Week 5...Encouraged

Hi All!

Greetings from beautiful Uganda! This week has been good in many ways, but exhausting in others. We are feeling so blessed to be able to have this time with our boys (that is truly unlike any other time we will have with them!), but there are definitely days when we feel frustrated and weary. We are trusting God like we never have before and trying to enjoy every day to the absolute fullest.

On Monday, the 14th, we were able to go to Kampala for the boys' passport interviews! We didn't know for sure until Monday morning at 8:35am and we left at 9:15am to make the drive. That is Uganda for you :) Our time at the passport office was fairly quick and easy, which we were thrilled about! We've heard horror stories from other families regarding their wait at the passport office, but God definitely went before us and we were able to get everything submitted with only a short wait. Praise Jesus! On the other hand, the drive to and from Kampala was terrible. We drove with another family who was taking their 1 son for his interview as well, but despite having a good amount of space, it was the worst drive we've had yet. J was having a REALLY hard time being confined in the car and he was so difficult. On our first trip to Kampala for court he did so well, but this time around was night and day difference. Paul and I were constantly rotating the boys for our own sake, but J had many instances of pure tantrums, and we were feeling so spent. L did pretty good overall, but still needed consistent prompting to maintain his safety. In Uganda there are no carseats, seatbelt wearing, etc in the car, so the boys are free to roam, stand, sit, crawl, whatever. It's AWFUL! It makes 10x the work for Paul and I to make sure they don't hurt themselves, and with the traffic, they are always getting thrown around the car. Often we adjust the seats to help "barricade" them in a bit, but it never seems to work. I will be SO HAPPY when we have to put them in car seats. All in all it was a 7 hour day, mostly in the car, and by the end of it I had a splitting headache and was just feeling like a terrible mom. We got back to the orphanage near dinner time and Paul and I played with them for a few before saying our goodbyes and heading out for dinner. We were all thrilled to be out of the car, and I'm praying that our next few trips will be much better than this one. Phew.

On Tuesday, Paul stayed with the boys all day and I headed to Kampala again (with 2 of the other moms) for the U.S. Embassy adoption information meeting. It was again a full day mostly in the car, but the session was very helpful, and it was good to meet all the people who will be interviewing us for our Visa approval. They were able to answer a lot of our questions regarding paperwork and investigation questions, and I felt much more at ease upon leaving. Additionally, it was nice to spend the day with the other moms and have some time to decompress a bit. We are all going through challenges of our own, but going through it together makes it that much better. Most people have no idea how difficult this process is, and it's such a blessing to have beautiful women who know your heart and thoughts and will just let you cry or complain with no judgment. We will forever we bonded together. I definitely missed seeing the boys today, but I was happy they enjoyed some quality time with their daddy :)

Paul lent them his raincoat as the rain started...this is what they did with it :)

Time with daddy :)

Wednesday was a normal day for us and we spent the morning with J at a local coffee shop. We have been working a lot on his social skills, ability to make eye contact, emotional response to stressors, colors, shapes, numbers and so much more. Overall he is responding well, but he gets overstimulated quickly, so we have to be able to give him some space to process before moving on to something else. He actually did really well while we were working with him, and I was feeling so encouraged by his progress. He still needs quite a bit of discipline to help calm his tantrums, but they are getting fewer and farther between which is HUGE. Wednesday afternoon we picked up both boys and brought them to our guest house. We played inside most of the time because there was heavy rain earlier in the day, but the boys loved it. They get so excited over the littlest things, like rolls of duct tape and flashlights, and we have so many videos of them giggling and rolling on the floor laughing over silly little things. It melts my heart! We also took them through pictures of our family, and they are getting good at knowing who people are. The cutest one is when J tries to say "Nana." Paul's mom goes by Nana and we have been trying to get the boys to just point out who people are without our prompting. Well, without fail, every time, he calls her "Banana." Even after our correction, he says Banana. Paul and I have to hold in our laughter, but I think this one may stick. Sorry Carol, you may always be Banana to him :)

L learning how to do a wheelbarrow race :)

Wearing our shoes around our apartment complex :)

Thursday was a more difficult day and J had more meltdowns than normal. I'm not sure what set him off in the morning, but it took a lot of patience and loving discipline before he finally calmed down. We took him back to the orphanage a little earlier than normal so he could ride bikes and jump on the trampoline a bit. We stayed and played with him there for a while, and we could tell he was enjoying the comfort of knowing his surroundings. J is bonding to us really well, but he is more sensitive to new surroundings than L. As we played with him we could see him returning more to his normal self, and by the time we left, he was content. This process is so hard on all of us and Paul and I are learning so much about our boys and ourselves with every passing day. When you're in the thick of this, it often feels like things will never be normal, but then we see progress in the littlest of things, and we again feel encouraged. God is definitely shaping our hearts during this journey; all we have to do is listen.

J riding his favorite bike at the orphanage

Friday was an overall good day and we had a wonderful time with J in the morning. He did so well with us, despite a couple things, and we were feeling much more at ease than the day before. Not only was he listening and responding to us more, but he started initiating communicating his needs to us, instead of us always having to ask. He has also been engaging with L much more and it's been so sweet to see them holding hands or calling for each other to come play. We are seeing how God is knitting all of our hearts together, and we are falling in love with our boys a little more each day. Even though we feel like crazy people sometimes, we have no doubt that this is what we were called to do.

We love when they love on each other 

Saturday was a HOT day, but we had a great time with the boys. We picked them up early in the morning and went for a long walk by the lake. We then went to Heal Ministries and played there for a little over an hour. They house many children from the community there as well, and I could tell both of our boys were being protective of us. Nevertheless, we had a great time swinging, "driving", playing in the sandbox and tree house and just being together. In the afternoon we brought the boys back to our place and just enjoyed some time together. They LOVE coming to our house and they are feeling more comfortable integrating themselves into our space. We gave them their new shoes that we brought with us, and you would've thought we bought them new bikes! They squealed with delight and did NOT want to take them off. The shoes that the orphanage gave them continue to fall apart and in the last couple weeks some of the other children have chewed them (when I say chewed, I mean literally taken HUGE bites out of their shoes) because of jealousy and availability. We were going to wait to give them their shoes until they were with us full time, but since their old shoes now fall off every 2 minutes, we gave them to them early :) They are so precious to us and it's been so fun to witness all these new firsts. We can't wait to come home and see more!

Paul and J looking down at us from the tree house!

Tire Swing fun!

Their new shoes :) As you can see they are RIGHT NEXT to their backpacks :)

Sunday we went to church, per the usual, and will plan to spend the afternoon with the boys until they head back for dinner and bed. They both really enjoy going to church and are often singing songs the rest of the day :) We're believing they'll enjoy it as much in America as they do here!

While we were hoping to be able to take the boys out full-time next week, we were unfortunately told we had to wait until we received our written rulings from the judge. This week will be 4 weeks from their court dates and we are praying we will get them soon. Until then our plan is to take L out of school, so we can spend more time with both of them, and begin to integrate them more into our routine. We will begin picking them up at 8:30 or 9am and keeping them with us all day until bedtime. This will mean they will begin to eat meals with us and nap with us, which will be a huge change for them. Please pray for us this week as we transition them into this and navigate their needs as well as ours. Even though we were disappointed to not take them full-time right away, I think this will be a good start to their adjustment of living with us. L is definitely ready, but we're asking God to be with J as I know he will have a harder time. This will definitely be a huge change for all of us, but we're excited for them to finally be Stevens :) 

Here's a video of L explaining the process :) "Paper on the judge we are going to sleep 'ere! Paper on the Embassy and we are going to America!" Enjoy :)

We don't anticipate any trips to Kampala this week, but please pray that our document process continues to go smoothly and that God will give us favor with everyone who will touch our paperwork. Paul and I are content with the timing as long as everything gets approved. In the end, all we care about is being able to come home with BOTH boys at the SAME TIME...and if that means a little longer here, we're OK with that.

We pray you are all well and are enjoying the beginnings of Fall. Please keep your e-mails and communication coming! We are definitely missing our friends and family and it's so wonderful to hear from all of you! A big thank you to all of you who have given financially. We appreciate it more than we can say and we can't wait to thank you all in person! Here's to week 6!

Love, love, love,