WE GOT BOTH OUR VERBAL RULINGS TODAY!!!!!!!!! A YES TO BOTH J&L!!!!!!!!!!! Praise Jesus!!!!!!!!!! We are so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our lawyer said it may be up to 3 more weeks until we get our written rulings, but we are praying it will be quicker than that! Our judge will be on vacation next week, so we are believing we will have our written rulings the week of September 14! Please continue to keep us in your prayers--we need them!!
Buuuuuut as of right today they are {verbally} our sons! Now to get the papers to prove it! :)
Wishing we could celebrate with you all!
Friday, September 4, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Week 2...Phew!
Wow, where to even begin this week. To be honest we are exhausted, tired, and dirty, but enjoying every day to the fullest! This week started off at a fast pace as we had a lot of things to finish up on Monday to get ready for court. It was a busy day, but we thankfully got everything done and were in bed at a reasonable time. Unfortunately neither of us could sleep very well due to our jitters, and when the alarm went off on Tuesday morning we both only got about 4-5 hours.
We got to the orphanage around 7:30am and read with the boys for about 30 minutes. Then we said goodbye to L, packed up J and were on the road by 8:05. It was a 2.5 hour drive to Kampala and we picked up J's biological relatives on the way into town. We arrived at the lawyer's office at 10:15 and waited while the family got de-briefed one last time (basically to confirm all the details our lawyer had been previously given and allow them to share anything new). We were at the courthouse by 11am for our appointment, and then the wait began. At noon we all went downstairs to the "Food Canteen" to eat lunch. It was a little hole in the wall place that was filthy, but the food was good and J scarfed all of his down!
After lunch we headed back upstairs to continue waiting. We changed J into his court clothes and let him play a while. He was still getting over a cold, so in general he was lethargic and snuggly, but definitely still wanted to play. After about another hour of waiting we went outside to take some pictures with J's biological family. I know someday he will ask about them and I wanted him to be able to see their faces when we have that discussion. In general they were a bit standoffish, but not unkind. They were silent most of the day, even when Paul and I tried to engage with them, but we still tried to get J to spend some time with them throughout the day. After 4.5 hours of waiting, the judge finally took us in at 3:15pm.
He started off by asking our lawyer to confirm all the details of our application and spent 30 minutes reviewing details of our case...who we are, our financial status, our stability and what recommendations we have. After that he began questioning the biological relatives one at a time. He made them stand up in front of him one at a time and questioned them individually. It was all in Lugandan so Paul and I were pretty clueless, but it seemed to go well. We were nervous for J to be listening to the family getting questioned as he would understand in Lugandan, but because he wasn't feeling well he slept on Paul and I the entire first hour. We were SO happy! After he was done questioning the family, he started on me. All of his questions came after a long-winded story or anecdote and often it was hard to know if he was even asking a question! He started with a lot of questions as to why we don't have biological children. He pushed me hard and poked fun at me saying that I didn't want to disfigure my body, that I didn't want to handle the labor pains, that I was scared, etc. It was ridiculous, but I just let him talk until he was finished. I went in with the strategy of keeping my answers short and sweet, and that's exactly what I did. I merely answered that we also wanted to have biological children. He then told me that we wanted these children merely as "ornaments" and it would fit our "American lifestyle" to have them. I merely denied this and moved on. From there he went into religion. J's family is Muslim and he told me that by Ugandan Law I had to raise him Muslim. I stated that J has been raised in a Christian orphanage for the last 4 years and no matter what his family's religion is, he is Christian and we will raise him that way. He then made me read the religion section out of the Ugandan Law Book aloud for everyone to hear. It basically stated that if the family's religion is known than the adoptive parents had to raise the child that way, but if the family's religion is unknown than they could raise the child however they wanted. He then said, "So now what do you think?" I again repeated the same answer and he asked me if I wanted the family to know this. I said yes, and he made the social worker get up and tell the family what I had said. He then asked them to recite different Muslim prayers, which they could not do because they are not practicing Muslims, and then looked at me and told me we could raise J as a Christian. It was unreal. He was really just trying to ruffle my feathers, but I just tried to stay confident in my answers and he finally told me I could sit down. Phew! In total we were in his chambers for 2.5 hours and it took all my strength not to run out of there.
During the day J was awesome!!!! He played so well by himself and was patient and snuggly most of the day. It was nice to spend some one on one time with him all day, and you could tell how much he lit up with our undivided attention. He was awake most of the ride home and was in awe at all the lights of the city and the amount of cars/vehicles all around. He was such a happy boy most of the day, but as we got closer to the orphanage he was getting more and more upset. He started getting fussy and cranky when we were about 5 minutes away and as soon as we pulled in he started screaming and crying. I got out of the van and tried to pick him up, but he was thrashing and kicking and hitting to the point that I could not contain him. Paul grabbed him from me and finally got him to calm down, but he was SO mad at us he wouldn't even say goodbye. It was heartbreaking. I'm sure he thought we were dropping him off for good, but it was still so difficult after the great day we had with him. We knew he was exhausted from the long day which was contributing, but we also know he doesn't understand all that's happening and was fighting his instinct to remain unattached. We both know this is something we will have to work through to gain his full trust, but it was so difficult for all of us. Once he let us touch him, we gave him hugs and told him we would see him tomorrow and off we went. Our relief from the day ended with deflation, but we told ourselves this is part of the process and we have to give his emotions to God. It's still just so hard.
The next morning we again arrived at the orphanage at 7:30am. Thankfully J ran right up to us and said "up, please!" with wide, outstretched arms, and it was clear he was not still mad from the night before. Praise Jesus! We read with both boys again for about 20 minutes, but it was clear J did not know that just L was coming with us. When it was time for us to leave, we got L ready and sat J down to tell him again that he was not going today. Again he started crying and yelling at the disappointment of it all. A worker at the orphanage let us kiss him goodbye and then scooped him up to help us leave on time. When we walked out he was still so upset and Paul and I again had to give him over to God.
L was SO excited to be going with us and was telling everyone we saw, "I am going to Kampala!!" He is such a ham and it was precious to see his joy. L is quite the talker and understands almost everything in English, so it was fun to see his reaction to everything. He was pointing out colors, shapes, cars, trees, animals, and anything else he knew...and what he didn't know he was asking us to tell him :) He was actually so excited in the early part of the day he was stuttering to get his words out. It was so sweet. The drive to Kampala was much longer on our 2nd day and we didn't arrive to the lawyer's office until 11:30. The biological family was more spread out on our way in and we had to wait a few times for them to arrive. Additionally, we were traveling with another family who had court right after us, and their son had to pee a few times as well. It was quite the trip :) After the family was debriefed we headed to the courthouse and immediately went to lunch. L also scarfed down ALL his food and Paul and I gave him some of ours as well. After lunch we changed him into his little suit and began the wait. L was much more active than J, but was still so well-behaved. He played for over 4 hours with just a matchbox car, a coloring book and 2 reading books. It was pretty impressive.
Our court appointment was again at 11am and he didn't see us until 4:35...It was a long wait. We were in his chambers for 2 hours this time, and he questioned me much more than he did the day before. Again about biological children...why I'm not pregnant when I have no medical reason not to be...he called me a bad wife for not "tending to my field and respecting my husband", then he asked every Ugandan in the room if they knew anybody who had been married for 6 years and did not have children. It was again such a show! He then went into bloodline and "flesh and blood"...will I treat them like my biological children...if we don't have any children Paul's last name would not be carried on, etc. I simply stated that we wanted these children first, we wanted to adopt first and of course we would treat them as if I birthed them. I also told him that regardless of whether or not they are my biological children, they will carry on Paul's last name because they are our flesh and blood. He scoffed a bit at me but thankfully moved on. His last big topic was regarding the fact that we are adopting 2. He then went on a tangent comparing me to Oliver Twist because I "wanted more." Then he told me he would not give me 2, he would only give me 1 and I had to choose between them. Of course I said I would never choose and I would fight for both of them. He then asked me to choose in 4 different ways (pick from a hat, have someone else pick, eeny meeny miny moe, etc). I repeated myself 4 times to which he finally let me sit down. It was brutal and I had a severe headache most of the time we were in court, which made it so much worse, but I was SO happy when it was over!! Thankfully L was content quietly playing with Paul almost the whole time, so I didn't have to worry about how he was doing. It was a huge sigh of relief when we finally walked out of there!
Additionally, things with L's biological family went SO well. I felt so blessed by God in this regard!! After court we had to wait for the other couple to get through their court appointment, so we spent the time with L's family taking pictures and drinking some water. Before they left, L's grandfather asked if he could pray for us and it was incredible!! He laid hands on all of us and prayed for safety, peace, provision, abundance and blessing. He prayed for God to come and reside over us and for God to carry L through a prosperous life. I was in tears and so humbled by his kindness toward us. It was a perfect end to our time with them.
The other couple was done around 8:30pm and we headed back to Jinja (3 hours!). In total it was an 18 hour day and needless to say we were ready to be home. L slept on Paul most of the ride home and was still sleeping when we got back to the orphanage. We were so happy we didn't have to go through the same anger and sadness as we had to with J, and when we saw them again the next morning, all was well. It has been so hard to see the sadness in their eyes and the hurt in their hearts through all of this, and Paul and I are constantly trying to navigate their needs (as well as ours), and trying to let God do the rest. This is just such a crazy process!
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| Court outfits! |
We got to the orphanage around 7:30am and read with the boys for about 30 minutes. Then we said goodbye to L, packed up J and were on the road by 8:05. It was a 2.5 hour drive to Kampala and we picked up J's biological relatives on the way into town. We arrived at the lawyer's office at 10:15 and waited while the family got de-briefed one last time (basically to confirm all the details our lawyer had been previously given and allow them to share anything new). We were at the courthouse by 11am for our appointment, and then the wait began. At noon we all went downstairs to the "Food Canteen" to eat lunch. It was a little hole in the wall place that was filthy, but the food was good and J scarfed all of his down!
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| Sitting on my lap, but keeping Paul close :) |
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| J enjoying the ride with Daddy |
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| Where we ate lunch! |
After lunch we headed back upstairs to continue waiting. We changed J into his court clothes and let him play a while. He was still getting over a cold, so in general he was lethargic and snuggly, but definitely still wanted to play. After about another hour of waiting we went outside to take some pictures with J's biological family. I know someday he will ask about them and I wanted him to be able to see their faces when we have that discussion. In general they were a bit standoffish, but not unkind. They were silent most of the day, even when Paul and I tried to engage with them, but we still tried to get J to spend some time with them throughout the day. After 4.5 hours of waiting, the judge finally took us in at 3:15pm.
During the day J was awesome!!!! He played so well by himself and was patient and snuggly most of the day. It was nice to spend some one on one time with him all day, and you could tell how much he lit up with our undivided attention. He was awake most of the ride home and was in awe at all the lights of the city and the amount of cars/vehicles all around. He was such a happy boy most of the day, but as we got closer to the orphanage he was getting more and more upset. He started getting fussy and cranky when we were about 5 minutes away and as soon as we pulled in he started screaming and crying. I got out of the van and tried to pick him up, but he was thrashing and kicking and hitting to the point that I could not contain him. Paul grabbed him from me and finally got him to calm down, but he was SO mad at us he wouldn't even say goodbye. It was heartbreaking. I'm sure he thought we were dropping him off for good, but it was still so difficult after the great day we had with him. We knew he was exhausted from the long day which was contributing, but we also know he doesn't understand all that's happening and was fighting his instinct to remain unattached. We both know this is something we will have to work through to gain his full trust, but it was so difficult for all of us. Once he let us touch him, we gave him hugs and told him we would see him tomorrow and off we went. Our relief from the day ended with deflation, but we told ourselves this is part of the process and we have to give his emotions to God. It's still just so hard.
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| Showing J pictures of himself :) |
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| Playing with his matchbox car when we was so tuckered out |
L was SO excited to be going with us and was telling everyone we saw, "I am going to Kampala!!" He is such a ham and it was precious to see his joy. L is quite the talker and understands almost everything in English, so it was fun to see his reaction to everything. He was pointing out colors, shapes, cars, trees, animals, and anything else he knew...and what he didn't know he was asking us to tell him :) He was actually so excited in the early part of the day he was stuttering to get his words out. It was so sweet. The drive to Kampala was much longer on our 2nd day and we didn't arrive to the lawyer's office until 11:30. The biological family was more spread out on our way in and we had to wait a few times for them to arrive. Additionally, we were traveling with another family who had court right after us, and their son had to pee a few times as well. It was quite the trip :) After the family was debriefed we headed to the courthouse and immediately went to lunch. L also scarfed down ALL his food and Paul and I gave him some of ours as well. After lunch we changed him into his little suit and began the wait. L was much more active than J, but was still so well-behaved. He played for over 4 hours with just a matchbox car, a coloring book and 2 reading books. It was pretty impressive.
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| L captivated by the drive! |
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| Playing with daddy's watch. He REFUSED to take his backpack off! |
Our court appointment was again at 11am and he didn't see us until 4:35...It was a long wait. We were in his chambers for 2 hours this time, and he questioned me much more than he did the day before. Again about biological children...why I'm not pregnant when I have no medical reason not to be...he called me a bad wife for not "tending to my field and respecting my husband", then he asked every Ugandan in the room if they knew anybody who had been married for 6 years and did not have children. It was again such a show! He then went into bloodline and "flesh and blood"...will I treat them like my biological children...if we don't have any children Paul's last name would not be carried on, etc. I simply stated that we wanted these children first, we wanted to adopt first and of course we would treat them as if I birthed them. I also told him that regardless of whether or not they are my biological children, they will carry on Paul's last name because they are our flesh and blood. He scoffed a bit at me but thankfully moved on. His last big topic was regarding the fact that we are adopting 2. He then went on a tangent comparing me to Oliver Twist because I "wanted more." Then he told me he would not give me 2, he would only give me 1 and I had to choose between them. Of course I said I would never choose and I would fight for both of them. He then asked me to choose in 4 different ways (pick from a hat, have someone else pick, eeny meeny miny moe, etc). I repeated myself 4 times to which he finally let me sit down. It was brutal and I had a severe headache most of the time we were in court, which made it so much worse, but I was SO happy when it was over!! Thankfully L was content quietly playing with Paul almost the whole time, so I didn't have to worry about how he was doing. It was a huge sigh of relief when we finally walked out of there!
Additionally, things with L's biological family went SO well. I felt so blessed by God in this regard!! After court we had to wait for the other couple to get through their court appointment, so we spent the time with L's family taking pictures and drinking some water. Before they left, L's grandfather asked if he could pray for us and it was incredible!! He laid hands on all of us and prayed for safety, peace, provision, abundance and blessing. He prayed for God to come and reside over us and for God to carry L through a prosperous life. I was in tears and so humbled by his kindness toward us. It was a perfect end to our time with them.
The other couple was done around 8:30pm and we headed back to Jinja (3 hours!). In total it was an 18 hour day and needless to say we were ready to be home. L slept on Paul most of the ride home and was still sleeping when we got back to the orphanage. We were so happy we didn't have to go through the same anger and sadness as we had to with J, and when we saw them again the next morning, all was well. It has been so hard to see the sadness in their eyes and the hurt in their hearts through all of this, and Paul and I are constantly trying to navigate their needs (as well as ours), and trying to let God do the rest. This is just such a crazy process!
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| L sleeping on Paul |
On Thursday we let ourselves sleep in a bit and got ready at a lazy pace. We both felt like we had been hit by a truck and we were definitely dragging most of the day. We went to the orphanage around 10 and stayed with boys until 12:30 before heading back to our apartment for lunch. We ate some peanut butter sandwiches and then both took an hour nap :) We headed back to the orphanage around 3:30 and took the boys to another family's house near the lake. We let them play and run around in a gated yard, which was nice to not have to be watching like a hawk every minute. We took them back for dinner and bedtime around 6:30 and then headed to dinner with some of the other families in town.
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| Carrier time! Thank you ACAC!! |
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| J held on tight, but loved it :) |
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| Swinging by the lake! |
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| Thirsty boys! |
On Friday we definitely felt much more awake, but still so mentally and emotionally tired. We took the boys to our friend's house again in the morning and let them run around and feed the chickens. L LOVES to chase the chickens and we showed him how to get the baby chicks to eat out of his hand. He was in heaven :) J is still very afraid of animals and loud noises, so he stayed close to us most of the time. Both of the boys love to sing and they were singing songs and dancing most of the morning as well. It is so precious to hear! After their naps we picked them up at 3:45 and went to the Jinja Sailing Club. The views are so beautiful and the boys LOVED seeing all the boats pass by. There is also a small playground there (really meant more for babies), but J&L were playing with 3 other adopted Ugandans and were enjoying themselves thoroughly. It was a long walk back to the orphanage but L wanted to walk, so he helped Paul push the stroller. Halfway through the walk back he said, "Daddy I'm tired!", but at that point we already had 2 kids in the stroller so he walked the rest of the way. Overall, they have been good when we take them out, but there is still quite a language barrier with J which makes it more difficult. We often ask L to help translate which helps quite a bit.
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| We were able to take the stroller to the Sailing Club! |
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| Jinja Sailing Club |
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| L helping Paul push and another friend from the orphanage walking beside |
Saturday we went to the "forest" to feed the monkeys, but unfortunately there were no monkeys in sight. We ended up having a picnic on the ground near the source of the Nile river and let the boys run around. There was also a hammock, so we tucked them in and swung them side to side which was a love/hate relationship. As long as we were gentle they were so excited, but J definitely got a bit scared as we swung higher. In the afternoon, we were extra tired so we stayed at the orphanage and let the kiddos play outside. We pushed on swings and jumped on the trampoline and read books, all in all a good day.
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| Hammock fun! |
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| Paul carrying L and pushing J and another little J in the stroller. Boss. |
This morning we went to breakfast with 3 other families and recharged our batteries with some iced coffee! It was a little slice of heaven! After breakfast we tried a new church called Victoria Baptist Church. On Saturday night when we were walking home, we heard them belting out the song "Break Every Chain"...we liked it so much we decided to try them out. The service was longer, about 2 hours, but it was very good and everyone was so kind and hospitable. It was nice to meet some of the locals and even more wonderful to hear their stories. We are really enjoying this beautiful town we're in. After church we headed home and relaxed a bit since the boys were at their church most of the morning. This afternoon we plan to spend the afternoon with J&L and then come back to our apartment where our Italian landlord is going to cook us a mean lasagna. We are having a sort of going away dinner for one of the other families who has completed their process and are heading home on Wednesday. They have been here over 4 months, so they are excited to begin their lives at home with their kiddos! It was a great Sunday and Paul and I spent some much needed time resting and regrouping.
This week has been a huge roller coster of emotions, and Paul and I have been trying to talk through everything as often as possible to make sure were on the same page. Most the of time it's exhausting, and sometimes we find ourselves getting frustrated, but we're trying to realize that as much as they are growing, so are we, and when it's all said and done we're doing the best we can. Everyday we are growing more in love with these little ones, and I'm beginning to see a glimpse of God's heart toward us, while we're pursuing the heart of our boys. God loves these little lives more than I ever could, and anytime I feel like I'm reaching my breaking point, I remember that and trust Him to take care of the rest.
We can't thank you enough for your support and encouragement! Please keep the e-mails coming, because we LOVE to hear from you. It's been hard to be away from everyone we love and all we know, but we know you are with us in spirit and we are excited for a grand reunion on the other side of this :)
Praying you are all well! xo
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Week 1 :)
Hi All,
I'm not quite sure where to begin! It's been a whirlwind! Things have been so crazy and exhausting and awesome all at the same time! We arrived late Tuesday night in Uganda, got our visas, picked up our luggage (all of them arrived, yay!!), and then drove 2 hours to where we were staying. It was a long haul (almost 24 hours in total), but we were so happy to have finally arrived. We went to bed around 3am and were up by 7 to get ready and meet the boys. We were definitely running on pure adrenaline, but we were so excited we could hardly stand it :)
Besides spending days with them, we've been all over the place trying to get our affairs in order for court. On Saturday we had to make the 3 hour drive (one way) to the capital city of Kampala to see the palace and parliament per our judge's request. We also had to meet with our lawyer for a de-briefing before court, and he was able to answer any questions we may have as well. It was a long day, but one step closer to the goal. The best part of going to Kampala was that we got to see our Ugandan friends, Emmanuel and Clare. They were who we spent all of our time with when we came to Uganda last year, and it was such a treat for us to spend some of the afternoon with them.
I'm not quite sure where to begin! It's been a whirlwind! Things have been so crazy and exhausting and awesome all at the same time! We arrived late Tuesday night in Uganda, got our visas, picked up our luggage (all of them arrived, yay!!), and then drove 2 hours to where we were staying. It was a long haul (almost 24 hours in total), but we were so happy to have finally arrived. We went to bed around 3am and were up by 7 to get ready and meet the boys. We were definitely running on pure adrenaline, but we were so excited we could hardly stand it :)
The boys came to our guest house around 9:30am and another family was able to video our meeting. While I can't post it on here, I look forward to sharing it with all of you when we're home! The boys did so well meeting us, and they walked right up to us once they got out of the car! They let us hold them and pick them up, but they were definitely intrigued by us and everything new in their surroundings. Here's a picture a few minutes after we first met them :)
From there we went to the orphanage to speak with the in-country director and got the low down of the week's events. After that, we took the boys with us to go see the palace in Jinja (the town we're staying in) and then brought them back for their lunch and nap. Paul and I and another couple here went to lunch then went to look at some apartments for us to move into. The original guest house we had booked was fine, but we had mice, bats and cockroaches in the first 2 days and we soon realized it wouldn't be conducive for months of living. Thankfully we found a beautiful little apartment just a couple blocks away that is owned by a sweet Italian lady named Alba. Our apartment has a small "kitchen", a good sized bathroom and a large bedroom with 2 beds for us and the boys. Not to mention it is significantly cleaner than where we were before. It's been a welcome change.
Everyday we head to the orphanage around 9am and play with the boys until noon. We've taken then out a handful of times to stay with us and spend time with us outside, but we're still so exhausted from little sleep and travel that we are trying to respect our own limits, as well as make sure they feel comfortable with us the whole time. During the break from 12-3 they eat lunch and nap, to which we often walk downtown to get some food and then run errands (getting pictures developed that we need for court, buying fans and power strips, getting our phone minutes and internet set-up, etc.). Around 3:30 we typically head back to the orphanage and stay until 6:15 when they go for dinner and bedtime. They have overall been SO good with us and are already learning and adapting so much.
Ever since the second day we met them, when we arrive at the orphanage they come running like tiny torpedos into our arms. It's been wonderful!! Both boys are just so sweet and loving, and Paul and I have been blown away by them! L is SO smart! He picks up on everything and his English is very good! I can tell him something once and every time he remembers it. He is definitely a mischievous one though and I know it will take him a little time to fully trust us. J definitely has some developmental (not cognitive) delays, including a need for some speech therapy, but he also picks on everything and has learned so much just in a few days! It's been so incredible to see the light in their eyes and the joy in their hearts. We're pretty much melting with love! Nevertheless, there is so much orphan mentality in them and it's been challenging for us to navigate their needs and expectations when we take them out of the orphanage to do something with us. It is often a lot of calm disciplining and reminders to not take/eat/grab everything in sight! One of the saddest things is that they give them shoes at the orphanage when we are there (or taking them with us), which is a VERY special thing. Unless you're being adopted, you don't get shoes. So when we're with our boys, all of the kids try to rip the shoes off their feet and our boys immediately start crying. It's heartbreaking to see their deep wounds that come from having nothing to their name and knowing nothing else, but we are already so encouraged by their gains in just a week! We are trying to teach them that they will have things and this is not just a one time deal. It's been so hard! Paul and I are quickly learning how to be parents, but trying to give ourselves some grace at the same time. We're realizing we will never be perfect at this ;)
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| J on the left and L on the right |
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| Super dad pushing the double stroller! They LOVED it! |
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| Snuggling J |
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| Snuggling L |
Besides spending days with them, we've been all over the place trying to get our affairs in order for court. On Saturday we had to make the 3 hour drive (one way) to the capital city of Kampala to see the palace and parliament per our judge's request. We also had to meet with our lawyer for a de-briefing before court, and he was able to answer any questions we may have as well. It was a long day, but one step closer to the goal. The best part of going to Kampala was that we got to see our Ugandan friends, Emmanuel and Clare. They were who we spent all of our time with when we came to Uganda last year, and it was such a treat for us to spend some of the afternoon with them.
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| King's Palace in Kampala |
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| Idi Amin's torture chambers at the Palace |
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| Sweet Clare |
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| Paul and Emmanuel |
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| Near downtown Jinja! Say what?! |
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| Part of our walk home :) |
This morning we went to church at Arise Africa which was also wonderful. It was so nice to see these beautiful people worship and Paul and I were both humbled by their hearts. We hope to try a couple more churches in the area before we make a decision on our "home church" while we're here :)
On Tuesday this week we have court for J and on Wednesday court for L. Our judge is supposed to see us at 11am, but it's not uncommon to wait until 4, 5, 6, or 7pm before he will see us. We are praying he will come quickly and that our time in his chambers will also be short. I am SO nervous about him questioning me, and have been continually praying for peace. Our lawyer again confirmed that I will most likely get the brunt of his questions, but I am believing he will be kind and that I will be eloquent and concise in my answers...but that doesn't mean I'm not still freaking out :) Both days we will leave for Kampala (3 hours) at around 7:30am and may not be home until 9 or 10pm. If you think of us on Tuesday or Wednesday please be praying for us!! Prayer requests include:
1) That the judge will see us quickly and not make us wait all day
2) That both J and L will be calm and peaceful...that they will play quietly and not be nervous or scared at these new surroundings...that they will be able to endure the long day without their normal routine in place
3) That I will be calm and peaceful and will be able to answer and understand all the questions he asks me
4) That we will be able to be a blessing to the families of J and L, and that anything that needs to come out will happen before they are questioned by the judge (any living biological relatives of our boys will need to appear in court and testify that the adoption release they signed was not via a bribe or that they were not under duress. Additionally, the judge needs to make sure they understand that the boys will not be coming back. For us it is mainly grandparents, but I would still love to bless them in some way).
5) That we would have endurance and energy throughout the day to make it through the 6+ hours in the car, court and all the newness of having a toddler with us :)
Thank you in advance!
Ever since we arrived we have felt so much peace at God's hand on our adoption, and we can't wait to see His plan unfold. We are consistently reminding ourselves to be patient and kind, and to simply trust God every step of the way. We know each step is a huge hurdle, but we are confident of this path and we are excited for the journey.
We hope you are all doing well and we miss seeing your faces! We so look forward to being able to share more of our boys when we can, and we can't wait to have them finally home to share in person!
We will be updating as often as we can, but probably not more than once a week. We can't thank you all enough for your love and support and we hope you continue to follow along on this journey.
We love you!
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Leaving on a jet plane!
The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind for both of us as we've been trying to get our affairs in order. We've both been exhausted and stressed trying to get everything ready, but the closer it gets to leaving, the more it's starting to sink in! The thought of us going is still very surreal. We have been in a holding process for such a long period of time and we still can't quite fathom that the day is finally here! This journey has been a roller coaster of emotions from the very beginning and we know our time in Uganda will be about the same. We are overjoyed by the thought of being able to spend time with our boys in their home country, but are definitely praying for a smooth transition for them and for us. We will be taking them away from everything they've ever known, but we know Gods hand had been over this from day 1, and we can't wait to see His plan unfold over the next 3 months (and 30+ years!).
This morning as we were finishing packing things up I stopped and stared into our boys room envisioning how much are lives are going to change and how joyful it will be to finally have them home. Below are some pictures of their room. I love it. Every time I look in there it reminds me of Gods faithfulness and how despite our own frustrations, His timing is perfect.
We can't thank you all enough for your kindness, support and generosity throughout this journey. Our time in country is still just the middle of a continued process once we return home, but we have been blessed by all of you and humbled by your hearts toward us.
We ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers as we have many hurdles to jump. Prayer requests up front would be:
1) For the boys to attach quickly to us, feel safe with us, want to be with us and trust our decisions. That no ill word spoken over them would manifest and that they will be filled with peace during this crazy transition.
2) Safety while in the country and while traveling. That all of our bags arrive with nothing missing or stolen. That would be be healthy the whole time were there.
3) For our interactions with the judge, but especially for his questioning of me...that I will be peaceful and eloquent in my answers.
4) Favor with everyone we come in contact with, but specifically with the judge, passport office and embassy visa interview.
We are planning to do a Go Fund Me account while we are in the country to help cover the costs of our airfare home. Please feel free to share the link! http://www.gofundme.com/6x9s6sf45d
We can't wait to be home with our boys and to begin this new season of our lives. We love you all so much and hope you will continue to partner with us during this journey!
Here we go!!
Friday, July 24, 2015
AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Ya'll,
Grab a chair and sit down, because we GOT OUR COURT DATES!!!!!!!!!! We are beyond excited (and a little scared!) to be going to meet OUR BOYS!! We received an e-mail from our director on Thursday afternoon letting us know our court dates are going to be August 25 and August 26!!! As of right now we are planning to leave the weekend of August 15 to make sure we are there a week before our date. This will give us enough time to do a few required things before we meet our sons!!! That's right I said our sons!!! So for those of you who are a little unsure of our process in country here's a quick re-cap:
1) Arrive on August 17: we will plan to stay in the capital city of Kampala for the first few days to see the tombs of the kings, parliament and few other historic landmarks that are required by our judge. We need to document us there with pictures, so we want to get this out of the way ASAP.
2) Travel to Jinja to meet our boys: Our boys are in an orphanage in Jinja which is about a 3 hour drive from Kampala. We will plan to stay at a guest house in Jinja for the first 3-4 weeks until we have the official ruling from our judge
3) August 25: Court for J-man :) Please pray for this...our judge is very erratic and very hard on the adoptive mom (that's me!). From what I've heard he will question the mom for up to 2 hours while asking the adoptive father maybe 1 or 2 questions. I will need peace for this as I'm already a little anxious as to what he will ask. I will be coached by our lawyer in Uganda prior to court, but I will take all the prayers I can get!
4) August 26: Court for L-man :) Pray for this too! Pray that the boys both have peace and will feel comfortable sitting on our laps for most of this time. Additionally, any living relatives of the boys will need to be at their respective court dates. Please pray we can bless them in some way and that we can form a good rapport.
5) Wait... After court we wait for the verbal ruling from our judge. This is typically 1-1.5 weeks. After we get the verbal ruling, then we wait for the written ruling...again another 1-1.5 weeks. We're believing to have both rulings within 2 weeks. During this time we will be going back and forth to the orphanage to spend time with the boys.
6) Move to Kampala: Once we have their written rulings, we will plan to move to a guest house in Kampala. This place is a little nicer (more consistent electricity and a washing machine!) and the house mom Harriet will cook us meals. This is the first time we will have the boys stay overnight with us, so pray for peace for them and that they will feel safe with us.
7) Passports: Once we get their written rulings we can apply for their passports. This process can take anywhere from 5 days to 4+ weeks. Most people expedite this process by paying bribes to the officials. Paul and I will not be doing that, but we ask God's favor over this step so HE will expedite it for us :)
8) IOM (International Organization for Migration): This is the medical exams our boys will need to have prior to leaving the country. They will be tested for Tb and a slew of other illness to ensure they don't need further treatment before entering the United States. After their initial exams we will head back 3 days later for their follow-up. If this is approved then they will send the paperwork over to the embassy for processing (typically 3-5 days).
9) Embassy Part 1: Once the embassy receives the paperwork from IOM we will be contacted for a document check interview. This entails an embassy official going through our paperwork to make sure everything is accounted for, legitimate and filled out properly. Once we pass this we will be contacted for a Visa interview.
10) Embassy Part 2: After the document check we will have a Visa interview. This requires any living relatives to be present again and they will interview Paul and I as well to ensure nothing is fabricated or fraudulent. Once this is complete (and we are approved!) we can pick up their Visas a few days later and head home!
I know this is all making your head spin (mine too!!), but it will all be worth it when our boys are finally home :) We are believing to be there less than 12 weeks, but are planning for the full 3 months to keep our minds right. We know this is going to be a crazy adventure, but we are ready for the challenge and so excited to fulfill this desire we've had for so long. We still have a long road to go in-country and still needs to come up with all the necessary funds, but God is faithful and we know He won't leave us now!
If you would like to support us financially there is still time and every dollar matters! Options include:
1) Tax deductible: http://www.projecthopeful.org/
2) Paypal: stevens.paul.s@gmail.com - please select friends and family so they don't take a percentage!
3) Buy a t-shirt: $25 each plus shipping...They are pretty fly if I do say so myself :) and comfy!
4) Go Fund Me (details to come): We are planning to do a Go Fund Me account while we are in country to hopefully raise the funds for our plane tickets home. We currently do not have the money in our account to pay for those and are hoping to raise $5,000 to cover some of the costs or at least pay for the boys!
I want to genuinely thank each and every one of you who have reached out during this process and supported us in any way. For those of you close to me, you have seen many tears and frustrations over the last few months, but your support and encouragement has meant the world to me. This period of waiting was very challenging, but God was so faithful to fulfill His promise to us and despite the deep feelings of sorrow, we never lost faith.
We couldn't do this without each and every one of you, and we are so grateful to call you friends. We hope you continue to follow us on this journey and we can't wait to finally introduce you to our boys in a few short weeks!
Love to you!
Grab a chair and sit down, because we GOT OUR COURT DATES!!!!!!!!!! We are beyond excited (and a little scared!) to be going to meet OUR BOYS!! We received an e-mail from our director on Thursday afternoon letting us know our court dates are going to be August 25 and August 26!!! As of right now we are planning to leave the weekend of August 15 to make sure we are there a week before our date. This will give us enough time to do a few required things before we meet our sons!!! That's right I said our sons!!! So for those of you who are a little unsure of our process in country here's a quick re-cap:
1) Arrive on August 17: we will plan to stay in the capital city of Kampala for the first few days to see the tombs of the kings, parliament and few other historic landmarks that are required by our judge. We need to document us there with pictures, so we want to get this out of the way ASAP.
2) Travel to Jinja to meet our boys: Our boys are in an orphanage in Jinja which is about a 3 hour drive from Kampala. We will plan to stay at a guest house in Jinja for the first 3-4 weeks until we have the official ruling from our judge
3) August 25: Court for J-man :) Please pray for this...our judge is very erratic and very hard on the adoptive mom (that's me!). From what I've heard he will question the mom for up to 2 hours while asking the adoptive father maybe 1 or 2 questions. I will need peace for this as I'm already a little anxious as to what he will ask. I will be coached by our lawyer in Uganda prior to court, but I will take all the prayers I can get!
4) August 26: Court for L-man :) Pray for this too! Pray that the boys both have peace and will feel comfortable sitting on our laps for most of this time. Additionally, any living relatives of the boys will need to be at their respective court dates. Please pray we can bless them in some way and that we can form a good rapport.
5) Wait... After court we wait for the verbal ruling from our judge. This is typically 1-1.5 weeks. After we get the verbal ruling, then we wait for the written ruling...again another 1-1.5 weeks. We're believing to have both rulings within 2 weeks. During this time we will be going back and forth to the orphanage to spend time with the boys.
6) Move to Kampala: Once we have their written rulings, we will plan to move to a guest house in Kampala. This place is a little nicer (more consistent electricity and a washing machine!) and the house mom Harriet will cook us meals. This is the first time we will have the boys stay overnight with us, so pray for peace for them and that they will feel safe with us.
7) Passports: Once we get their written rulings we can apply for their passports. This process can take anywhere from 5 days to 4+ weeks. Most people expedite this process by paying bribes to the officials. Paul and I will not be doing that, but we ask God's favor over this step so HE will expedite it for us :)
8) IOM (International Organization for Migration): This is the medical exams our boys will need to have prior to leaving the country. They will be tested for Tb and a slew of other illness to ensure they don't need further treatment before entering the United States. After their initial exams we will head back 3 days later for their follow-up. If this is approved then they will send the paperwork over to the embassy for processing (typically 3-5 days).
9) Embassy Part 1: Once the embassy receives the paperwork from IOM we will be contacted for a document check interview. This entails an embassy official going through our paperwork to make sure everything is accounted for, legitimate and filled out properly. Once we pass this we will be contacted for a Visa interview.
10) Embassy Part 2: After the document check we will have a Visa interview. This requires any living relatives to be present again and they will interview Paul and I as well to ensure nothing is fabricated or fraudulent. Once this is complete (and we are approved!) we can pick up their Visas a few days later and head home!
I know this is all making your head spin (mine too!!), but it will all be worth it when our boys are finally home :) We are believing to be there less than 12 weeks, but are planning for the full 3 months to keep our minds right. We know this is going to be a crazy adventure, but we are ready for the challenge and so excited to fulfill this desire we've had for so long. We still have a long road to go in-country and still needs to come up with all the necessary funds, but God is faithful and we know He won't leave us now!
If you would like to support us financially there is still time and every dollar matters! Options include:
1) Tax deductible: http://www.projecthopeful.org/
2) Paypal: stevens.paul.s@gmail.com - please select friends and family so they don't take a percentage!
3) Buy a t-shirt: $25 each plus shipping...They are pretty fly if I do say so myself :) and comfy!
4) Go Fund Me (details to come): We are planning to do a Go Fund Me account while we are in country to hopefully raise the funds for our plane tickets home. We currently do not have the money in our account to pay for those and are hoping to raise $5,000 to cover some of the costs or at least pay for the boys!
I want to genuinely thank each and every one of you who have reached out during this process and supported us in any way. For those of you close to me, you have seen many tears and frustrations over the last few months, but your support and encouragement has meant the world to me. This period of waiting was very challenging, but God was so faithful to fulfill His promise to us and despite the deep feelings of sorrow, we never lost faith.
We couldn't do this without each and every one of you, and we are so grateful to call you friends. We hope you continue to follow us on this journey and we can't wait to finally introduce you to our boys in a few short weeks!
Love to you!
Sunday, July 12, 2015
J turns 4
Today our oldest son turns 4. My heart is so heavy to think of yet another milestone we are missing, yet at the same time I want to celebrate his life and his future. We are continually humbled by the fact that God chose us to parent these boys, and even with them halfway across the world, we are learning what that looks like on a daily basis. I know God has a perfect plan in all of this, but every time I miss something else I can't help but feel like we're letting them down. We want to be there so bad, but in this season of waiting there is nothing else we can do but pray and trust God. We know we have many years of memories to come, but it doesn't negate the 4 years we've missed. I e-mailed the orphanage director and asked her to give him some extra love from his mom and dad...She said she would as well as some M&Ms, so hopefully he had a great day :) I made a cake for little J and we sang loud enough for him to hopefully hear us! We can't wait to celebrate with both of them soon.
As far as a court update, we are still waiting. At this point we've prepared ourselves to not travel until mid to late August, but would really just like to have a firm date. The courts close this Friday, July 17 and we are believing God to move things forward and let us know our date this week! Our orphanage director is there advocating on our behalf, but all we can do is put our hope in God and trust that He knows better than we do. If I'm being honest I continue to struggle daily. My heart is in Uganda and it's been hard to let go of our thoughts of being home with them at the end of the summer. If we go in August our prayer would be to be home before Thanksgiving. I've realized in all of this that my plans don't really matter, and I've had to learn to be flexible and adaptable. Every day I give our adoption over to God again, and every day I learn to trust His timing and not my own.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support. Your kind words and prayers mean more than you know...and if you're around me on a weekly basis, hugs always help :)
Love to you all,
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Still Waiting...
Hi All,
At this time we still have no update or idea of travel time. I have been waiting to post something until we had something more concrete to say, but we just don't.
Last week I received a call (what I thought was the travel call) letting us know that there has been a delay in our court assignment due to the court registrar. From what we understand they usually change registrars in July, however this year it was done early (whether due to the other person being fired or just a change, who knows) and the new registrar has not shown up to work yet (again, whether they had someone lined up or not, we don't know). At this point we are still on standby and just eagerly waiting a new update. Our orphanage director is planning to head back to Uganda early due to the many changes happening at this time, so hopefully that should give us more concrete info and faster.
Needless to say I have been having a very difficulty time. My heart was prepared to leave in August or September and since the timeline has been moved up I let myself get hopeful. This was a bad decision on my part. Over these last 3 weeks my anticipation has grown each day and I have spent many nights curled up in tears. Most of the emotional burden is the unknown and the gripping fear that comes with this process, but a lot of it is the love I'm feeling for my boys and simply not knowing when we'll get to see them. All of our bags are packed, zipped and ready to go, yet we continue to wait. We're feeling like we're in the dark about when we'll actually go, and wondering if it will really happen before the courts close on July 15. At this point the adoption consumes my daily thoughts. It's all I can think about and dream about and getting up and going to work everyday just seems so trivial in comparison. I'm sure many of you may think I'm crazy, and most days I feel that way, but I wanted to give you an honest glimpse into my heart these days. To explain why things have been quiet, and why this adoption waiting thing is so dang hard.
If I’ve learned anything over this year and a half of waiting, it is that God is most certainly with us. He is for us. He is kind and caring and He has not and will not abandon us. Yet, in the midst of the WAITING, I often doubt that truth. When I'm feeling hopeless and lost and like this will never happen, I doubt. I have been spending an hour a day in God's word, reading, praying, worshiping and declaring all the things I want to see, but I'm just feeling so weary. I'm feeling numb to the emotion of it all, yet continuing to somehow push forward. I know that His Word brings strength to every painful situation, and the more time I spend refreshing myself the more grace He gives me. We serve a faithful God and just because I don't SEE things moving doesn't mean He's not working on our behalf. I have been so challenged to trust His timing every step of the way and this is again no exception...but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. Every. Single. Day. My heart is bursting at the seems with love and expectation and it's so hard to wake up everyday just to have another day pass with no movement forward. To wake up everyday with the anticipation that you might meet your kids this week and then another week goes by and still no date in sight. I'm continuing to believe we will travel before the court deadline until it passes. I'm continuing to trust God despite my feelings. I'm continuing to put my hope in Him and not rely on myself. I know things in country will be just as trying and just as emotional but having our boys in our arms will make the journey totally doable.
Please continue to pray for us. We are feeling tired and weary and discouraged, but our God is mighty and we know He will sustain us. We can't thank you all enough for your kind words, support and prayers. We need them more than we can say. We hope to share some good news soon.
We love you,
At this time we still have no update or idea of travel time. I have been waiting to post something until we had something more concrete to say, but we just don't.
Last week I received a call (what I thought was the travel call) letting us know that there has been a delay in our court assignment due to the court registrar. From what we understand they usually change registrars in July, however this year it was done early (whether due to the other person being fired or just a change, who knows) and the new registrar has not shown up to work yet (again, whether they had someone lined up or not, we don't know). At this point we are still on standby and just eagerly waiting a new update. Our orphanage director is planning to head back to Uganda early due to the many changes happening at this time, so hopefully that should give us more concrete info and faster.
Needless to say I have been having a very difficulty time. My heart was prepared to leave in August or September and since the timeline has been moved up I let myself get hopeful. This was a bad decision on my part. Over these last 3 weeks my anticipation has grown each day and I have spent many nights curled up in tears. Most of the emotional burden is the unknown and the gripping fear that comes with this process, but a lot of it is the love I'm feeling for my boys and simply not knowing when we'll get to see them. All of our bags are packed, zipped and ready to go, yet we continue to wait. We're feeling like we're in the dark about when we'll actually go, and wondering if it will really happen before the courts close on July 15. At this point the adoption consumes my daily thoughts. It's all I can think about and dream about and getting up and going to work everyday just seems so trivial in comparison. I'm sure many of you may think I'm crazy, and most days I feel that way, but I wanted to give you an honest glimpse into my heart these days. To explain why things have been quiet, and why this adoption waiting thing is so dang hard.
If I’ve learned anything over this year and a half of waiting, it is that God is most certainly with us. He is for us. He is kind and caring and He has not and will not abandon us. Yet, in the midst of the WAITING, I often doubt that truth. When I'm feeling hopeless and lost and like this will never happen, I doubt. I have been spending an hour a day in God's word, reading, praying, worshiping and declaring all the things I want to see, but I'm just feeling so weary. I'm feeling numb to the emotion of it all, yet continuing to somehow push forward. I know that His Word brings strength to every painful situation, and the more time I spend refreshing myself the more grace He gives me. We serve a faithful God and just because I don't SEE things moving doesn't mean He's not working on our behalf. I have been so challenged to trust His timing every step of the way and this is again no exception...but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. Every. Single. Day. My heart is bursting at the seems with love and expectation and it's so hard to wake up everyday just to have another day pass with no movement forward. To wake up everyday with the anticipation that you might meet your kids this week and then another week goes by and still no date in sight. I'm continuing to believe we will travel before the court deadline until it passes. I'm continuing to trust God despite my feelings. I'm continuing to put my hope in Him and not rely on myself. I know things in country will be just as trying and just as emotional but having our boys in our arms will make the journey totally doable.
Please continue to pray for us. We are feeling tired and weary and discouraged, but our God is mighty and we know He will sustain us. We can't thank you all enough for your kind words, support and prayers. We need them more than we can say. We hope to share some good news soon.
We love you,
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