We then headed downtown for some coffee and let the boys have their snack. It was a REALLY hot day, so Paul and I were definitely feeling the fatigue of walking with the boys on our backs. However, we had a lot of errands to run, so we geared up for the day. After coffee, we walked down to the local market to get some fruit. Once we had everything we wanted, we headed to the grocery store to get a few things for the boys' snack. By that time it was 12:00, so we walked the 30 minutes back to our guest house, unloaded the groceries, then made lunch. They were hungry and thirsty from the heat, and they scarfed down all their food without a problem. We got them ready for nap and laid them down around 1:10. J actually went down fairly quickly once I laid with/on him, but L was more restless and didn't go to sleep until 1:40, after I laid with him as well. They only slept until 3:00 (there was a man cutting steel on the property and it was SO LOUD), but we made them stay in bed and have quiet time until 3:30. Once they were up, we did snack then headed outside to play with the other kiddos. The other families have been receiving not great news, so they were all in a bad mood and not in a great mental state. Because the mojo was so bad, Paul and I loaded up the boys at 4:50 and headed out for a walk. We stopped by the orphanage on our way to pick up some paperwork and make sure everything was in line for next week, then headed downtown for dinner. Paul had a 5:30 work call, so I hunkered in with the boys at the restaurant while he went outside to talk. It started out alright with the boys excited but contained, but then got bad quickly. J was just being extra defiant and so I brought him on my lap for discipline. He then proceeded to freak out (per the usual) and while he's screaming on my lap, everyone is looking at me and staring. I gave L my phone to watch some videos since I was alone, and he very contently watched while I spent the next 30 minutes disciplining J. It was one thing after the next with his aggression, and if Paul wasn't outside on the phone, I would've packed up J and left. I was just so frustrated and angry and it took all my energy to muster up some compassion and remember that he is just a hurting little boy who is going through a lot of change. It was all I could do to not burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant. When our food came, J had finally calmed down enough to sit by himself, but continued to be defiant overall. Over an hour later, Paul re-joined us and by that time I was ready to go. Paul scarfed down some food while I took the boys to the bathroom, then we loaded them up and walked home. I fought tears most of the way, and all I wanted to do was curl up on my couch at home in my favorite sweatpants and have a good cry. But seeing as we had a 20 minute walk home in the dark with a 38lb. toddler on my back that wasn't going to happen. Plus all we have here to sit on are plastic lawn chairs, so it wouldn't be quite the same :) Once we got home, we brushed our teeth, while I got the boys' bath ready. Paul was watching them in the tub while I put the laundry away and got their bed ready. Unfortunately J was continuing to not listen, so we pulled him out of the tub and made him sit with me on his bed until L was done. I was trying to keep him calm and contained, while he was getting more upset, and the whole time just praying over him. Once again he started to get a bit aggressive, and I hit rock bottom. Instead of being compassionate and patient, I simply burst into tears and couldn't stop. I spoke to J through my tears, not knowing if he's understanding anything I'm saying, and reiterated how much I loved him, but how much it hurts when he does what he does. I was literally pleading with a 4 year old to stop doing what he was doing. Mom of the year I know. It was clear he didn't know what to do, and when Paul and L came in to see the scene, L also froze in his tracks. After I was done talking to J, I just went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet seat lid and sobbed. Big, heaping, huge sobs. A minute later, J opened the bathroom door, just staring wide-eyed at me. While I was crying little J rubbed my head (that's how they say sorry here) and said, "Sorry, mommy. Don't hurt mommy." My heart melted. I had never felt so raw. At that point, I just hugged him to me and sobbed into his little body. I literally didn't know what else to do. Once I let him go and composed myself a bit, we both headed back into the bedroom and finished getting ready for bed. I hugged L too, because he was clearly worried, and I assured him I was okay. Together Paul and I finished getting them ready for bed, but I continued to fight tears the rest of the night. We did their book, prayers and tucked them in with their little elephants, and off to sleep they went. Once we finished cleaning up, I just cried while Paul held me, and together we debriefed and then prayed over our children. It's been such an emotionally charged journey, but I believe we will see a breakthrough with J before we come home. We are on the brink of something HUGE and while I can't always tangibly see the pieces coming together, I know God is moving on our behalf. While I felt weak and awful for sobbing in front of my children, I know it was something that needed to happen for both of our sakes. For the pain I feel and the pain they feel. For them to see that I am just a human and even mommies need to cry sometimes. I know God hears my cries, and as I continue to trust in Him, he WILL redeem their lives. On a ridiculous note, the night ended with a bang as we had no hot water, even after having our switched turned on for over 45 minutes (we have to turn on an outlet that heats a water tank outside our room. It takes about 30-40 minutes for it to warm up so you have to be proactive in remembering!). So after such an emotional night, I took an ice cold shower (which was miserable), then journaled and hopped into bed. All I could do was laugh at that point. Onward and upward!

Not sure what's going on here, but this happens all the time :)

They were "taking pictures" together. Be still my heart.

Jman "driving to Kampala" for food :)

Saturday morning I woke up exhausted from the night before and the boys were up and at 'em at 6:30. Paul helped them go to the bathroom, then gave them some books to read while we laid in bed a little bit longer. At 7:15 they were raring to go, so we all got up and started getting ready for the day. We made eggs for breakfast and after 2 huge water spills, we finished eating our eggs. The boys played inside for a bit while Paul and I got ready. They were pushing chairs around like a "strailer" (really a stroller, but now they mesh trailer and stroller and call it a "strailer"), and going "beep, beep, beep, beep." Their imaginations are great and I hope that stays with them forever. At 10:00 Paul took them for a walk so I could have some quiet time, as we had another episode this morning with J, and I was feeling spent. Paul went to get us some coffee and gave the boys their snack before heading back to the house around 12:15. I again took this time to read my Bible, pray, worship and just rest. While I still felt emotionally and mentally tired when they returned home, my heart and head were in a better place which is exactly what I needed. God has a way of refreshing you when you spend time in His word, and that's what gives me the ability to continue this crazy, amazing journey we're on. Once the boys got back, Paul and I made them lunch before getting them ready for their nap. It had been raining all night, and the skies were still gray and overcast which helped with the ambiance of the room, and the heat! The boys were extra snuggly when we laid down and it was nice to have some calm time with both of them. They went down by 1:30 (which is GREAT!) and slept until 3:30. Yay! Once they woke up we gave them snack, then got them changed and ready as we were headed off to a photo shoot! There is a another adoptive mom here who came for the adoption of a very sick little boy, but has now also taken on a 6 year old girl with Type-1 diabetes. Type 1 diabetes is VERY rare in Uganda and it's a shock she was even diagnosed! Their family's story is incredible, and if you have a minute you should check out their blog at Grace and Salt. Anyway, the adoptive mom, Keary, is a professional photographer and is offering photo sessions here in Jinja to help raise money for the adoption of their little girl. I have been following her for quite some time, and we have been in contact since being here, and Paul and I have really felt led to support them. So in the afternoon we met them at their guest house, then headed down to the road to start our photo shoot. When we arrived it was sunny and beautiful, with the sun starting to go down; perfect for pictures! Then all of a sudden we started getting HUGE gusts of wind, then it almost immediately started pouring! It came so fast and so strong! We picked up the boys and starting running back to the guest house in the pouring rain. Once we got under shelter we dried off a bit then took some pictures in the rain. Who knows how they turned out, but we were already soaked so it didn't matter :) We went inside soon after and just waited for the rain to subside. Unfortunately the power also went out, so we hunkered in for a little while. Around 6:15 the rain finally started easing up, so we packed up the boys and started walking home before it got too dark. The roads were a muddy mess and filled with debris, so it was quite the walk home in our sandals! We skipped a bath since the power was out at our place too and with the sun setting at 6:30ish it was already pitch black when we arrived. We decided to skip going out tonight, and I made a simple meal of pasta with meat sauce, while Paul got the boys cleaned up. We all sat down and ate together, and it was nice to be in our own place without the worry of disturbing people or making a scene. After dinner we played a little with flashlights, because what kid doesn't love a flashlight, then got the boys ready for bed. They finally went down around 8:30, and I was happy they were asleep, because it was a crazy afternoon! Thankfully the power came back on before we went to bed, so we weren't without the fan! Thank you Jesus. All in all it was a good day and I look forward to seeing some of the pics of our family!

Getting in some much needed Jesus time

Sunday was Paul's 30th birthday!! I really had nothing for him, so I tried to do as much as I could to give him a much needed break for himself. I woke up early with the boys so he could sleep in, and let him lounge as long as he could. The boys don't really understand birthdays as they've never celebrated one, so it was a hard concept to explain :) Regardless, L sang Happy Birthday to Paul with me, and you could tell his heart was happy. Once Paul was up, we made breakfast together then got the boys dressed and ready for the day. They played inside while Paul and I got ready, and at 9:45 we headed out for a walk. It was a REALLY hot day, so we were thankful to have the stroller in the morning. We walked downtown to get some coffee and let the boys eat their snack. The restaurant was PACKED, for whatever reason, so we let the boys eat, but Paul and I got our drinks to go. We walked around downtown a bit, then took the long way home to just enjoy being outside. J was being very difficult on the walk home, so Paul ended up hanging back with him quite a bit while I kept walking with L. We were both trying not to get frustrated and I felt bad that Paul was having to work through all of this on his birthday. Toward the end of our walk it started to rain again, so we skedaddled, and got home just before it started to pour. By that time it was noon, so I made the boys lunch and sat with them while they ate. After lunch we got them ready for nap and I laid with them, while I sent Paul out to get a massage. I recently heard of a small place in town that's clean and good, so I thought it would be the perfect middle of the day treat :) The boys were up a little before 3, and I got them their snack before we FaceTimed with my oldest brother and his family. The boys were still kind of tired, but they did well and they enjoy seeing everyone's face on the computer :) In the afternoon, we went to Arise Talents which is a local organization, founded by a Ugandan artist named Dickson. His mission is to teach children to paint, sing, dance, craft, etc in order to get them off the streets and help pay for their education. He is an incredibly talented man, and it was such a pleasure to see his work in action. We drove out to Arise at 4pm and after a tour and brief talk with Dickson, the children sang and danced for us! It was such a wonderful "show" and we were SO blessed by them! You could see the joy all over their faces, and it is such a privilege for them to have someone like Dickson in their lives. We were taken <3 After their performance we got to look at their artwork, which was impressive for such young children! Paul and I bought a few paintings, and you could tell how proud the children were of their skill. We stayed and talked with the children until after 6, and the girls were so sweet. I was smitten with them, and they literally didn't stop hugging me until we were walking out the gate. I plan to go back one more time to see them, but also to give them most of the clothes I brought with me. They need it much more than I do, and I know it will go to good use. We got back to the guest house around 6:30, and it was again starting to pour, so we stayed in and I heated up left-overs from the night before. The boys were pretty tired, so dinner was a bit drawn-out, but they ate all their food and were PUMPED for a bath :) Every night bath time is SO exciting for them, and while Paul and I hate the clean-up after, it's fun for us to see their smiling little faces while they splash away. Boys will be boys. They went down quick tonight from all the days festivities...even with a ridiculously loud music festival blaring through town. It literally sounded as if it was in our room. They seemed to be un-phased though, and I was grateful because they needed some sleep! Paul and I had planned to go to a nicer restaurant in town to celebrate his birthday, but with the weather and the time we decided to hold off. I felt bad we didn't get to do anything special for him, but the kids at Arise Talents did serenade him with their happy birthday rendition for about 10 minutes! Mission accomplished, I guess :) 

My girl pack for the afternoon!

Paul and I with Dickson!

This journey continues to stretch us and mold us in new ways every week, and even when I find myself questioning if I can even do this, God ALWAYS gives me a glimpse of hope that allows me to keep moving forward. I can't imagine going through something like this without God. This has been, by far, the most challenging thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding. Watching these boys slowly transform from sad, isolated, and fearful to joyous, rambunctious, and imaginative has been the most beautiful unveiling of God's faithfulness. I know as we continue to love them and provide for them, their wounds will continue to decrease and their hearts will be full. Paul and I couldn't be more blessed to be their parents; even when the road is bumpy and there is no reprieve in sight. God has called us to adoption. To these boys. To this country. His plan to make J&L our sons has been so evident and we know without a doubt that they were hand-picked for us. We are definitely feeling weary and tested, but as I wrote in my journal last night, we serve a mighty, gracious, faithful, compassionate, and loving God, and He will get us through.

At this point we don't have any new idea on timeline. We have submitted everything we need to at this point, and are now just waiting for the Embassy to receive the boys medical paperwork, to which they will then contact us for our first of 3 embassy visits. We are praying to get in this Thursday for the first one, but if not, it should definitely be the following Monday. To be honest, we are in no rush. We are trusting in God's timing, and making the best of our time here in this beautiful country. I know I sound like a broken record, but thank you again for all of your kindness and support through this process. Without the friends and family we have, this would be almost unbearable! We are so grateful for each and every one of you. Here's to week 10!

xoxo,

Week 8...Signed, Sealed, Delivered!

Wow. Where to even begin. This was a bit of a crazy week for us, but it was SO much better in every way compared to the week before, and we are overjoyed to finally be progressing to the last few steps of the process! We were so nervous going into this week, not knowing what to expect, or even if our rulings would get signed, but God showed up for us in major ways, and we were able to get both our rulings and the boys' passports on the same day!! We are truly blessed beyond words to officially be parents to our boys, and our hearts could explode with the amount of love we're feeling for them on a daily basis. Every day is a new adventure, new beginnings, new heaps of patience and compassion, new expectations, new understandings of their hearts and ours, and a whole lotta crazy! The boys are definitely starting to be more comfortable with us, and have truly begun to understand all the change taking place. J still doesn't quite understand the concept of going to America, and we're nervous for how this change will be for him, but I know he will settle in well, especially since L will be there too. We have been working on the concept of a family as well, and L can finally list the 4 of us as members of his family. Priceless. It's been so sweet to see their understanding grow and change each week, and we are amazed at how God is knitting our hearts together. Here's a glimpse at week 8...

Monday I was still feeling pretty sick...coughing, congested, very lethargic and fatigued...so after we ate breakfast, I decided to lay down and rest Monday morning (per Paul's strong recommendation!). Paul went to get the boys from the orphanage and after their morning music, he took them to a local restaurant with our friends, Scott and Megan. The boys did well overall, but were still getting over being sick themselves, so it took a little more mental capacity to keep them in line. Paul and the boys got back to our apartment around 12:15 and I helped make them lunch and get them ready for a nap. They were a bit wired throughout the morning, and it took all our patience to get them settled down, but they finally fell asleep at 1:45 and slept for a little over an hour and a half. They've been pretty unpredictable in their naps with us, but we're praying that the more comfortable they get, the more peaceful they will feel. In the afternoon, we decided to be a bit lazy, and just went outside to sit in the grass at our guest house. The boys played well, but it was a super hot day, and we had to rest in the shade often! At 5:45 we got them ready to go, and walked back to the orphanage. L was so sad to go back, and it broke our hearts once again to have to say goodbye. After we dropped them off we walked back home, as our landlady, Alba, was making us dinner. It was Scott and Megan's 1st wedding anniversary so I had asked Alba to make them some Tiramisu as a special dessert! Not only did she make an amazing tiramisu, but dinner was extra good and Paul and I were privileged to share in Scott and Megan's celebration! We also celebrated a bit that night, as during dinner we got a phone call from the orphanage director letting us know that our written rulings had been signed (Yay!) but not sealed yet (Ugh). We were excited for one step closer, but still so frustrated that every day seemed to be another "almost there." Regardless, we were SO happy at the news, but definitely tried to stay realistic. After dinner we sat and talked with Scott and Megan until 11pm before parting ways for bed. It was a good day.

On Tuesday, Scott and Megan left at 4am to head to Kampala to go on a safari, so we said our goodbyes the night before. Paul and I were dragging from the weekend and I was still feeling sick, so we picked up the boys and just headed back to the apartment. God must have known we needed a little break because the boys played together...in our room...for almost 2 full hours...while Paul and I interacted with them from their bed. It was such a nice change for us to be able to just sit for a period of time, and the boys were enjoying every minute of their game! We have large wooden doors for closets/storage in our room, and the boys love hiding in there. So their game became going inside the doors, getting in their car to drive to Kampala, and bringing us back "sweeties", chipati, juice, mangoes, bananas and samosas. It was so sweet and Paul and I were laughing consistently at their antics. At one point J went into the kitchen and said, "Allo!" with his hand to his ear, then continued to babble in Luganda and made-up words while wagging his finger at the air as if he was yelling at someone while on the phone. We got a bunch of it on video, and we were seriously laughing so hard at their imaginations! At 12:30 we made lunch and then got ready for naps. L slept terrible and was up after less than an hour. They often use the excuse to go to the bathroom to get up or get out of different situations, and L was milking his need to go "susu" (pee). J also only slept about an hour and a half, but we made them have quiet time in their bed until we went to get them. Thankfully they are pretty good about this rule, and we are grateful for a little bit of quiet in the middle of the day. Once they were up we did snack, and then they wanted to go right back to their Kampala game. Paul and I again hunkered into the bed (or Jinja as they called it!), and waited to receive all the gifts our boys were bringing. It was a wonderful afternoon, and we so enjoyed watching the boys continue to build their relationship together. At 5:30 we decided to head to the orphanage a little early as we wanted to speak to the director before he left. When we arrived he had already gone, so we stayed and played with the boys for 45 minutes or so before walking to dinner. We went to one of our favorite places in town, and had dinner with the other 2 adoptive moms who are here with us. They were both in a bit of a funk, and Paul and I were trying to encourage them as much as we could. On our walk home from dinner, Paul called the orphanage director to check on our rulings, and thankfully he informed us that they had both been signed and sealed and we were good to go! Can I get an Amen?!?!?! So with that we set up our trip to Kampala for the next day and prayed that things would fall into place. It was hard for us to celebrate though as the other family here did not get their rulings and have been waiting just as long as we have. It's definitely been humbling to have to stifle your emotions in order to be sensitive to others' journey and difficulties. God has taught us so much through this, and I know this is just the beginning!

J in his car!

Wednesday was a good day, and by far our best trip to Kampala. We got to the orphanage at 6:30am, and the boys were dressed and ready to go. We hopped in the car, just the 4 of us, and off we went. The boys were SO much more mellow without the other kids in tow, and it was such a blessing to have a bit of a "break" while on the road. The traffic was pretty bad, and we did not arrive to the lawyer's office until 9:30. We went upstairs and waited while she made the copies of our rulings and court orders for the passport office. During our conversation I filled her in on our passport office fiasco from last week, and she was appalled. When I told her that the officer had kept all of our paperwork, including the pink slip (the most important thing needed to pick up your passports!), she was a bit concerned and decided to come with us (thank you Jesus!). So we all hopped back in the car (with a little less room!), and headed to the passport office. Once we arrived our lawyer did most of the heavy lifting and spoke with our contact A, as well as the green tent people on our behalf. After a 30 minute or so wait, mean passport man from last week, finally came out to speak with our lawyer and she explained the situation and handed him our paperwork. He then went inside to "look it over", however we saw him in the office just hanging out and chatting with other workers, so it was clear he was really concerned. The struggle is real my friends. So...after another 20 minutes of waiting he finally brought out another big book for us to sign, and we saw their passports in his hands! He then spent the next 10 minutes writing who knows what down in that book, before finally calling us over to sign them out. Praise Jesus! We finally had their passports in hand, and our lawyer made a couple copies at the passport office before we skedaddled out of there fast! From there we dropped our lawyer back off and headed to IOM (the medical office) to schedule the boys' medical visits. Unfortunately, Friday was a public holiday so IOM would be closed that day. So after handing over all of our required paperwork, she scheduled both boys for 8am Monday morning, October 12. This part was pretty quick and painless, and was the easiest part of our process by far. After we finished, we grabbed a quick lunch and headed back to Jinja. The boys were pretty tired from getting up so early, and thankfully both of them fell asleep on us for over an hour. By the time they woke up, we were almost back to Jinja and it was such a night and day experience from our previous trips. When we arrived back to the orphanage, they were having a party as the American director is currently in town, and she brought toys, balloons, cake, and food. It seemed fitting for us to have a party after such a great day, and we were smiling at God's love for us. While I stayed with the boys to "celebrate", Paul headed downtown to get some groceries and make copies of our paperwork. The boys were enjoying themselves quite a bit with the new toys, however both of them were staying close to me as compared to previous weeks. It was very reassuring for me! Once Paul got back, we handed over copies of our written rulings to both the American and Ugandan directors of the orphanage, and packed up our boys to take them HOME! They are orphans no more!!! It was so surreal to think that J&L will NEVER have to sleep in an orphanage again and Paul and I were equally excited and nervous all at the same time :) Once we got home we cleaned up, I made a simple dinner, and we sat down for our first dinner as family. You could tell the boys were so curious as to what was going on, but L kept saying "we are staying with you!" We were full of joy and exhaustion (ha!), but ready to take on the challenge. After dinner I gave them their first real bath (they've never sat in a tub bigger than a large pot!), and you better believe I scrubbed their little bodies good! L was excited and hopped right in, but J cried in fear for about 10 minutes, before finally agreeing to sit on the side of the tub. When it came to getting in, he started crying again, and it took Paul standing in there with him, before he would comply. By the end he was sitting and splashing with his brother and all was right in the world :) After bath we got them ready for bed, read, prayed and tucked them in by 7:30. By 7:40 they were asleep and we were SO thankful for a quick transition. J did fall out of bed early in the night (we were still awake sitting the in the hot box known as our kitchen), and we heard his cries and wails of fear. Paul rushed in and calmed him down and he went right back to sleep. I'm sure he was just disoriented (as he normally sleeps in a bunked-crib with rails), but thankfully we had no other episodes in the night. While the boys slept well, Paul and I slept about 2 winks all night as it's SUPER WEIRD to have your kids you've never seen sleep, sleeping in the same room as you. Not to mention, we were afraid of another falling out of bed episode and were awake about every 30 minutes to check on them. Woof. Despite the lack of sleep, it was an awesome day and I wish I could have documented more if it to remember all the little details that came with it. We are blessed.

Waiting at the lawyer's office

Waiting at the passport office in the white tent

Still waiting... 

Waiting for our driver at IOM 

Outside IOM

L sleeping on me 

J sleeping on Paul 

Party at the orphanage!

Dinner as a family of 4!

Their passports!!

Bath time! :)

A bit blurry, but asleep at our apartment for the first time! Thank you Jesus!

On Thursday we had made plans to meet up with Scott and Megan in Kampala and then head to Ngamba Island to a Chimpanzee Sanctuary. While the idea sounded great in theory, we didn't really think through that 1) we would be in Kampala the day before, 2) it would be our first night with the boys, 3) we would have to leave Jinja by 5am to get there on time. What can I say, we're ambitious parents :) So seeing that we already made reservations, after a horrible night of sleep, I got out of bed at 3:50am, got myself ready, woke up Paul at 4:30 to help me gather snacks and water for the day, then woke up the boys to get them ready. We basically got them dressed, brushed teeth and got in the car, but they did well as they were still in a bit of a daze. We hopped in the car with our driver at 5:10am and off we went. The boys were pretty chill in the car since it was still dark out, but when we got to Kampala to pick up Scott and Megan they were definitely much more hyper. Most of it was that they were tired, but we were also squished in a small sedan and we were all HOT AS HECK. I'm not kidding. SO HOT. I can't wait to be cold again! From Kampala we still had another hour+ drive to Entebbe where we would catch our boat to go to the island. Traffic was insane, and even though we were supposed to be there by 8:45, the guide was accommodating and let me know that as long as we got there before 9:30 we'd be all set. Thankfully we arrived at 9:15 and hopped immediately on the boat. The speedboat ride to the island took about 45 minutes, and man was it buuuummmpppy. I can't even explain to you how bumpy it was. It literally shook your insides when the boat came down and hit the water. The 4 of us adults were laughing uncontrollably at the experience, and what's even better, both boys FELL ASLEEP while dealing with the bumps! It was priceless. We got to the island around 10:15, and began our tour with our guide Amos. Amos was very kind, but very into the history and evolution of the island, and while interesting, we were really just there to see the chimps! For example, he continued to correct J&L for calling them monkeys and not apes. I was thinking, for real dude? They're 3 and 4. Just let them call them monkeys! So after our history lesson and tea, we headed over to see the chimps get fed. It was so cool, and the boys were LOVING it. The chimps were howling and grunting and running and clapping and anything else you can think of, and it was so much fun to see! After the feedings we got to go see a baby chimp who is only 5 months old. He was so stinkin' cute, and the boys were mesmerized by him! It was a cool experience, and despite the fatigue level, I'm so glad we did it. At 12:15 we got back on the boat to head back to Entebbe. The boat ride back was much better, and the boys were awake and loving the ride. At one point L looked up at me and said, "Mom!! I'm really like ride the boat!" My heart melted. Literally melted. It was so fun to see the joy on their faces and we enjoyed the ride too! We got back around 1:00, and headed to lunch with Scott and Megan. We ate at a leisurely pace, but the boys were wiped, and at 2:45 it was time to go. We gave hugs to Scott and Megan and said our goodbyes (as they were headed to the airport that night), and hopped back in the car. The ride home was pretty rough. There was SO much traffic, as Friday is a holiday and everyone was driving home for the weekend. We were moving at a snail's pace, and it was pouring rain, so we had to keep the windows up. The boys only slept for 30 minutes, because it was so dang hot inside that car, and we knew it would be a loooonnnggg ride home! We got back to Jinja around 6:30pm and we were all ready to collapse. I heated up some samosas I brought home from the orphanage party on Wednesday, we ate a quick meal, took a bath then headed to bed. The boys were so tired and were out within 5 minutes of laying down. It was a good first day with them, but the best part was the RELIEF that came with not having to drop them off at the orphanage when we got home. Since we arrived here, Thursday was the first day we didn't step foot inside the orphanage multiple times per day. It was so nice, and Paul and I can't really express the weight that was lifted knowing our boys wouldn't go back there again. God is good.

Paul and Scott on the boat!

Me and Megan!

L sleeping on me!

Ngamba Island

Chimps!

Friday was a really good day overall, but Friday night was rough. SO rough. The boys woke up in the morning around 7:00, and were up and about by 7:20. We had a HUGE frog in our bathroom, from who knows where, and L was SO excited he had to come tell us right away :) So running a bit on fumes, we got up, got rid of the frog, then started getting things ready for the day. We had no plans, thank God, so after we brushed our teeth (all 4 of us!), we sat down to eat breakfast in our PJs :) The boys housed some eggs and yogurt, and we were enjoying having them with us for this new routine. After breakfast we got them dressed for the day, which sounds mundane, but I was in HEAVEN! Not only were they the clothes I brought for them, but they fit them so well, and they didn't smell like the orphanage! For the first time in 8 weeks, our boys smelled fresh and clean, and it was truly heaven. Words can't really describe the feeling that accompanies what I felt! In the morning we just hung around the house and the boys played inside. Paul had some work to do, so I watched them for a bit so he could get a few things done. At 11 or so, we put the boys on our backs and headed downtown for some errands. We needed to drop off the clothes the boys wore on Wednesday to the orphanage, get some food for the boys, and Paul and I needed coffees...desperately. So off we went! It was so nice to take our time and be able to do our own family routine. At 12:30 we arrived back home and Paul unpacked the groceries while I made the boys lunch. They ate well, but were clearly still tired, so we got ready for nap and they were out by 1:45. They both slept until after 3:30, and woke up so much more refreshed. Even though it's only been a couple days, the boys have been more mellow overall (especially J!), and we are praying the trend will continue. It's definitely been hard to navigate their needs, and know how to parent them well when we've only known them for such a short time, but we are learning, and so are they, and we are asking God to figure out the rest. We truly need to take it one day at a time (sometimes an hour at a time!) and realize that parenting is the best way to know God's heart, and also the best way to earn our children's trust. These boys have never known trust a day in their lives, and the more we paddle through the mud, the more the waters clear and we are able to move forward. Paul and I are definitely being tested and tried in every way, but we have never wavered in our faith or in the vast love God has for us, and with that, we realized we are winning! Friday afternoon, we headed outside and played with one of the other mom's and her 2 children. The boys did SO well today, the best we've ever seen them do, and we were seriously so proud of them. They were sharing, playing together, asking for things, and just being good kids overall. We had such a GREAT afternoon, and Paul and I were beaming in love. At 6:00, Paul headed out to go grab Ugandan food at a local restaurant and I got the boys ready for dinner. We all ate as a family, and it was such a blessing to see the boys eating well, interacting with each other, interacting with us, and just being normal kids. After dinner we did bath, book and prayers before bed, but then the night took a turn for the worse. We kissed them good night, loved on them a little more, and turned off the lights at 7:45. Fully expecting them to fall asleep, we headed out to the kitchen to clean up and put things away. Well at 9:30 and 9:45 they FINALLY went to sleep...after we had to cover their eyes with our hands and tap/rub their backs FOREVER to get the settled. Paul and I were exhausted from the last 2 days, and were literally running on fumes...it took everything in us to not go ballistic. J was being so defiant and Paul and I were just so frustrated. When they finally went to sleep, we felt like we had just run a marathon, and all we could do was put our heads on the table and take a deep breath. Additionally, it was HOT AS THE DICKENS in our apartment, which didn't help calm our temperament. Ugh. There were also some people, who knows how far away, bumpin' some sick beats (psyche!) as loud as they possibly could. I could feel the base beating in my chest. Thankfully it didn't wake the boys up, but this momma would've gone into dragon mode if they had. Ok. Rant over. In the evening, Paul had some work to do, so he went outside to make some calls, while I worked on some adoption paperwork for the Embassy. The paperwork is seriously never ending, and it won't stop once we're home. For a Friday night, it was a doozy, and I'm looking forward to changing our Friday nights once we're home!

Saturday was...where to even begin. I'll just throw it out there...it was pretty terrible. I mean terrible. After the fiasco of putting the boys to bed so late the night before, Paul and I cleaned up, showered and I journaled before getting into bed around midnight. Soon after, the power went out. All we could think was please God, no! The power goes out fairly often around here and normally it's not a big deal, but when it goes out at night, it's the worst. When there is no power at night, there is no fan, which means our apartment is unbearably hot. Not to mention Uganda is SO LOUD at night. There are rooster crowing, really loud frogs, goats, club music, the works. So when there's no fan, you hear every sound. EVERY SOUND. Paul and I hardly slept a wink due to being so uncomfortable, and the boys were also up almost every hour due to the heat. At 5am the boys were officially up, and Paul and I literally had to peel ourselves out of bed. We knew it was going to be a hard day mainly due to the fact that the boys didn't sleep, however with us having hardly slept in 3 nights, we were struggling. L did fairly well most of the day with only a couple meltdowns, but J was so difficult. Just so difficult. We literally spent 2+ hours inside with him wailing and screaming due to being disciplined, with meltdown after meltdown for the most ridiculous things. He was being so stubborn, defiant and aggressive and all I could do was stand there and cry. At noon we ate lunch and put them down for their nap. They both went down relatively quickly, and we were grateful, because we thought we would never make it to nap time! Paul and I decided to forgo lunch and take a nap while they napped. Good decision. We slept for an hour and the boys slept for 2, which was great. They woke up much better than the morning, but still not quite themselves. Paul and I were still dragging and to be honest it was all we could do to just get through the day. We even tried a movie with them, but they were completely disinterested and we were at a loss for what to do next. At 4:30 we had to get out of the house, so we strapped them on our backs and walked downtown. Paul and I got coffee and dinner at a restaurant and the boys snacked and played relatively well while we ate. It was nice to get out of the apartment, but we were wiped from carrying them while being so tired. At 6:10 we headed back home and we let them play until 6:30 while I heated up dinner (leftovers from the night before!). They ate well and were mostly behaved, which was a much needed reprieve for us. After dinner we gave them a bath, brushed their teeth, read a book, said our prayers and laid them down. Unfortunately tonight was another repeat of the night before, and they did not fall asleep until 9:30. While they were in their bed, not sleeping, all I could do was sit in the kitchen and cry at the emotion of the day. I know most of the difficulty came from us being so tired, but to be honest, we have to be on and attentive all day long, and it's just so trying sometimes. I am also feeling very burdened by J's aggression when he gets so upset, and Paul and I are often at a loss as to how to get through to him. We know things will get better once he trusts us more and gets more settled in a routine at home, but in the meantime, we sometimes feel like we are spinning our wheels with no movement forward. Even while I type this, I know that's not true. We are making progress every day, and things are changing for good, but when you're in the midst of it, it's hard to see the tangible difference day to day. All we can do is give both boys continually over to God, and trust that He will heal the wounds in their hearts that we can't quite reach yet. It's just hard not being able to know exactly what they need. Paul and I LOVE Uganda and we have loved our time here, but this was the first day we were truly longing for the comforts of home. Most of the time we're good and we can deal with the difficulties that come with living in a 3rd world country, but when you're tired and hot and walking all day with children who need consistent attention and love due to deep wounds, it can become a bit overwhelming. We are looking forward to beginning our own routine in Charlottesville, and being able to count on the support of friends and family to help us through <3 

On Sunday we skipped church (heathens, I know) and decided to just lay low. We were still feeling so wiped from the past few days and we needed to re-charge. The boys were up at 6:30am, but we made them stay in their bed until 7:15. At 7:30, Paul got up with them and let me sleep in until 8:00. I haven't slept until 8:00 in over 2 months, and it was so nice to let my body rest. I could've cried for joy. At 8:00 I joined the party, and together we got the boys dressed and made/ate breakfast. It was raining on and off all morning, so the boys mostly played inside. At 10:00 Paul took the boys for a walk (we borrowed a stroller from another family for the day...yay!), and I stayed home. Paul took the boys downtown for their snack and then got us some coffee for the day! He also stopped at the grocery store to get a couple things, and he let the boys get out and walk. They have never done this before, and Paul said it was clear they loved the adventure! While they were gone, I read my Bible, worshiped, journaled, prayed and rested. It was AMAZING. Literally amazing. I can't even tell you how much I needed these 2 hours. It was such a time of refreshing for me, and I felt much better once I was done. God is faithful. The boys returned around 12:15 and I was greeted by L yelling, "Mommy, I missed you!" It was awesome :) I could've squished his little cheeks for days! Once we unloaded the groceries, the boys ate lunch and then we got them ready for their nap. L fell asleep fairly quickly, but J took more than 30 minutes to settle in. J will definitely need to learn some self-soothing techniques once we're home, and I plan on trying a weighted blanket with him to help down-regulate his nervous system. Today I literally had to lay half my body on him to get him to settle down enough to go to sleep. It's always a very emotional time for me, but I'm seeing the change it makes in him, and it's worth the effort. After lunch the boys played inside and out, but the weather was iffy so it made staying outside for longer periods of time difficult. For dinner we decided to take the boys out (again, I like to call us ambitious instead of crazy!), and overall they did well. They are familiar with the restaurant we went to, so that helps a lot with their comfort level. It was SO nice to have the stroller for the day, and it made the walking SO much more bearable. Tomorrow we are going to Kampala at 5am, so we are praying the boys will sleep well as we know it will be a long day. 

This week we will be starting part 1 of the Embassy process, and we will be going to Kampala on Monday and Wednesday to get the boys' medical exams done. On Monday they will do their intakes and then do Tb and HIV testing (please pray for this, as we've seen J get a shot and it took 4 women from the orphanage to hold him down...Needless to say we're a little concerned), and Wednesday will be their physicals and Tb checks. Once this is complete it takes a week for the paperwork to get to the Embassy, so we are praying we get our first appointment with them on the 21st; but realistically it should be no later than the 26th. The first appointment consists of our document check, to which they will go through all of our paperwork with a fine tooth comb, as well as go through our financial records to make sure we are financially fit to be parents. Crazy, I know. Once this is complete, we will go back 2 days later for our Visa interview. Here they will interview us to make sure we know the boys' history and background as well as ask some questions about our life at home. The boys' biological relatives (that we had at court) will also need to be present as they will be interviewed to make sure they understand the permanency of the process. Because there has been so much child trafficking that happens through adoption, the Embassy is strict on making sure the biological relatives are fully informed and that there are no misunderstandings. This shouldn't be an issue for us, but we are still praying things go smoothly with no hiccups. If all continues to plan, we are hoping to fly out on Tuesday, November 3 in order to arrive back in Dulles on November 4!!! We are super excited, but trying not to get our hopes up until our butts are in those airplane seats! Please continue to pray us home!

This journey has been and continues to be so crazy, but we have seen God's hand all over our family, and words can't describe the love that we have for both J&L. They are true reminders of God's love for us, and not a day goes by where we don't thank God for His provision. While things have been trying, we have never felt closer to God or to each other. Paul and I have worked really hard to remain on the same page despite the emotions of each day, and I can't thank God enough for Paul's ability to be here during this time in-country. He has literally been a rockstar and I'm not sure what I would've done without him here. Not only has he been loving, patient and attentive with the boys, but he has worked every day during our down time to provide for us financially, has taken the boys a few mornings on his own to let me rest, and all without a single complaint. Words can't express how blessed I am to have him as my husband. His love for me and the boys is evident in his daily actions, and I couldn't imagine going through this process with anyone else <3 When he gets home make sure you give him a high-five, because he totally deserves it! Or take him out for a burger...He'll enjoy that too!

As things continue to move forward, we can't thank you all enough for your e-mails of excitement, prayers and encouragement. On days when we feel weary and downcast your words always lift us up, and help us continue to press on. God has given us such awesome friends and family during this time, and we don't even want to imagine what this would be like without all of you! You have helped us through the good times and bad, and for that our hearts are forever grateful. 

As we get closer to coming home, we ask that you consider sharing our Go Fund Me link on your social media accounts (http://www.gofundme.com/6x9s6sf45d). We are so close to the finish line, and every dollar helps get us one step closer to our end goal. Your generosity has been unparalleled over the last year, and we would not have made it this far without your kindness! We love you all so much and we can't wait to see you all soon!

Love from Uganda,