Week 6...Tired

Well this week was big in a lot of ways, but Paul and I are feeling whooped! We've had some great moments and then some really bad ones, all the while trying to keep our composure when we really feel like breaking down. I was fighting sickness most of the week and it made for long days in the heat. I had 3 migraines in addition to a sore throat and cold symptoms, but am thankfully starting to feel better. I've been a little more homesick over the last week and have definitely been missing friends, family and Fall! It's hard to have so many emotions day to day without your friends to gab to at the end of a hard day. I've been journaling my thoughts a lot and reading by Bible every morning to keep my mind peaceful, but it's just not the same as sitting on your best friends couch and having a good cry. I look forward to making up for all this time once I'm home ;) 

This week was also our first week with the boys more "full-time" and overall they did well, but it was a challenging transition for all of us. We have been used to having some down time in the middle of the day to re-group and re-charge, but we lost that time with the boys napping at our house. Don't get me wrong, we are THRILLED to be at this stage and LOVE having them here, but since we are currently living in a tiny 1 bedroom apartment, we have to be pretty silent the whole time they're napping because everything creaks and echoes SO LOUDLY! Additionally, I used to try to nap when they did so I would feel refreshed for the afternoon, but with them in the bedroom, I don't want to wake them up trying to get under the mosquito net and into my rickety bed, and it's just too hot to get comfortable without the fan directly on you. I tried to nap at the table the other day (I was seriously that tired), but my arms fell asleep completely and I found myself more frustrated when I woke up...so with that, no more afternoon naps for me :( Typically Paul and I are just hot and sticky while we sit at our tiny kitchen table for 2 hours trying not to make a sound. Paul is normally working which takes up most of the table, and I sit there trying to figure out something productive to do that doesn't make a lot of noise. It's actually quite comical. I wish you could see the full picture of what I mean...because I seriously can't make this stuff up. Ok...my rant is over :) 

On a positive note, I will say that we are trying to enjoy every day, trying to love on the people of Uganda as much and as often as we can and trying to take in all the nuances of our boys and this place. We know these feelings of frustration are temporary and we know they will pass, but this week when we've been feeling extra tired and a bit defeated, it's hard to keep that in perspective. We know God is with us and as we continue to follow His plan, we know our lives will only get better. With each passing day we are so blessed by our boys, and despite the hard times, we are realizing how valuable each life is and how God has truly called us to this season.

Here's a glimpse at Week 6...

On Monday we picked up the boys at 9am and then took a long walk before heading to the Sailing Club. We were the only people there which was really nice and we sat and watched the boats sail by while sitting in our Gazebo. L LOVES that word and finds it hysterical to say :) He's very proud of himself for not only knowing what a gazebo is, but knowing how to say it! At 11:30 we walked back to our guest house and gave the boys lunch. They normally eat Ugandan favorites for lunch, and I was a little nervous with how they would do with my peanut butter sandwich idea, but they LOVED it and were literally licking their plates when they were done :) We paired that with a banana (which they could eat about 10 of in one sitting if we let them!) and we were golden. At 12:30 we got them ready for their nap and after a book and prayers we laid them down to sleep. They were SO excited to be sleeping in a big bed and with all the newness of the day I thought they would never go to sleep. I laid with them for 15 minutes or so, but after seeing their persistent alertness I knew this wasn't going to work. Soooooo, I may or may not have bribed them with a "sweet" if they went to sleep ;) Judge me all you want moms! It worked like a charm and thankfully they were asleep by 1:50. They normally sleep until 3 at the orphanage, but I let them sleep until 3:30 and then Paul and I woke them up as not to totally mess up their routine. They were groggy and droopy eyed, but enjoyed still being at Mommy and Daddy's house :) After they woke up a bit we did snack and then FaceTimed with my parents so they could "meet" the boys. They both did so well (to our surprise) and were hamming it up for my parents. J was definitely shy to begin with, but once he warmed up, he was good to go. It was so sweet to see. When we were done we went outside to play and the boys enjoyed some bubbles, squirt guns (another mom brought them and our boys LOVE them even though they need 2 hands to figure out how to shoot it!), tag and jump rope (really just swinging it around, because let's face it, trying to teach a kid to jump rope is REALLY hard!). At 5:45 we loaded them into the "trailer" (stroller) and headed back to the orphanage. Neither of them wanted to leave, but they both seemed to understand we would be with them again tomorrow. It was comforting to not see them freak out as had been the previous norm. Nap Day 1: Mostly Successful

Marabou Storks near the lake on our walk...Ugandans call them Kaloli which means "ugly" :) They are SO big, almost as tall as me!

Nap time :) It's so cute that they're in the same position :) We put their legs on the bed after the pic, don't worry :)

Tuesday they were both fairly irritable when we went to pick them up, and the whole morning was a roller coaster of emotions from both of them. We decided not to do an activity and instead we ran some errands around town. We needed more data for our hot spot (life saver!), Paul needed a haircut, and we needed some bread and bananas for lunches. So off we went! Getting the data for our hotspot was quick and straightforward, although it's a fairly long walk, so we let the boys be grumps in the stroller while we walked :) Finding a place for Paul to get a haircut, now that was interesting. We ended up at this little hole in the wall place off a side street downtown, and it was exactly what we wanted. I gave the boys their snack while Paul got his hair cut...and by haircut I mean cut, brushed with 3 different types of brushes, then precisely trimmed, followed by a hot towel wrap, and a neck and head massage. I'm sorry, are we at a spa? It was SO comical, but awesome, and I had to stifle my laughter multiple times at Paul's clear discomfort. In the end though, his hair looks great and it was worth the entertainment! From there we grabbed our groceries and headed to a local coffee shop to get some energy. The boys colored and did some puzzles (not quietly I might add!) and Paul and I enjoyed a quick iced coffee for ourselves. It was heaven until I felt puzzle pieces being hurled at my head and I quickly came back to reality :) Once we settled the boys down, they did better and we stayed until 11:45 before heading back home. Nap routine was about the same, but a little smoother today and the boys were asleep by 1:05... Praise Jesus! They slept until 3:15 and I was so thankful because they definitely need it! Nap Day 2: Success! In the afternoon we again just went outside to play. They seem to really enjoy this time, and it's nice to see them get more comfortable each day. This is the first time they actually have things to call theirs that don't need to be shared with 50 other children at the same time. You can tell how much they treasure the things we brought, and I can't imagine their reaction when we get home! After a good afternoon, we dropped them off at the orphanage at 6:10, said our goodbyes and headed off to dinner. It's been hard to take them back each evening (for all of us!), but we have to continue to be patient until we get the written ruling from the judge. However, my patience doesn't mean my heart isn't breaking for the confusion that must be going through their minds...All I can do is give them to God. 

Paul's haircut :) Don't mind me creeping...I couldn't hide, there were mirrors everywhere!

Wednesday was challenging from start to finish, and if I were home I would've made myself a good cocktail (or 2!) and settled in with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. The day could literally not end fast enough and Paul and I were both so frustrated throughout the day. It started off with a bang as I woke up with a migraine. We had made plans to take the boys to the pool, so we loaded up everything (towels, floaties, swim diapers, regular diapers, shoes, snacks, water, the whole 9 yards!), and prepared for the day. Since we were so preoccupied trying to make sure we didn't forget anything, it wasn't until halfway through our walk to the orphanage that we realized we didn't eat breakfast and we brought no snacks for us. Grrr. Oh well, we continued onward and upward and persevered. Paul and I were carrying everything we brought (because it's not like we just hop in a car and go), in addition to a standing fan we bought when we first got here, that has since broke into 3 pieces and the motor fried. Greeeaaaatttt. Well on our walk the fan broke a 4th time to which we just added more pieces into our pockets and kept walking. When we got to the orphanage Paul dropped off the pool stuff, and I stayed to get the boys ready while he went to try to "return" the fan. Long story short the people at the store were so rude and Paul left without a new fan and even more frustrated than when he arrived. Additionally, the weather began to get pretty chilly and it was very overcast and threatening rain. Soooo after carrying all our pool stuff with us, we abandoned that plan and after much deliberation, decided to try "Creationz Kidz Park" (I kid you not that's the real name). We had never been there, but it's basically a large patch of grass that has kids play equipment, so we thought we'd give it a go. There was no one there and it was clear we were intruding, but the owner was nice and let us stay for a while anyway. J is infatuated with "machines" (weed whackers, generators, motors, you name it) and there was a man trimming the grass while we were there (and by trimming I mean they literally cut huge areas of grass with a weed whacker. There is no lawn mower involved. It's crazy.) Well even though we paid for the kids to be there, J sat in the stroller and watched the weed whacker for over 25 minutes before finally getting out to play. We could've gone anywhere for that! :) L was enjoying having free reign of the playground and it was sweet to see his excitement. Toward the end of our time, the owner let the boys get on a "real" bike and Paul helped them ride around the grass while they pedaled. It was definitely new for them, but they LOVED it, and it melted by heart to see their joy. I know now what to get them for Christmas! :) When we got home they were much more defiant with their nap and it took a little while to get them down. They finally fell asleep at 1:20 only to be woken up at 2 by the neighbor doing work in his yard with the LOUDEST "machine" I've ever heard. Both boys wouldn't go back to sleep and I knew it would be a challenging afternoon. Nap Day 3: Fail. Both J & L were so irritable once they woke up and were behaving so poorly that most of the afternoon was spent disciplining them. I know they were both overtired and that was most of it, but J definitely acts out of impulse with aggression, and we've been diligently working through it every day since we arrived. He is getting better, but this afternoon was particularly terrible, and I could've just cried the whole time. Additionally, Paul had a call for work in the middle of our afternoon, and I was struggling to give attention to L while trying to keep J calm. It was just an all around bad time. At 5:45 we loaded them up in the stroller and walked back to the orphanage. By this point I was SO spent and I could've gone to bed right then. We said our goodbyes to the boys and it was clear they didn't want us to go. So we scooped them up and stayed a bit longer before heading out to dinner. Praise Jesus Wednesday was over!

Creationz Kidz Park :)

"AERO-PLANE!!"

Giant Swing!

Deciding where they want to fly! They chose Kampala :) Mommy was pushing for Hawaii!

Riding his bike!

"Merry-go-round"

Thursday morning Paul and I resolved to make the best of the day even though we were still feeling exhausted from the day before. We took some time for ourselves in the morning, talking and praying together, before heading out to get the boys. We got to the orphanage at 9:15 and they were SO excited to see us. We got them changed and ready, and since the weather was back to normal, we decided to try the pool. We walked a ways to Hotel Paradise and paid for the pool pass for the day. The boys were so excited to go swimming (even though neither of them have ever been!), and the whole walk there they were telling anyone who would listen, "we are going to swimming!" It was too cute. When we got there they were hesitant to get in, but clearly curious. Thankfully the hotel has a kiddie pool, so Paul and I got in first and then carried the boys in with us. Initially they refused to let go of our hands, but little by little they got more comfortable and by the end they had each dunked their heads (but only once...that was enough adventure for 1 day!). At 11:45 we packed up and headed home for lunch and nap. After a peanut butter explosion, a juice explosion, and 1 banana on the floor, we cleaned them up for the 3rd time and headed in for nap. L went right down and was asleep in 5 minutes or less. J on the other hand was clearly over-tired and it took 30+ minutes before he went to sleep. This momma was ready for a nap of her own! Thankfully it was quieter in the middle of the day and they slept until after 3. Nap Day 4: Success. Thursday afternoon we stayed inside for a bit since we had been in the sun all morning. The boys typically do well for a period of time, but then definitely need to head outside to run it out. They were much more well behaved this afternoon, and I was so relieved because I couldn't have done another afternoon like the day before. I'm finding their attention span for activities is slowly increasing, but they still require a lot of redirection to keep a calm demeanor when they get flustered. It's been hard to get them to settle in to sitting activities, especially in this new environment, but they seem to do better when we're outside. We played for a long while before heading in to FaceTime with Paul's parents, and then heading back to the orphanage by 6:15. In the evening, all of us met up for dinner with another adoptive mom here in Jinja (who we met at the Embassy last week). We chatted about the process and our time in Uganda and it was nice to share our hearts with a kindred spirit. She is adopting an 8 year old boy, and will hopefully be heading home soon! We're believing the same thing for us! :) All in all, it was a good day.

Friday we thought we might be headed to Kampala to pick up our passports (enter squeal of delight!), so we got everything packed and walked to the orphanage by 9:15. We waited for the director to arrive to let us know, but unfortunately it was a no go as the passport officer who we were to meet was out sick :( We are prayerfully going on Monday to get them, so please keep that in your prayers!!! With a bit of disappointment, we made a new plan and decided to spend some 1 on 1 time with the boys. We were carrying them on our backs, so Paul took L and I took J and we headed in different directions. We each went to one of the little restaurants in town and let the boys talk and play and eat with us while we gave them our undivided attention. L thoroughly enjoyed his time with Paul and you could tell he definitely felt like a big boy. J was more quiet, but was excited to be in a new place and did well playing with his cars and play-doh while counting ceiling fans, lights and tables :) We met back up around 11:45 and walked home together for lunch. The boys were much more mischievous today and Paul and I were getting a bit frustrated at their lack of obedience. Not only did they break a glass cup and some eggs, but they hardly slept and were getting into everything they know they shouldn't. They lost many privileges throughout the course of the afternoon, and it was hard for us to remain calm with them continuing to push the limits. Nap Day 5: Fail. In the afternoon, we again went outside to play and thankfully they did well. After a while all of the moms and kids came out to play (5 adults and 6 kids!), which normally is a free for all, but all of them did SO much better today and we were thankful to see the progress. We are believing this will be a turn in the right direction for playtime with other kiddos! Currently the boys are SO protective of us and often get very clingy and defensive when other kids try to spend time with us. With that said, I think they are starting to understand a little more that we are their people, and they've been better at sharing us :) Here's hoping to ch ch changes! 

Play time outside!

Saturday was a really nice family day for us and we took time away from the rest of the families to just spend time with the boys. We headed to the orphanage by 9, picked up the boys and put them on our backs to be carried. We headed downtown to do some grocery shopping, but made a stop at the coffee shop for their snack and our caffeine fix :) They LOVE going there and always feel so privileged to sit in a big boy chair and eat with us. We've been enjoying all these new experiences with them and it's a fun way to show them we care :) After snack, they hopped back in their carriers and we finished our grocery shopping. From there we walked home and played outside just the 4 of us for a long time. It was nice to have them more calm and collected, without all the other kids around, and we enjoyed spending the morning outside in their company. At noon we headed inside for lunch and we all sat and ate peanut butter and banana sandwiches as a family. The boys think it's so funny that we sit and eat with them since at the orphanage it is always just a room full of kids. They were very chatty today too and we had fun singing songs and talking while we ate. We could tell they were both very tired and throughout lunch were rubbing their eyes. So after we cleaned up, we read a book and said our prayers before Paul and I laid with them to go to sleep. By 1:00 they were both sound asleep and thankfully both slept until 3:00! There was definitely less commotion outside today and it was helpful to not have so many distractions to potentially wake them up. Nap Day 6: Success! In the afternoon it was raining, so our plans for a walk were a no go. Once the boys were awake we did snack and played inside. 

L snuggling after his nap :)

Sunday was the first time we took the boys to church with us and it was a bit of a hot mess :) The boys did pretty good during worship, but they were too nervous to go to kids church without us, so we ended up just sitting in the grass behind the "sanctuary" and let them play while we tried to listen to the sermon. J was definitely over-tired and was very over-stimulated, so Paul and I were switching on and off with him to make sure he wasn't getting too crazy. Overall, it went well, but I know it will take a few more times going before they feel comfortable. It was definitely a change for us as we felt like we didn't really get to worship or enjoy the service, but we know that will change once they adjust a bit more. We left church at 12:30 and headed right home for lunch and snack. The boys ate well, but I could tell they were getting into exhausted territory, so we cleaned up, read our book, said our prayers and they were both asleep in 5 minutes or less. We were again so thankful. They slept for 2 hours and it was much needed. Paul stayed with them in the afternoon and I headed to the orphanage to paint a few of the older girls' nails. It was something I had promised them long ago, and they were SO excited to have this done. It was really a sweet time for me to spend with them, and I love these opportunities to love on these children and these people without anything in return. My heart is full <3

This week was definitely a big step forward for our family, and we are continually trusting God to help us navigate our boys needs, their hearts, their hurts and their future. It's often been difficult for us to separate the behavior from the tender nature of the boys, but God is definitely working on us too, and we are becoming more calm, more nurturing and more compassionate to their needs, even when their behavior looks mean and nasty. We are finding new ways to love on them and to get through their shell, but it hasn't been easy. We often find ourselves having to take a breath and remember they are just tiny humans who want someone to love them and comfort them, and then we remember that we can actually do that very well. Our lives have truly been turned upside down by these 2 little boys, and as they continue to open up to us, we see how valuable this time with them really is. Paul and I find ourselves rehashing parts of the day that made us laugh, phrases they've said in their sweet Ugandan accents, and fun/silly reactions to things that we Americans could care less about. There are so many things I could list that have totally stolen our hearts, and as we continue to plow our path as their mom and dad, we couldn't be more proud of our darling sons. 

Missing you all and praying you are well,

Week 5...Encouraged

Hi All!

Greetings from beautiful Uganda! This week has been good in many ways, but exhausting in others. We are feeling so blessed to be able to have this time with our boys (that is truly unlike any other time we will have with them!), but there are definitely days when we feel frustrated and weary. We are trusting God like we never have before and trying to enjoy every day to the absolute fullest.

On Monday, the 14th, we were able to go to Kampala for the boys' passport interviews! We didn't know for sure until Monday morning at 8:35am and we left at 9:15am to make the drive. That is Uganda for you :) Our time at the passport office was fairly quick and easy, which we were thrilled about! We've heard horror stories from other families regarding their wait at the passport office, but God definitely went before us and we were able to get everything submitted with only a short wait. Praise Jesus! On the other hand, the drive to and from Kampala was terrible. We drove with another family who was taking their 1 son for his interview as well, but despite having a good amount of space, it was the worst drive we've had yet. J was having a REALLY hard time being confined in the car and he was so difficult. On our first trip to Kampala for court he did so well, but this time around was night and day difference. Paul and I were constantly rotating the boys for our own sake, but J had many instances of pure tantrums, and we were feeling so spent. L did pretty good overall, but still needed consistent prompting to maintain his safety. In Uganda there are no carseats, seatbelt wearing, etc in the car, so the boys are free to roam, stand, sit, crawl, whatever. It's AWFUL! It makes 10x the work for Paul and I to make sure they don't hurt themselves, and with the traffic, they are always getting thrown around the car. Often we adjust the seats to help "barricade" them in a bit, but it never seems to work. I will be SO HAPPY when we have to put them in car seats. All in all it was a 7 hour day, mostly in the car, and by the end of it I had a splitting headache and was just feeling like a terrible mom. We got back to the orphanage near dinner time and Paul and I played with them for a few before saying our goodbyes and heading out for dinner. We were all thrilled to be out of the car, and I'm praying that our next few trips will be much better than this one. Phew.

On Tuesday, Paul stayed with the boys all day and I headed to Kampala again (with 2 of the other moms) for the U.S. Embassy adoption information meeting. It was again a full day mostly in the car, but the session was very helpful, and it was good to meet all the people who will be interviewing us for our Visa approval. They were able to answer a lot of our questions regarding paperwork and investigation questions, and I felt much more at ease upon leaving. Additionally, it was nice to spend the day with the other moms and have some time to decompress a bit. We are all going through challenges of our own, but going through it together makes it that much better. Most people have no idea how difficult this process is, and it's such a blessing to have beautiful women who know your heart and thoughts and will just let you cry or complain with no judgment. We will forever we bonded together. I definitely missed seeing the boys today, but I was happy they enjoyed some quality time with their daddy :)

Paul lent them his raincoat as the rain started...this is what they did with it :)

Time with daddy :)

Wednesday was a normal day for us and we spent the morning with J at a local coffee shop. We have been working a lot on his social skills, ability to make eye contact, emotional response to stressors, colors, shapes, numbers and so much more. Overall he is responding well, but he gets overstimulated quickly, so we have to be able to give him some space to process before moving on to something else. He actually did really well while we were working with him, and I was feeling so encouraged by his progress. He still needs quite a bit of discipline to help calm his tantrums, but they are getting fewer and farther between which is HUGE. Wednesday afternoon we picked up both boys and brought them to our guest house. We played inside most of the time because there was heavy rain earlier in the day, but the boys loved it. They get so excited over the littlest things, like rolls of duct tape and flashlights, and we have so many videos of them giggling and rolling on the floor laughing over silly little things. It melts my heart! We also took them through pictures of our family, and they are getting good at knowing who people are. The cutest one is when J tries to say "Nana." Paul's mom goes by Nana and we have been trying to get the boys to just point out who people are without our prompting. Well, without fail, every time, he calls her "Banana." Even after our correction, he says Banana. Paul and I have to hold in our laughter, but I think this one may stick. Sorry Carol, you may always be Banana to him :)

L learning how to do a wheelbarrow race :)

Wearing our shoes around our apartment complex :)

Thursday was a more difficult day and J had more meltdowns than normal. I'm not sure what set him off in the morning, but it took a lot of patience and loving discipline before he finally calmed down. We took him back to the orphanage a little earlier than normal so he could ride bikes and jump on the trampoline a bit. We stayed and played with him there for a while, and we could tell he was enjoying the comfort of knowing his surroundings. J is bonding to us really well, but he is more sensitive to new surroundings than L. As we played with him we could see him returning more to his normal self, and by the time we left, he was content. This process is so hard on all of us and Paul and I are learning so much about our boys and ourselves with every passing day. When you're in the thick of this, it often feels like things will never be normal, but then we see progress in the littlest of things, and we again feel encouraged. God is definitely shaping our hearts during this journey; all we have to do is listen.

J riding his favorite bike at the orphanage

Friday was an overall good day and we had a wonderful time with J in the morning. He did so well with us, despite a couple things, and we were feeling much more at ease than the day before. Not only was he listening and responding to us more, but he started initiating communicating his needs to us, instead of us always having to ask. He has also been engaging with L much more and it's been so sweet to see them holding hands or calling for each other to come play. We are seeing how God is knitting all of our hearts together, and we are falling in love with our boys a little more each day. Even though we feel like crazy people sometimes, we have no doubt that this is what we were called to do.

We love when they love on each other 

Saturday was a HOT day, but we had a great time with the boys. We picked them up early in the morning and went for a long walk by the lake. We then went to Heal Ministries and played there for a little over an hour. They house many children from the community there as well, and I could tell both of our boys were being protective of us. Nevertheless, we had a great time swinging, "driving", playing in the sandbox and tree house and just being together. In the afternoon we brought the boys back to our place and just enjoyed some time together. They LOVE coming to our house and they are feeling more comfortable integrating themselves into our space. We gave them their new shoes that we brought with us, and you would've thought we bought them new bikes! They squealed with delight and did NOT want to take them off. The shoes that the orphanage gave them continue to fall apart and in the last couple weeks some of the other children have chewed them (when I say chewed, I mean literally taken HUGE bites out of their shoes) because of jealousy and availability. We were going to wait to give them their shoes until they were with us full time, but since their old shoes now fall off every 2 minutes, we gave them to them early :) They are so precious to us and it's been so fun to witness all these new firsts. We can't wait to come home and see more!

Paul and J looking down at us from the tree house!

Tire Swing fun!

Their new shoes :) As you can see they are RIGHT NEXT to their backpacks :)

Sunday we went to church, per the usual, and will plan to spend the afternoon with the boys until they head back for dinner and bed. They both really enjoy going to church and are often singing songs the rest of the day :) We're believing they'll enjoy it as much in America as they do here!

While we were hoping to be able to take the boys out full-time next week, we were unfortunately told we had to wait until we received our written rulings from the judge. This week will be 4 weeks from their court dates and we are praying we will get them soon. Until then our plan is to take L out of school, so we can spend more time with both of them, and begin to integrate them more into our routine. We will begin picking them up at 8:30 or 9am and keeping them with us all day until bedtime. This will mean they will begin to eat meals with us and nap with us, which will be a huge change for them. Please pray for us this week as we transition them into this and navigate their needs as well as ours. Even though we were disappointed to not take them full-time right away, I think this will be a good start to their adjustment of living with us. L is definitely ready, but we're asking God to be with J as I know he will have a harder time. This will definitely be a huge change for all of us, but we're excited for them to finally be Stevens :) 

Here's a video of L explaining the process :) "Paper on the judge we are going to sleep 'ere! Paper on the Embassy and we are going to America!" Enjoy :)

We don't anticipate any trips to Kampala this week, but please pray that our document process continues to go smoothly and that God will give us favor with everyone who will touch our paperwork. Paul and I are content with the timing as long as everything gets approved. In the end, all we care about is being able to come home with BOTH boys at the SAME TIME...and if that means a little longer here, we're OK with that.

We pray you are all well and are enjoying the beginnings of Fall. Please keep your e-mails and communication coming! We are definitely missing our friends and family and it's so wonderful to hear from all of you! A big thank you to all of you who have given financially. We appreciate it more than we can say and we can't wait to thank you all in person! Here's to week 6!

Love, love, love,

Week 4...Progress

So this week was good and hard in many regards. As I've said before, everyday is a learning process and even when we see huge strides in one day, the next day could have large areas of regression. We try very hard to take it day by day and not let one difficult day affect the rest, but often that's much easier said than done.

This week was a milestone as we started bringing the boys to our guest house in the afternoons. This was very exciting for them, but they definitely needed the first couple days to figure things out. L seemed to jump right in, and has told us everyday this week, "Mummy, I want to sleep 'ere!" He understands so well that this will be his new "home" and is ready to begin that chapter! L takes everything in and once we tell him something, he's sold :) We keep informing him that he won't be able to sleep at our house until we get the paper from the Judge... so everyday when we're leaving to go back to the orphanage he tells everyone, "Paper on the Judge...we are going sleep 'ere!" It's precious. For as tough as he is, L is definitely a tender heart and enjoys all the attention he's getting from us :)

J still has a lot of wary moments, and even when he starts feeling comfortable, the next moment he could be backing away from something showing pure fear on his face. Although J is 4, he has the developmental/emotional capacity more of a 2-2.5 year old, and it's been hard to figure out what he needs in those moments of anxiety, especially since he doesn't speak English very well. We have definitely made huge strides in the trust department and he has made fair progress on all other fronts, but he has many coping mechanisms that we are still trying to work through, and Paul and I often feel at a loss when we don't know exactly how to help him. This was the first week I had many emotional moments...wanting to cry for no reason and feeling like a terrible mom that I can't soothe my own son. I know the communication will get better and better once they're with us full time (and L helps translate for us occasionally!), but it's been much more difficult to decipher when J gets into his "fight or flight" mode. From all our education, we've learned that there's no point to try to correct behavior or discipline when these little tikes are in that state because they won't respond...all they can focus on is how to get through the fear or anxiety they are currently feeling. Paul and I have often had to take turns to help maintain a calm demeanor, and J seems to be responding well to our intentional care of him.  

We have been able to spend more 1 on 1 time with J this week, as L has been going to "school" in the mornings. We thought initially we would pull L out to spend more time with us, but since we've been having a much harder time with J, we decided to leave L in school and take the time to work with J in a less stimulating/calmer environment. Activity wise, this week has been pretty monotonous as we've been trying to do predictable things that J is more comfortable with, but it's been a good bonding experience for the 3 of us. Every morning we've been taking J for a walk then going to a "park" (really a big field with trees and lots of cow poop everywhere!) or to a coffee shop where we can sit in a quiet room with him. We've been working on colors, shapes, numbers, matching, etc, which he seems to be enjoying overall. He has a very short attention span and when he gets frustrated he can get aggressive. We've been working very hard on this all week, and we're hoping as he gains more trust and understanding he will continue to have more feelings of safety and less need for reaction. Overall, he is doing very well with our mornings together, but there is still a lot of work to be done and we praying fervently on his behalf. We are continually asking God for wisdom on how best to get through to him, and despite our feelings of frustration or lack, we know we are making steady progress... it's just hard to see when you're in it everyday.

Snuggling J before we drop him off for lunch

J housing some water and a banana. Our kids can eat SO MANY BANANAS!

"Shading" with J at the park

In the afternoons, we've been picking up both boys and taking them to our guest house. We've been trying to acclimate them slowly to the new environment and pointing out essentials like their bed, the bathroom, food, etc, so they will have more of a felt comfort when we take them full time. Typically we play inside for a bit before heading outside to do bubbles, play soccer or read books. Each day has been a little better for them, and we hope next week they will continue to adjust. We did get to see some monkeys nearby this week and the boys LOVED it! They could've watched the monkeys all day with no interruption! They were so excited to see them leap from tree to tree and we hope we are able to have more times like this before we head home.

Tickle torture! (J in brown, L in orange) 
The boys have just been introduced to the art of tickling, and it has been so funny to see them use it against Paul! Some of the other kids have joined in as well!

Monkeys!

Backpack love AND REPRESENT YANKEE BASEBALL <3 We brought little backpacks for the boys (Thank you Mike and Rachelle!) and they pretty mush refuse to take them off. We only give them to them at our apartment, but it's fun to see them love having something of their own!

Just because we thought this was HILARIOUS. Enjoy :)

We had a good amount of rain this week, so we carried them frequently to avoid the excess mud and puddles that come with the rain. J&L both LOVE to be carried, and it's been fun to see their little personalities come out as they feel more comfortable. L is pretty much always singing on our walks...normally songs we are not familiar with...but we love hearing him sing nonetheless. On our walk the other day he started singing, "Peeaaaannuuuttt, Peanut butter, and Jelly" and Paul and I both cracked up! How does he know that song?! Below is a short clip of him singing on Paul's back...So cute!

We are supposed to be waiting for our written ruling before taking the boys full time, but we are considering trying to get them with us next week if we don't have the ruling yet. It's been confusing for them to go between us and the orphanage daily, and while they feel safe at the orphanage, it's hard to have any consistency of behavior or routine this way. While we are nervous at the prospect of taking them out, we are excited to see the growth that will come, and even more excited to get them into our own family routine. Please keep us in your prayers as we navigate the next couple weeks. We are definitely feeling emotionally drained, but there are so many high points in the day that we are able to keep our eye on the prize :)

On an exciting note, we were told we may be able to apply for our passports with just the court order and not the written ruling!! If this is the case, we would potentially be headed to Kampala (the capital) on Monday to go for our passport interviews!! This is a HUGE bump up in our timeline and we are believing things will go smoothly...although we are trying not to get our hopes up. As of Thursday, we submitted our applications to the passport office and are just waiting for confirmation of appointment time. We were told to still expect 2-3 weeks until we would be able to pick up the passports after our interview, but we didn't anticipate even applying for at least another 1-1.5 weeks, so we are pumped! Please pray we have favor with the passport office and whoever we get as our official will be kind, quick and efficient!

The next couple weeks are definitely going to be BIG turning points with the boys and we are continuing to trust God with every hurdle, every emotion and every change. We love them SO SO much and it's been amazing to feel the intensity of our love toward them, even when they have no concept of how much we care. We still have yet to get an unsolicited "I love you", but we know that when we finally do, it will be the best feeling in the world.

As we continue to progress through the process we are still believing for all the funds to come through for our airfare home and our finalization of their adoption in Virginia. Unfortunately in the adoption world, the fees don't stop once we're home, and we need to be able to have lump sums to cover all the costs to complete the adoption in the states (flights home, social work visits, court reports, lawyer fees, etc). If you would be so kind as to share our Go Fund Me link (http://www.gofundme.com/6x9s6sf45d) or consider donating a small amount, we would be forever grateful!! If everyone donated $10, we would easily meet our goal of $5,000!

You guys have SO GRACIOUSLY AND SACRIFICIALLY given towards our adoption time and time again, and we are so incredibly overwhelmed at the way you have loved and supported our family this last year. Thank you does not do justice to how our hearts feel for your generosity towards us. We are SO blessed to have friends and family like you!

Love from Uganda,

Week 3...Ups & Downs

We just finished our 3rd week here in Uganda and although fairly uneventful there were 2 big changes. 1) We got our verbal YES for both boys!! 2) this was the first week we really started to feel the weight of it all. Nothing terrible or crazy, but just a steady increase of emotion in many different areas.

We have been with the boys every day for 6-7 hours, but it's been difficult to see new issues emerge. The "novelty" of us has worn off (although they still come sprinting to us everyday when we arrive and never want us to go!), and we're beginning to see the challenges of the emotional trauma, neglect and rejection they've endured over the years. Don't get me wrong though, every day is a new milestone, every day we see them grow and remember new things, every day we see them trust us a little more, but when there's harder things they need to work through, we see the pain come out. We've spent a lot more time praying this week and interceding over their lives, but when we're also feeling emotionally spent, we have to be very intentional about making prayer a priority. The boys both have difficulties processing emotional and physical pain. Paul and I have been working very hard to help them understand our commitment to them, but when they're used to having no one come when they cry or no one care when they're hurt, it's hard to crack the shell. We've realized their orphanage is truly survival of the fittest. If they want something they take it, if someone gets hurt no one comes to help, if they're hungry they eat whatever they find on the ground until it's mealtime and if they have something that's theirs they will defend it as if their life depended on it. I can't imagine having to take care of myself at 3 years old and subconsciously feeling the weight of that everyday, but little by little they are realizing that we will be there to take care of them, and the consistency of our presence is beginning to make an impact. They are slowly beginning to make eye contact with us when they are crying or upset, they are slowly starting to let us in a little when they are upset, and they are realizing that when a shoe falls off we will get it for them and give it back (this used to be a 10 minute meltdown of big, huge, crocodile tears!). Food is still a big issue, especially for little J and it takes a lot of reassurance that they WILL get their snack when we arrive at our next location. We've been fighting the urge to just give it to them when they get upset in hopes that they will realize that what we tell them, we mean. We are not just saying empty words and giving empty promises, but we love them and we want them to be safe and nurtured -- slowly but surely this is happening, but we know we still have a long way to go. We've realized that how we are pursuing their hearts and trying to win them over is exactly what God does for us, and we have been so humbled by the thoughts of His unconditional love for us. Whenever we find ourselves getting frustrated or feeling like we're failing as parents, we try to take a breath and remember that God loves us and J&L more than anything and He's got us covered. Every day is a learning process, and every day we are fighting against years of ingrained rejection and survival skills, but God is redeeming their lives and we feel so blessed to be chosen as their mom and dad. For real guys. WE are the ones who are blessed.

This week in general was fairly uneventful (besides our rulings of course!), but we've been trying to be creative with activities :) On Monday we spent the morning and afternoon at our friend's house on the lake, letting the boys run and play with their kiddos and chickens. It's a safe place for all of us and it's nice to allow the boys to get some of their energy out where we know they won't get hurt. On Monday night we went to a "nice" dinner at the Jinja Sailing Club as a special goodbye for one of the families. They have been here 4 months working on their adoption and they are finally going home! It was a beautiful evening with a beautiful backdrop, and it was nice to celebrate their family and their journey.

On Tuesday, we decided to have a little family time and we carried the boys on our backs downtown to run some errands and then for a long walk by the lake. The boys really enjoy being carried, and besides the ridiculous amount of sweat on all of us at the end, we enjoy it too :) The boys are usually fairly outgoing, but today they were very shy. Whenever someone tried to take their hand or talk to them, they nestled into us and the carrier and basked in our protection. It was a new side of them we hadn't seen and it made Paul and I feel so encouraged by their progress and trust in us. After we dropped them off for lunch, the 4 of us adoptive mommas went for a walk to Katie Davis' house (go read Kisses from Katie if you haven't yet!) to buy some jewelry and meet her family (she's fostered/adopted 13 girls in Uganda ranging from age 7-18). It was incredible to see the life she's built in this country and all the hard work she's put in to create her ministry called, Amazima. I was so encouraged by her outlook and faith and it was a very refreshing time for all of us. We hope to be able to head back their at some point soon. On Tuesday afternoon we took them for a long walk off the beaten path and let them get out and walk a bit. L loves to help Paul push the stroller, and it was sweet to see him working so hard on the terrible craters we're walking through :) They have rarely been outside the orphanage except for church, and they love having so much to see. Here is a short video of their excitement for "motocars and triangles!!"

L working hard to push J :)

On Wednesday we went out for Breakfast with all the families to say goodbye to The Orest's. It was nice to share some last minute hugs, prayers and insights and it was encouraging for us to see the excitement as they prepared to head home. On Wednesday morning we stayed for worship and Bible study time at the orphanage and let the boys show us their moves :) From there we went again for a long walk near the golf course (to which we've seen maybe one person ever golfing) and the boys were quite content with the new scenery :) On Wednesday afternoon, the Orest's came to the orphanage for their kids goodbye party and it was amazing to see the transformation in them. As their little ones stood there and let all the other kids sing goodbye to them, they were so well-behaved and calm and we all cried tears of joy at the light in their eyes and the joy in their hearts. We said our goodbyes to all of them around 4:30 and off they went to the airport. We were so happy for them, but it was definitely a tearful goodbye! When they were leaving, we had a brief conversation with L about where they were going (he is ALWAYS so inquisitive and wanting to learn about everything), so we told him they were going to America. Of course he then asked if he could go to America and I briefly explained that yes, we would all be going, but after we gathered a lot of papers. Needless to say he was SO EXCITED and the rest of the day kept telling every adult, "I am going to America!!" Look out Charlottesville, he's coming for you! ;)

Walk past the golf course

Everyone getting out to stretch their legs :)

Zarie, Benja and Jelena ready to go home!

Thursday I wasn't feeling so great (just extra tired and achy with lots of blisters on my feet) and I was definitely dragging most of the morning. We stayed at the orphanage for worship, but then took the boys to the Jinja Sailing Club to play on the playground. They were fairly unimpressed this time around and we only stayed about 45 minutes before heading back for their lunch. J was having a hard morning with us, so it was good we only stayed for a bit as I knew he was ready to go back. I took a long nap during our mid-day break and it was a much needed time of rest. I felt a bit better in the afternoon, but was still just having a hard time keeping up. In the afternoon we decided to run some errands with the boys, so we packed them in the stroller and then headed downtown. We were able to get some good meat and bread (rare to come by consistently!) from a local store, and we stocked up before walking back to our place to put everything in the fridge/freezer. The boys have not been to our guest house yet, but they were stoked at the new scenery and even more excited about all the baby goats and cows roaming around on our road :)

Cow crossing :)

Friday was a bit odd and despite our good intentions to take the boys for an activity, we ended up back downtown for an iced coffee around mid-morning :) We let the boys eat their snack while out and about on the road, and they were loving having the freedom to eat AND view all their favorite things. We've spent a lot more time at the orphanage this week and we're quickly realizing how hard it is to spend any quality time with the boys while we're there. At the same time it's been hard trying to figure out something concrete to do everyday, especially while trying to be sensitive to the boys needs and already walking about 10 miles/day. Once the boys are with us full-time we plan to take them swimming and do some other outdoorsy things, but we're hesitant to do that until we have a little more trust under our belts and the boys are more consistent with their routine. Friday afternoon we got back to the orphanage around 4:00 just in time to hear about our rulings!!!! It was bittersweet as one of the other families got discouraging news, so even though we wanted to celebrate, we we're trying to be sensitive to their difficulties during this time. Paul and I were SO elated, yet it still felt so surreal! Once we heard the good news, we didn't want to stay at the orphanage so we took a new route and checked out a couple places to take the boys swimming in the next couple weeks. We dropped them back off at 6 and then headed to dinner with the other couple (Mitch and Lindsey) to celebrate and decompress :)

Family of 4!!!!

Snackmobile!

Celebrating our verbal rulings with ice cream under our mosquito net <3

Saturday was SO hot, but we braved the weather and walked to Heal Ministries. They are a local non-profit that empowers vulnerable, abandoned women and children, using Christ centered programs, that teach sustainability and family preservation. The women in their program make and sell pottery, jewelry, rugs and artwork which gives them money for food and shelter, and includes babysitting at the facility so their children are safe and take care of. They do beautiful work and it was a privilege to meet these beautiful women and support their cause. Additionally, they have a playground for the kids to play on which was a great distraction while I shopped :) The boys played on tires that look like bodas (motorcycles), in the sandbox, in the tree house and everywhere else they could see. It was a great time for all of us and we enjoyed hearing about their ministry while we were there. We also got some really beautiful pieces of jewelry and I will be sure to go back for gifts in the next couple weeks! Saturday afternoon Paul headed down to the local market to get some fruit (our boys can pound some bananas!), and we also got some fresh groceries to tide us over until next week. We've been trying to be as frugal as we can but it's been hard to stay consistent with food, especially when things go bad so quickly! After a short rest and lunch, we headed back to the orphanage and loaded the boys up for a walk. They have loved seeing their country in a new light and it's been fun to see their reactions to animals, cars and just the landscape in general. They are always SO excited to show us something and it's encouraging for us to see them learning and growing in new ways.

Walking to Heal Ministries

J on the swings!

Driving their Bodas!

Sandbox fun! They LOVED this!

Sunday morning was a nice change of pace and we were able to see our Ugandan friend Emmanuel again! He drove to Jinja to see us in the morning and we enjoyed a nice breakfast together before heading to the orphanage so he could meet our boys! They were a bit shy initially, but soon warmed up to him and I got some sweet pictures of them together :) He was definitely smitten with them and next time he comes we hope to spend more time all together. At 10:00am the boys went to church with the orphanage and we headed to church of our own. Paul was not feeling well so I headed to church with the other couple, Mitch and Lindsey. We went to Acacia Community Church, which was a bit outside the Jinja City Center, and we LOVED it! It was an awesome experience and we were able to connect with local families, both Ugandan and American. After trying 3 different churches, I think we will make Acacia our home church. It was a great mix of cultures and we enjoyed the outdoor atmosphere and worshiping with the beautiful people of Uganda. Sunday afternoon I headed to the orphanage solo as Paul was still recovering and decided just to stay at the orphanage as it's too hard to wrangle the boys on my own outside. They did pretty well, but were definitely missing their dad being around. Overall it was a very enjoyable day, but please pray that Paul continues to feel better!!

Acacia Community Church

We continue to enjoy our time here in Uganda and if we're being honest it's been a better experience so far than we imagined. That's not saying we don't have daily struggles or obstacles to tackle, but all in all we're enjoying getting to know this country, these beautiful people and of course our awesome little boys :) We still have a long way to go in the process, but we are confident that no matter what happens this is where we're supposed to be in this season of our lives and we will do whatever we can to make the best of it and enjoy every day to the fullest.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement, your support, your kindness and your financial support. We have been humbled so much by this process, and we know that without God and all of you, this truly wouldn't be possible. We love you all so much and we look forward to hearing from you soon!

xoxo,